Open Bar/Tipping

[Deleted User]

My fiance and I went to a wedding last weekend that had an open bar, and tip containers on all the bars.  I'm totally okay with tipping for drinks,  but the bartenders would wait to hand you your drink until you put your tip in the container, and it felt really awkward.   Since the drinks were in VERY small plastic cups, my FI and I probably spent $40 just in tips!

Which leads me to my question... We are having an open bar at our wedding and don't want our guests to feel like they HAVE to tip.  We already paid $2000 for "server fees/rental" and we are paying 20% gratuity on all the food and drinks, so the bartenders should already be receiving a huge tip for the evening.  Would it be rude to ask for no tip containers at our reception?  Am I even allowed to ask for something like that?

skeppler1

We are having an open bar also and I figure since it is part of the venue service and fee that we are paying for, there shouldn't be any tip jars out for our guests.  We have the opportunity to tip the wait staff and venue staff at the end of the night if we feel like they did a great job.  I hope there won't be any jars, that has me thinking now.  The whole reason why we wanted an open bar was so the guests don't spend money on drinks. 
Hopefully you will have the option of not having them there also.

spazticrexe

I don't think it's out of line to request there not be any tip jars out. I mean, if someone wants to tip, they'll tip. There shouldn't be a prompt or any kind of visual expectation from your guests.

lclemence

Technically if you are already paying a gratuity (not just a server fee), they really shouldn't have those tip jars on the bar. However, I have heard stories that some catering companies don't pass along gratuity to the servers, they simply keep it as additional revenue. It could have been that type of catering company at the wedding you went to and the servers were taking matters into their own hands. 

I don't think it's unreasonable to ask them not to do it ahead of time, or to just have your dad or someone ask for them  to be removed if they see them up there during the wedding.

Ajoyd

I agree with PPs, you are likely already paying your bartenders a service fee and you have the option to give them an additional gratuity at the end of the night. I would NOT be okay with the bartenders at my venue having a tip jar out. The only time that would be acceptable would  be at a cash bar.

id012

The weddings iv been to dont usally have a tip jar out but everyone alway tips. My fiance will usally give them a $50 bill at the beginning of the reception when we go up there so we dont have to keep giving him dollar bills. I wouldnt be ok with a tip jar out but i dont know if you can ask that. I think thats INCREDIABLY rude that they were pretty much holding off the drinks until they saw you put a tip in. A tip is something extra for doing a great job, its not maditory.

I have a few friends that work in wedding "factories" (places that do tons of weddings) as servers/bartenders/coat check/paprking attendance, and they all say they never see that graditude part of what we as brides pay. And they make minimum wage so its not like its just in there pay check. So what i mean is, if you are going to do no tipping then I would deffienitly plan to give all ur servers/bartenders big tips before you leave or before the reception. They are all just trying to make a living. But again I think its really freakin rude how that bartender handled it. 

So, im sure they all apperciate the tips, they work really really hard, i try to always tip people at weddings that help me out etc. Im sure your guest will want to do the same.

libby2483

I agree with PPs. I don't think it would be out of line to request this at all. If I was basically forced to tip as a guest, I would be very put off.

RichNicci4211122

I didn't want any tip jars out on the bar, I think that it's incredibly rude to ask your invited guests to dish out money for service.  So I called and asked the reception venue if there would be tip jars out at the bar.  She said that the bartenders do normally do this.  I told her that I didn't think that it was right, and asked her to please make a note on my account that there will be NO TIP JARS allowed at my reception.  If I feel that the service was worthy of a tip then I will see to it that a tip is given, not my invited guests.