August 2012 Weddings

Changing the venue...Stress Vent!

So Ive been having issues my my venue when we first booked everything seemed great the venue is steps away from the beach walking distance from the church.  ( this is on a military base run by the military)  So about 2 weeks ago they told us there are changes in command and we cannot accomdate you for a plated dinner..okay breaking the contract, but I can do buffet okay until they gave us the buffet listing for food, glazed ham, turkey and stuffing, meatballs, in my eyes not something I want to serve at my wedding. So they said you can try an outside caterer and bring them in.  So we met with people and really like them and then the venue says the caterer can not use the kitchen in the venue after they said before they could. They keep going back and forth with things that they said, and it's really frustrating and upsetting because everything was planned out and it is less than 3 months away.  Now they are saying is our only choice is to use their buffet choices and that is it!

So my Dad and his girlfriend found another venue, but it is probably going to be much more pricy. But the ouside caterer that we like can come in and have full access to the kitchen, it  is overlooking the bay, I have not seen the room  yet, but my Dad and his girlfriend have a meeting with them today to see exactly what kind of pricing they can give us.  (I'm over an hour away at college, and I have work for the next three days otherwise I would be down there meeting with them too. )  But then there is the idea of us getting married there on the deck over the water instead of a chruch.  Also there is a completely different room that is available if it was to rain for the ceramony.  Which I think that I am okay with but my vison ever since I was younger  was to be in a church.

I am just completely stressed I couldn't even sleep last night...I guess I know it is possible to move everything, but I have had this vison in my head of where everything is and the set up of the floorplan etc.  That everything being completely different.  I spoke to my FI about it and he said whatever I want is fine, as long as we are together and getting married that day he doesn't care where it is, which is is true, but after all these months of planning for somewhere and now it is probably going to change.

Any advice?  I just needed to vent.
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Re: Changing the venue...Stress Vent!

  • I can understand your frustration!  The only advice I can give is to weigh which means more to you - having your ceremony in the church, but accepting food that you're not over-the-top pleased with (the buffet), or compromising your vision of a church to have the food you want.  Even a list of pros and cons may clue you in.  I mean, with your current venue, it sounds like the only con is the actual meal which means you get the ceremony you want, the cost is already accounted for, it's WAY easier to keep plans you have made than to re-do everything.  It's only 1 meal and as a guest, I wouldn't find anything wrong with it.  It actually sounds like a welcome change from the generic chicken breast or beef tenderloin plated dinner that I hate having at weddings.  Since you're not being forced out of your venue, it may not be worth the hassle of trying to do it just over the food choice.  Just my opinion.
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  • edited May 2012
    Why wouldn't you be able to use the same church and only change the reception location?

    I am sorry that this happened. Are you able to get your deposit back from the first place? Whatever you end up doing it will be beautiful and you will be married just the same, so try not to worry too much about it. make a list of the things that need to be changed/vendors you need to call and take care of them one at a time. 
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  • AjoydAjoyd member
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    I can completely understand your frustration as well. I would be totally unhappy with those buffet choices. Buffets can be really nice too but the choices they gave you just sound really boring to me.

    I think food is really important so if I were you I would go with the new venue IF you can work it into your budget and haven't already printed your invitations, etc. with your previous venue listed.

    Regarding the ceremony, is the new venue very far from the church? If not why don't you just stick with that if you're having a hard time changing your vision from getting married in a church? If it is super far away getting married overlooking the water will be beautiful!
    Married my love 8-25-12 TTC #1 since September 2012. BFP 2-2-13. photo 455d4bc3-3623-4c16-8dd1-1fbc7e99e147.jpg BabyFruit Ticker My BFP Chart
  • Oh my gosh that is so frustrating!!! And it's the home stretch too! Have you already ordered your invites, or worse sent them?? It's great that your dad is helping out and looking for a new place. I can't even imagine. But if you aren't freaking out too badly you are handling it as well as could be asked of you... It will all come together in the end. Keep us posted!
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  • maccor16 are you in Jersery? 

    Im sorry you have to deal with that....but it seems like you have a good support system behind you
  • Ugh! What a terrible thing to go through anytime, but especially this close! HUGS!
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  • I'm sorry to hear that happened.  I can't imagine how frustrated you must be.  For me, having good food is one of the most important things.  Like PP said, you'll just have to weigh the pros and cons of each and go with whatever option meets the needs that are most important to you.  Good luck and let us know how it turns out!
  • You poor thing! I would be so angry! Making a list of pros and cons for each possibility does help bring clarity, but these girls are right what is most important to you? What can you live without? This is your day, and there is no reason things shouldn't be perfect.
    What a beautiful mess this is...
  • It is all figured out now!!!!

    We are going with the new venue I went to see it, it's so pretty it's on the second floor by the water so no matter where guests sit they will have an amazing view of the water! =) Its a lot nicer overall.  I weighed the church vs. no church ceremony options and my FI and I decided to get married outside on the water.  Now to just hope for no rain.  I am using the caterer that we wanted to use at the other venue but we weren't allowed. I feel so much better with all these decisions!  The food will be plated, filet mingnon, and chicken marsala so I feel much better about that for sure. We did not send out the invites at the point of dealing with all this stress, Thank goodness.  We just put them in the mail this week. I feel so relived with the new venue and new choices.  Thanks for the advice ladies!

    odustudent22 yes I am in Jersey.
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