August 2012 Weddings

Advice Needed!

Yesterday I got a facebook message from FI's cousin (who lives half way across the country). She wants to know when our wedding is because she plans to book plane tickets for herself and her 1-2 year old to come to our wedding.

Here is the backstory:
We have told this person multiple times what our wedding date is and we sent out save the dates in January that were addressed to this cousin and her husband. Their 2 children were not listed because we do not plan on inviting any children to the wedding aside from wedding party members (who have all offered to have family members babysit during the majority of the ceremony/reception). She also messaged my fiance and I think that since its his cousin he should talk to her. He doesn't want to deal with it because she is a stay at home mom and her kids are her world. She might get really upset, but I'm more concerned about her being upset after plane tickets are purchased. We both are assuming that she won't come if she can't bring the kid/s. FI and I are both people who hate confrontation.

I feel weird replying on facebook. FMIL is the only one who talks with her over the phone (we don't even have the cousin's number) but I don't want to make her be the bad guy since it's our decision. Anyone have any suggestions?

Re: Advice Needed!

  • I would message her back letting her know due to your budget, children were left of the guest list, and if is still wanting to bring the child then you can provide some great references for a babysitter.  Also make it clear that you really would like for her to be there, blah blah blah.

    My aunt and uncle came to my sisters wedding a couple years and brought their 2 little boys, who were invited to the wedding and reception, but they decided to have my mom find a babysitter (someone we knew of course) for the boys to watch them at the hotel while they enjoyed themselves at the reception.  It was a win win for everyone, they boys got to swim, watch movies, etc.; and everyone had a great time.
  • I think it is the responsibility of your FI to reply to her.
    I also think if she reached out to you on fb, then that is how your FI should reply. Do you have to put "Adults only" on your invitations? We are inviting some kids so I'm not sure what the etiquette is for 'no kids.' Well I guess you said some kids... I think he has to say something like we are so excited to hear you plan to attend our wedding! And gosh I do not know what to say to nicely say: not your kids--just these few. I imagine I'll be in the same boat as you soon.

    Weddings are so weird. I better not have to do this again. Wink
  • Thanks for the suggestions. It is definitely an awkward situation.
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