FFIL vent

i2012do

ya, bet thats a subject we don't see often here.
my FFIL is driving me insane. He's on a kick all of a suddne he wants to be involved. and he keeps asking me annoying questions that are knowledge he should know, etc.
Like when the wedding date is, the time, etc.askiung how many people for the rehearsal
 And then on top of it, he said he wants to plan the rehearsal dinner. and he is calling all the places I already called nad have menus on (which I sent to him) and he is like chosing the menu etc and the people are emailing me back telling me someone else is interested in my date and I have to explain -no its just my over enthusiastic father in law.
. I APPRECIATE his enthusiasm. But I would like to help chose the menu and the place. Also, they aren't from here they live 3000 miles awy. So he keeps suggesting places that I know are far from the area or dumps. I feel like maybe he shouldHELP plan it, instead of dictating stuff.
i dont meant o be rude. But i dont think men in general, and def. not this man know the LEAST bit about throwing a party or entertaining or anything....
He asked me if we were going to use paper plates or regular ones at the restaurant and he was calling a really high end place. AHHHH

I am trying to be REALLY patient

BTCarolus

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2012-weddings_ffil-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:1fb748ee-7a4e-40eb-b4b4-e553486f4cacDiscussion:435af10d-193e-46f2-82fa-2293c6f7ffdfPost:c95923ee-4f19-4fbb-820e-0138447d4ea8">FFIL vent</a>:
[QUOTE]I APPRECIATE his enthusiasm. But I would like to help chose the menu and the place. Also, they aren't from here they live 3000 miles awy. So he keeps suggesting places that I know are far from the area or dumps. I feel like maybe he shouldHELP plan it, instead of dictating stuff. i dont meant o be rude. But i dont think men in general, and def. not this man know the LEAST bit about throwing a party or entertaining or anything.... He asked me if we were going to use paper plates or regular ones at the restaurant and he was calling a really high end place. AHHHH I am trying to be REALLY patient
Posted by i2012do[/QUOTE]
Could you try letting go of the reigns, letting him plan it, and then in a month or two come back with a checklist and help him fill in everything he forgot? It sounds like you're simultaneously happy and annoyed that he's involved, but if you step back and let go for a bit you can relax. You probably need your reservation soon, but the details can probably still be decided on/changed in May or June. Just let him start planning it maybe w/ FI's involvement. Then he'll either surprise you and do everything perfectly, or you'll be able to fix things to your liking without causing too much of a blow-up.<div>
</div><div>That last part totally reminds me of my MIL. Not for the wedding, but for a family gathering last year where we needed a large cake (which I was supposed to order), she suddenly panicked and called the bakery to make sure they could bake cake in different sizes, based on how many people we expected. Seriously. She asked a bakery if it made multiple sizes of cake. She was also surprised that I was able to get a chocolate cake with raspberry filling. Because she thought anything other than strawberry or pudding must be a super-special order. SMH</div>

i2012do

uh ya! Well they said they'd "help" us with the payment. and he emailed me and said "are you totally SOLD on this place, cuz id like to do something super fun" but they don't know the area. They havent EVER been here. Etc.

So I assume if the bill is liek 1500 bucks we are going 50/50 on it with them.

You are right BT I appreciate his help but at the same time, I am annoyed that he is like calling me ad texting me constantly over this- I have a bigger fish to fry- the wedding and I don't really want to be stressed out over tis.
It seems him "helping" to plan is causing MORE stress than me planning it myself.

saraschilling88

I'm so sorry about your FFIL.  It sounds like he is very excited, but I agree with BT that maybe you could have your FI help him plan it if he wants to help plan?  Or maybe email ideas back and forth (or Skype?  Do you have Skype?) to figure out what both of you want. 

Also, if you can find reviews on the places you chose you could send those to him as a way to make sure he knows they are good places (or in the case of the dumps he has suggested, that they are dumps)   I know my Mom was bugging me to put a certain motel on the invitation enclosure cards.  My Great Aunt and Uncle used to own it, and it was apparently gorgeous then (I don't know as I wasn't born yet) but when I looked up reviews (on trip advisor) the place had TERRIBLE reviews (which is what I had heard anyway) so we agreed not to put it on the enclosure cards.  Just thought if it worked for me, it may work for you

I hope your stress level can go down soon, especially with this and the trolley thing both in the same week!!  Try to relax a bit this weekend (I know I'm going to try)!!  Take a few deep breaths, and just smile