Mother of Bride Dress

txtechgal

Anyone else have this issue? Apparently my mom is really POed that the MOG already picked out her dress and what not. I have never heard this but mom said it's tradtion for the MOB to pick and then tell the MOG what she got so they can coordinate/not clash/so on. I thought that sounded old fashioned and what not and how can she expect his mom to wait around for her when our engagement is only going to be 5.5 months, but I looked it up just now and sure enough it's on the knot. Although they said it can be seen as old-fashioned and unrealistic. I basically told my mom, not in these words, to get over it. But I know she's still steaming over it. What should I do if anything?

juliebug1997

Stay out of it.  That is tradition, not that it makes it right.

nae82

nothing you can really do.   I think it's silly though, and have never heard of that tradition.

Mariah&Steven

It is an old fashioned tradition.  I wouldn't do anything about it. So your FMIL bought a dress already?  Good for her and good for you!!   Now you don't have to stress about when she's going to get a dress. My MIL bought her dress before my mom and she was really hesitant to do that because of this "old fashioned rule".  I didn't care and I certainly wasn't going to make her wait on my mom (who's extremely flaky and probably would have bought a dress and taken it back a few dozen times before finding THE MOB dress that she decided to stick with).  She bought a champagne colored dress and my mom ended up picking a silvery blue dress. It all worked out. I would totally tell her that in the grand scheme of things it's not that big of a deal.  And I don't know why it matters  if the colors are coordinating or not. 

cherrrylll

I would just try to tell her that no one really follows that tradition and hope that she gets over it. It's a silly thing to even worry about. Who cares if the moms match? Thinking back to any wedding I've been to in my life, I couldn't tell you what the mothers wore.

bdettecrow

FI's mom asked me about this right after we got engaged. I told her my mom could care less what she wears/when she buys it. I just told her my rule: no white! ;-) MOG wants to wear black and I desprately want my mom to wear plum...she has gorgeous tan skin so she'd look great in it.I agree w/ Julie, just stay out of it. If your mom really has an issue with it, tell her to confront MOG. (Of course, saying that in the most tactful manner!)

juliebug1997

My MIL kept asking Bill about it who would then ask me.  My mom wanted to lose a few more pounds but still picked a dress a few months before the wedding.  I just didn't want them wearing the same dress.  At my SIL's wedding, her mother (my MIL) and her grandmother didn't talk about dresses and they ended up in the exact same dress.  Apparently my MIL had a hissy fit.

cherrrylll

I would hope she wouldn't feel the need to have a confrontation over it. I definitely wouldn't encourage one. I think that would just stir up drama with MOG that wouldn't otherwise exist and perhaps make her feel awkward.

fallbride1109

I had never heard of this and neither had any of us apparently.  My mother still thought the MOG wore blue.  Talk about ancient.My FMIL picked her dress out first and it is purple.  My mom is wearing champagne (my colors).  I wanted them to match but what can I do?  It's not worth worrying about.  Just tell her the MOG didn't know and it's done now and to pick what she wants.

txtechgal

I don't think she'll confront her, she just through a hissy fit around me about it. I haven't told FI and I guess I plan to keep my mouth shut now.I truly don't think they'll have to worry about matching dresses. My FMIL's dress came from a boutique in Atlanta and my mom is here in Dallas. Thinking back to my sisters wedding my mom picked out like 5+ dresses would return them and had two she picked from probably the few weeks before. So I don't know why she's being like this, I imagine she'll do the same for mine and not fully decide until right up to.The only think I can think of is that I think my mom thought my sister's FMIL was frumpy and didn't have competition with her, but my FMIL can be very fashionable and fun with her clothing. Ugh, I just don't want my mom harboring bad feelings toward my FMIL about a silly dress!!

shortgirltx

I have heard of it before many times.  I would talk to her and tell her that at the end of the day, it won't matter.I hope FMIL (who still goes by old school rules) doesn't wait on my mom 'cause she'll end up naked!

emcclure84

I have never heard of this tradition. My mom is having a hard time finding a dress because my FMIL decided she's just wearing a dress that she wears to church all the time. My mom doesn't want to out shine MIL but she also knows this is a special occassion and doesn't want to wear just any old dress she's worn a million times. Of course my MIL could care less that we are even having a wedding...oh the drama!