Bachlorette party confusing question?????

leamide

Okay, I don't want to sound ungreatful, but I have already come out and told my Bridesmaids, a number of times, I don't want to go out to the bars for my bachlorette party. I asked them a number of times, if we could go do some wine testings at local wineries.This is for a number of reasons, I really haven't been to a bar in over 2 years, don't really like hanging out in bars, and I really don't feel comfortable with the whole bachlorette "bar party thing." I'm more of a quite type person who doesn't like to draw attention to myself.
So, my one bridesmaid asked me for the names and address of who I wanted to get together to go bar hoping and for a little bachlorette party after my shower.
I was a little taken back by the whole thing and really didn't know what to say or how to respond to her.
I KNOW, if it was her getting married and the one asked to do something specific, she would have come straight out to tell me that is not what she wanted.

I have been at the point where I am ready to just say forget the whole thing and don't worry about a bachlorette party for me, even before she brought it up about the bar hoping thing.
I just don't understand why someone would plan something that you had already told them you didn't want to do anyway?
Am I the one confused?

ohnoitskaroljo

Confront your bridesmaids and just tell them flat out you do NOT want to go out bar hopping and REFUSE to go. This is one thing where you are totally in your right to put your foot down. Just say that you don't like bar hopping and don't want to have that kind of party. 

I had to tell my bridesmaids that - because I don't drink at all, my partying days are behind me - so we're just going to do something laid back - no drinking involved. No one got offended. It's YOUR bachelorette party! It should be totally about what YOU want! Not what they want! If they wanna go bar hopping they can do that any time they want! A couple years ago a bunch of us ladies gathered and went on  our own little bar crawl where we switched at each bar for the girl who was pretending to get married - then you can get that attention and have that fun without subjecting a real bride to it who doesn't want it!

RichNicci4211122

My BM's range in age from 13 to 40, with that said the 4 adult BM's had the wonderful idea to relive their youth with the whole bar hopping and stripper thing.  Which I am not into.  I also don't want to have a bachlorette party that can't include the younger members of the BP.  So I suggested that we go somewhere nice for dinner all of us then do a scavenger hunt. When I suggested it they were a little taken aback that I didn't want the bar thing but were receptive to what I wanted.  So a friend of the family is doing the hunt list and we are going to break up into teams to find the objects then all meet at the restaraunt to see who found the most. 

leamide

Thanks ladies! I didn't want to sound ungreatful for what they want to do for me, but at the same time, I want to do something that I really enjoy.Thanks for the help!