This is a LONG story but we are all stressed out and I am wondering what everyone thinks we should do??
My fiancé and his siblings are ALL getting married in 2012. In order to be fair, the parents told us we would all receive $5000 per couple and we could spend the money as we wish, whether it be on house improvements, honeymoon, whatever, and they would be at our wedding no matter where or when it was.
Couple #1 (K) was originally to be married locally in Sept 2011 but due to personal issues, they cancelled (lost all deposits) and are now scheduled for Maui 2012. Myself and the other FSIL are bridesmaids (we are marrying the brothers).
Couple #2 (C) scheduled their wedding locally for June 2012, so they wouldn't be married in the same year (originally) as K. Bride's parents are paying for most of their wedding.
Couple #3 (us) are getting married in Aug 2012. We were the last to get engaged and were not engaged when I agreed to be a bridesmaid in Maui. We are having a local wedding and paying about 1/3 of the wedding costs (split with both sides parents).
Ok so that's the basics now. Because of the cost and vacation time for the Maui wedding, ourselves and the other couple (C) are not going to be able to do our honeymoons right away. The B&G (K) have not offered to help pay for anything such as our dresses, hair, a night of accomodations, or absolutely anything for the Maui wedding... we all feel they're being extremely cheap and not showing appreciation for their guests flying so far to attend their wedding... not even arranging transportation for their guests to the wedding site or reception venue after. The reception they are planning for one drink per person (only 25 people are coming!), no events or anything planned. Basically we feel that we are spending all this money for one night only and they don't even appreciate it. They even went so far as to tell us they wanted cash gifts so they can travel next year, and we are not getting them a gift at this point.
On top of this selfishness, when the first wedding got cancelled the couple blamed the entire thing on my FMIL saying she was pushing them into a wedding they didn't want (which is not the case, the MOH was there for everything and everyone was completely on board). We just found out the real reason the wedding was cancelled is because the groom decided he still wanted to sleep with other women and asked for a weekend to do that (now I think he's a total douche btw). So they lied and placed the blame unfairly on my FMIL and it caused a lot of problems and stress for her and my FFIL.
Aside from this going on, the couple K has asked my fiancé's parents to help them out with their finances TWICE this year (mortgage payments and groceries!) and complaining about their lack of money, but somehow managed to afford a 10-day trip to the coast in August, the groom has booked a 4-week trip to Thailand in Jan 2012, and the bride is planning to go to Vegas for a week at new years. And on top of the parents helping them with their groceries earlier (which they deny but we know is true), we are sure that with the original deposits lost they are getting more than the $5000 we were all told about.
Ok so basically, we have been sucking it up all along until now when we just found out this stuff about the money problems and blaming my FMIL for the wedding cancellation. We don't even want to go to Maui anymore because it feels like obligation, they are being selfish brats about a LOT of things, and honestly, now that we're getting engaged I'd much rather spend that money and time on our own honeymoon since we are bitter about this whole Maui trip now. We are on the fence on whether to suck it up and be mad and just deal with it, or to just back out and buy them a nice present. What are your thoughts!?!? Please help. We are all mega stressed and I don't want us to all be fighting through all of our weddings!
(as a side note, the second wedding (C) hasn't made anyone mad, and so far neither has ours!).