Vent/Opinion

appletango85

I am so beside myself right now. On the verge of tears. And I don't even know if I'm over reacting.So last year or so David had several tickets go into warrants for not paying them/taking care of them. Had to bail him out of jail because of it. (side note:I'm soooo frustrated with his irresponsibleness (is that a word? lol) so this will probably come off as him looking like a retard but I don't care at this point ha!)Anyways, after he paid the tickets off, his license got suspended and he had to pay $250 then and then another $250 on his bday(again with the wtf why?!) Then he just tells me now that he got a ticket for driving with a suspended license and he has to pay $1000 now.Which means he doesn't have license or other gov't issued photo ID. Which means we can't get a marriage license. I am really upset that we won't have that document at our wedding and get pictures of us signing it there and on our wedding day. He mentioned he can borrow money again even though he just got the balance of the last amount he borrowed from his dad under $1000. I feel bad telling him to do it but I also want to do our license that day.I know I have every right to be frustrated and ticked off at the license situation but what about the marrige license thing? I don't know if I'm putting too much thought and meaning into it? Thoughts? Advice? @ss kickings? Comments?

Tiffany618

I am SO not an expert but would a government issued photo ID work?  You can get a photo id at the DPS just like a driver's license.  It will probably take 2-3 weeks to come in, but if he did it today I bet he would get it in time.

PaulandBrandy

does he still have the license in hand or did they take it from him?

Jay&Marissa

I'm sorry. ANd yes, you have the right to be royally pi**ed

shortgirltx

Were you originally wanting pics with the marriage license before this?  Could you 'make up' one for photos only?And yeah, I'd be pissed!!

appletango85

Well I think he lost it before it got suspended(smart move!) so he doesn't even have an old DL. He also doesn't have his SS card bc it got stolen YEARS ago when his first car got broken into(same incident where my class ring was also taken from his car). And you can't get a DL or ID without 2 forms of ID and you can't get a SS card without 2 forms of ID. Which he doesn't have. No passport either. It's like the loop of death.I am making him call the courthouse to see if he can use his birth certificate only. The website doesn't list it as an acceptable form of identification but other websites do.*sigh**headdesk*

Tiffany618

Goodness!   Well good luck, I hope it works out!

almoyo

I would be FURIOUS!

Jay&Marissa

My SS card was stolen when I was in high school and I didn't have a drivers license at that point and was able to get a new one--I think you should be able to get a SS card. He should anyway, since it's usually required for job stuff.

fallbride1109

Crossing my fingers the BC will work!  And yes you have every right to be angry, but hopefully this will make him understand that he needs to take care of these matters when they happen.

juliebug1997

I'd probably be kicking his butt.  That's about all I can come up with, Apple.  I'm sorry!

emimayor

Wow. From a legal stand point I'm furious for you. Can you even get married without a marriage license?

appletango85

In Texas common law is recognized. But no. It would just the motions that day if we can't get the license. So I can't even go with "at the end of the day you'll be married and that's all that matters" attitude! BECAUSE WE WON'T BE! He already feels shitty about me bailing him out of jail last year and for this happening. I feel bad making him feel even WORSE but like seriously?! I really just want to give him a tongue lashing! Maybe even a few good punches would make me feel better HA!

almoyo

Without a marriage license, you aren't legally married. That means you could have your wedding, but then have to go to the JoP to get for real married.

amber&richard05

Could he sit it out? I know that is kinda sucky but it would save you tons and he would possibly be able to get a marriage license.

amber&richard05

He should be able to go get a ID.

appletango85

No because he makes more money by going to work heh. I wanted to let him sit over the weekend the first time though...

Buttercup509

I'm really sorry, and I would be so pissed. But I'm a little confused. You said: Anyways, after he paid the tickets off, his license got suspended and he had to pay $250 then and then another $250 on his bday(again with the wtf why?!) Then he just tells me now that he got a ticket for driving with a suspended license and he has to pay $1000 now.If he already paid the fee for a suspended liscense, then why is he getting another ticket? Could this be an error?Good luck sorting everything out.

emimayor

Have you thought about putting off the wedding until you two are more financially sound? My opinion (since you asked for it) is to hold off. The situation you are in does not seem conducive to a healthy way to start a marriage. And I certainly wouldn't be worrying about a picture of a marriage license being signed; I'd be worried about the right, responsible decisions being made the first time around. I don't doubt you two have a strong relationship, but these types of things are not healthy financially or emotionally. What your FI did and they way he has handled it is flat out illegal, who cares about pictures and marriage licenses.

