August 2012 Weddings

Pasta bar and my FILs vent...

Okay, so my Fi and I are on a tight budget and decided on a pasta bar after much consideration. Our tentative menu:

Hors D’oeuvres

California Rolls
Traditional Shrimp Cocktail
Brie Cheese in Puff Pastry
Sea Scallops wrapped in Bacon
Franks in Puff Pastry w/ Sweet Mustard
Miniature Vegetable Egg Rolls w/ Apricot Sauce
Sliced Fresh Fruit Platter
Fresh Vegetable Platter w/ Dip
Assorted Hummus with Pita Chips
Imported & Domestic Cheese Board
w/ Flatbreads & Crackers

Pasta Station
Three Types Pasta - Three Types of Sauces
Italian Meatballs - Grilled Sliced Sausage
Roasted Peppers - Eggplant - Zucchini - Squash - Mushrooms

Lemon Chicken ( or Choice of Chicken Dish)
Mixed Braised Rice
Roasted Rosemary Potatoes
Grilled Seasonal Vegetables
Spring Mix Salad - Raspberry Vinaigrette
Assorted Dinner Rolls - French Bread

Red Velvet cupcakes
Coffee - Tea - DeCaf

It knocked about $15 off the per person price by going this route. So I forwarded it to my FMIL after a dinner where we were talking about food and she had asked for the caterer's information because she and FI's dad offered to help pay for the bar service. This was last week and since then they've expressed their disapproval of not having a fish and beef entree available and offering to pay for it, etc., etc. Now there's beef and seafood in the menu- just not entree sized- and it's more than adequate to me. 

The thing that annoys me is that they talk to him and ask him these questions and he never knows the "right thing to say..." but they haven't asked me- it's like when we first told them our venue (his mom immediately asked about all-inclusive places in NYC and whether we had checked everywhere and we were getting married so soon and were we sure about the place...) I do all the footwork and research and correspondance with potential vendors and although I do regularly update and involve my FI because I want him to know what our options are and everything, he just isn't as adept at defending our choices and just gets ambushed with questions and criticism. 

I'm not ungrateful that they're helping us out (they've picked up the photographer tab and the church fee) but I always go for options that we would be able to afford on our own. So our photographer is just doing the edited CD instead of the albums and prints and our church is the $400 Catholic one (mine) instead of the $1200 Methodist one (theirs.) 

I can't wait until I tell her that we're doing dried flowers and my ringbearer's pillow is moss and birch and our invitations are Vistaprint and that I'm making the centerpieces with the glass milk bottles I'm collecting and DIY wholesale flowers (she comments on our florist and I don't feel like explaing that it's an etsy artist in NH...) 

*sigh* Sorry that was so long, I'm done b*tching now. I sometimes just feel that everything I like and want and feel comfortable with (I mean, we met at Boy Scout camp, we're not very fancy!) is something that will inevitably be criticized. 

And they ask us why we're inviting so many people and we're both, like, it was your additions to the guest list?!? like, seriously...okay, I'm really done now...Tongue Out
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Re: Pasta bar and my FILs vent...

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    first: Red velvet cupcakes are FREAKIN awesome.
    second: Please explain how you met at BS camp?
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    We both worked at camp- I was in charge of the Handicraft Area and he was in charge of Field Sports. A bit unusual, I know. But there's some reassurance when a guy's seen you in a boy scout uniform and still thinks you're sexy.Wink
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    a.  I think your menu looks delicious
    b.  they just sound snooty and like the kind of people that will criticize anything they didn't pick themselves
    c.  do what you know will make you and your FI happy.  When the day is a success, they can all feel like idiots
    d.  if she brings up the guest list again, have something ready like "oh I know, we planned on a smaller wedding but after we got our families lists, those numbers went through the roof!"  see, you're agreeing with her but also letting her know it's her own damn fault!
    8/12 March Siggy- reception venue!
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    AjoydAjoyd member
    First Comment

    I agree with everything bmetz said.

    Your menu looks delicious, there are PLENTY of choices and you certainly don't need to offer entree-sized beef and fish.

    If you are happy with the decisions you've made, don't let them change your mind even if they offer to throw more money in. It is your day!

    Married my love 8-25-12 TTC #1 since September 2012. BFP 2-2-13. photo 455d4bc3-3623-4c16-8dd1-1fbc7e99e147.jpg BabyFruit Ticker My BFP Chart
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    Thanks you guys! I appreciate it, really. Sometimes I just have to remind myself that the last wedding his mom planned was thirty years ago, y'know? That and patience is a virtue, lol. I haven't had a talk about the menu since but we've decided that what we'll probably tell them is that the caterer is open to changing the menu if we want to and, in the event we get a really, REALLY low turnout (like, 60 of our 175 invitees) we can always upgrade the menu. But that this is what we're really settled on for a group of 100+. I figure since we won't know our attendance until July, that should settle the issue for now and satisfy them too. 

    And I love my venue too, chelsea! It was the first thing we really picked and it's such a perfect little place, all whitewash and windows.
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    I agree with Bmetz, your menu looks DELICIOUS!! 

    I feel for you with your FILs, keep your head up and remember that your FI loves you!! :) 
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