Heres the situation: I have 5 BM. I was a BM for one of them, and then I was supposed to be BM for another one but her FI cancelled the weddintg 3 weeks prior. So, for both of them I threw showers, bachelorette party, bought dress, got hair/makeup done, bought lots of presents….etc. But, both of their parents offered to pay for our hotel rooms for the wedding weekend (2 couples per room, hotel out in the country, so probably not the most expensive, but still very nice). A couple months ago I asked who wanted to get hair or makeup done for my wedding and they both said they wanted just hair done (I cannot afford to pay for all of them so I gave the option, which is exactly what they did for their weddings). So yesterday I emailed them the cost ($83 for Kristen Colaneri) and they asked if we would all “be staying at the same place.” So I told them that I was recoemmending to stay at Hyatt Regency where I have discounted block for $99/night. Or, they could stay with me the night before the wedding for free because I have a 3 bedroom suite. So, this morning I get an email from each of them (separately) saying they are staying with friends when they come here and they are just getting their hair done around the place where they are staying and will meet up at the hotel later. One of the friends lives in Irving, not even Dallas. So, I think its kinda rude. Now, the cost per person for hair goes up (when they already said they wanted to get their hair done), and really, I am just upset because they will not be there with me. That’s the whole point of picking people to be bridesmaids. For each of their weddings, I just always said “whatever you want me to do, and whatever is easiest for you.” I didnt even have a job during their weddings, and I still initiated and threw showers, paid for anything thay seemed like they wanted me to do, etc… And, the one that did not end up getting married did not offer to return the gifts to me or anything (which I thought she should have at least offered). They both have jobs now and have been working for at least 4 years, so I would not think it is a money thing. Maybe they think it is rude of me to not offer to pay for them to have individual rooms? So, I wrote them emails and said “ I thought that everyone would stay at the Hyatt Regency for at least the night prior to the wedding because I thought it would be fun and everyone could be together. Do ya'll not want to stay there because of the cost? It is $99/night. If it is a big deal I am willing to pay for you to be there for me because that was the whole point of reserving a block of rooms and being bridesmaids. Let me know and we can work something out.” Bottom line: do you think it is rude of them to cancel their confirmation of hair appt, and refuse to stay at the hotel with me, or am I overreacting?