appletango85

The $1000 is for the ticket he received while driving with a suspended license. the $250 is apparently a fee for GETTING your license suspended. Or something of the sorts. Any way the gov't can get all your money they will take the opportunity.

emimayor

Any way the gov't can get all your money they will take the opportunity. This statement is infuriating. If he had not broken the law and/or taken responsibility for his actions, the "government" would not have to intervene at all or "get all your money". You're making this sound like it is the cities fault that he doesn't have his license and that he has to pay a large sum of money. It is 100% his fault. I don't feel sorry for you or him at all. h

Mariah&Steven

Any way the gov't can get all your money they will take the opportunity. This statement is infuriating. If he had not broken the law and/or taken responsibility for his actions, the "government" would not have to intervene at all or "get all your money". You're making this sound like it is the cities fault that he doesn't have his license and that he has to pay a large sum of money. It is 100% his fault. I agree with all of this.  Apple, your husband was caught driving with a suspended license!! You're lucky he was only fined $1000 and not something worse.  He didn't learn from his mistakes the first time.  I'm sorry, but to me this would make me reevaluate things.  And seriously taking pictures signing the marriage license should be LEAST of your worries.

Mariah&Steven

*correction.  Your "soon to be husband"

smileysara2008

I agree with some of what the other ladies have said.  It would worry me more that he's been this irresponsible about something so important.  I know people who have been arrested for driving with a suspended license, so imagine if that had happened (well, again)!However, while I know it's somewhat comforting to have women who are so amazing give you advice - you really have to follow what your gut is telling you.  Do YOU think this is a big deal?  How much does this mean to you? Beyond just the marriage license?  We can only offer so much advice (good or bad) as outsiders looking in.I hope this all works out, and I'm really sorry you're having to deal with this additional stress. 

appletango85

I am not blaming the gov't for his mistakes. It his 100% his fault. I just wasn't aware that you had to pay when your license suspended after paying for whatever made you get your license suspended in the first place.I am also not blaming the gov't for him having to pay $1000 ticket/fine. Again, totally his fault for getting his license suspended in the first place and then driving while it was suspended.I am not making any excuses for him. Or blaming anyone but HIM for all the crap he has to go through now. I also don't feel sorry for him either. I AM mad at him for not taking care of his business.

appletango85

Also, all this happened like a year and a half/2 years ago. He has been trying to just get it taken care of at this point. Except of course for the ticket.

JustinandLindsay2009

And I certainly wouldn't be worrying about a picture of a marriage license being signed; I'd be worried about the right, responsible decisions being made the first time around. I don't doubt you two have a strong relationship, but these types of things are not healthy financially or emotionally. What your FI did and they way he has handled it is flat out illegal, who cares about pictures and marriage licenses. I agree with this......I'd be worried that my FI wasn't reponsible enough to be a husband....when you're married, it's no longer just about you, it's about the other person too. He needs to learn to make better decisions and be responsible. I do feel sorry for you though...I'd be furious and i would be crying like a baby!

amber&richard05

As somebody who has gotten their license suspend before they ever even got one (long story short got a no seat belt ticket as a minor, Arlington said I did not go to court which I did but the court keeps no documentation of this so in turn they suspend my license). The fee is to reinstate his license not because it got suspended. He should of been worrying about this months ago, not now., kind of seems like his priorities are a little screwed up.

appletango85

Ah ok  thanks Amber for that info. That makes sense.He should of been worrying about this months ago, not now., kind of seems like his priorities are a little screwed up. Uh yeah my thoughts exactly. I also told him this earlier today when we were talking about it. And I *thought* he was. He said he was working on it back then, anyways. And maybe he was. I don't know exactly what he needs to do besides wait and pay. If I had realized we would need photo ID's I would have gotten onto him more. (Yes I know I shouldn't have to but everyone has their downfalls.)My license was expired for months before I renewed which is also illegal but I still drove around with it. I was actually not planning on renewing it til we were married which obviously wouldn't have worked either.

bat_02

Wow, that's a crazy mess. i would be very upset. I really hope that this sort of thing doesn't continue into your marriage!