Ok, to start off I should say that when I got back to MN and engaged on October 6, 2011 my FI had a temporary job and I didn't have one. He told me he would cover our expenses and anything I made would go strictly towards our wedding expenses. Now I have a seasonal position at Target and have had 3 interviews for a full time Clinic LPN position (which is my dream job)! He has interviewed for a full time position at the company he is currently a temp for, and another position is opening up that he may potentially be interested in. He also has his own Tax Preparation Service that he is the sole tax preparer for.
So this past weekend we were at my parents house and my mom and I were talking about DJs, photographers, ensuring our reception venue, and blocking off hotel rooms for out of town guests (these are checks we have yet to finish due to time constraints between where we live and where the ceremony/reception will take place). We were really animated and talking also about centerpieces (since I had a few really cute ideas and pictures that I had found) and the guest list on my side because Mom was planning her Holiday card list! My FI overhears what we are talking about and says, "We should hold off on making any more decisions untl after we know how our interviews went". Then he went out hunting with my Dad and cousins. Mom and I were talking and she said, "Sounds like he is trying to postpone the wedding", and I said, "yeah, I'll talk to him when he gets back".
When he came back in I talked to him and he said "Well sweetheart if we don't get these positions we will have to delay the wedding, because we won't have the money for our mortgage". I told him I'd work 3 jobs if I had to to keep the money coming in to pay for our wedding, not to mention I have over $2,000 saved for the wedding already (a small portion is money from him).
Later he came in and asked if I was "Knotting" which is how he refers to me being active on this site, and I said "No, honestly I'm afraid to because of what we talked about earlier". He said, "I don't mean to upset you and want you to know that it is the last thing I want to happen, but we have to think about our home before we can get married".
So yesterday he comes to me and asks if he can buy a car for $500 because one of our multiple cars (between us we have 3 cars that are road worthy, and another 2 that could be with a little work) is being weird (electrical issues). Then he switches insurance from that faulty car to my car, but talked with the agent on price differences for full coverage versus liability only. Today he priced the value of my car and said "If you don't get in any accidents over the next 7 years its cheaper to just do liability only on your car".
I am just a little frustrated because I have been sacrificing so much to meet his frugality needs! I wanted a professional photographer, but because we can't find one for under a grand we are looking at just having friends photograph for us and maybe buying a more professional style camera (which we wanted anyway). My mom and I had discussed catering for the ease, but he balked at the cost of $8 a head because we are looking at 200-300 guests. His grandpa can provide us meat, so he thinks we should just have our families make all of our food rather than pay someone to cater. He had no idea what a wedding would cost, he figured $3000 at the most, and is hesitant to even hire a DJ for $700 for 5 hours!!!
I am trying to be patient, as I should know the results of my interviews within a week, but I am scared to death that he may seriously postpone the wedding because of the cost. His Dad said, "I think you guys are stupid for getting married, why can't you just stay living together it is working out just fine. You will waste a whole lot of money for a stupid piece of paper", as a response to us getting engaged. I love my FI, I would wait a lifetime to marry him if I have to, I just would rather get married on our chosen wedding date (August 18, 2012).
Sorry this was so long, I just needed to get it off my chest to someone not in the wedding or in the family units.