Rehersal Dinner Etiquite

smilesavy

Hi Ladies-

I am in need of some help...My FI and I are paying for the entire wedding on our own as well as the rehersal dinner.  We are having about 30 people at the rehersal dinner and all the places we are looking at do not include alcohol.  Is it rude to say there is a 1 drink limit that we will pay for?  or tell the restaurant there is a dollar cap??  I am really struggling with this...

Thanks!

dawnp917

Depends on the group, are they big drinkers? Are you ok with not providing alcohol at the rehearsal if people want a drink they can purchase from the bar? I don't think you have to provide alcohol at the rehearsal.

smilesavy

They can be big drinkers...but the rehersal dinner is on a Thursday night and I was going to include on the invite that drinks will be served at the hotel afterwards (a case of beer is much cheaper than 24 beers at a bar)   I am not trying to go cheap here but when we are shelling out what we are I need to control it a bit.

calindi

I just wouldn't provide alcohol.  We're not.  There's no rule that says you have to.  See if they'll let you buy a few bottles of wine if you're interested, one per table, which sounds like it would fit your budget.  Otherwise, just don't serve alcohol.  If your guests want it, it's a restaurant, they can start their own tab.

We're having our rehearsal dinner at a hibachi restaurant.  Dinner and non-alcoholic beverages are included.

StephBeanWed61502

It's rude to limit alcohol through drink tickets or telling everyone "one drink only."  It's much more polite to just skip the alcohol entirely and host a dry event if that's what you can afford.

Ajoyd

I have to disagree that it is rude to limit drinks. You're not telling them they can't have another drink, just that if they want more they have to pay for it. This can be done very discreetly.

My parents did this for my brother's rehearsal dinner; they limited it to two drinks per person. They did not give out tickets, they simply told the wait staff they would cover the cost for two drinks for each guest. I really don't think they were being rude considering it was a destination wedding and they invited ALL of the wedding guests to the RD, which ended up being about 50 people, maybe more, and I don't think your guests would consider it rude either.

That said, I also agree that you are not required to provide alcohol.

LittleMissCutiePie

With things like this, it's kind of all or nothing. I would suggest just providing wine and beer instead of putting a one drink limit on people. That comes off as super tacky. If you think that wine and beer won't be enough, don't serve liquor.

saraschilling88

I agree with PPs that it isn't rude to limit the amount of alcohol you are purchasing (for our reception, my parents are buying a certain amount of tickets and those will be distributed throughout the guests, after that it is a cash bar)!

I also think your idea of having drinks at the hotel later is a good one, that way you don't have to worry about people drinking and driving!

We are having our rehearsal dinner at a Mexican restaurant, so we are thinking a couple pitchers of strawberry margaritas, but if anybody wants anything else (like beer or hard liquor shots) they can buy those themselves.

kap617

I agree with most PPs.  I don't see a need to cover everyone's alcohol.  Weddings are such a money suck!  Just do what's right for your budget.

calindi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2012-weddings_rehersal-dinner-etiquite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:1fb748ee-7a4e-40eb-b4b4-e553486f4cacDiscussion:a4c48019-1e23-4167-80c1-1de243f53bb0Post:88f5f0ce-0a60-4e22-8869-03ae7695a8fe">Re: Rehersal Dinner Etiquite</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with PPs that it isn't rude to limit the amount of alcohol you are purchasing (for our reception, my parents are buying a certain amount of tickets and those will be distributed throughout the guests, after that it is a cash bar)! I also think your idea of having drinks at the hotel later is a good one, that way you don't have to worry about people drinking and driving! We are having our rehearsal dinner at a Mexican restaurant, so we are thinking a couple pitchers of strawberry margaritas, but if anybody wants anything else (like beer or hard liquor shots) they can buy those themselves.
Posted by saraschilling88[/QUOTE]

I'd keep this idea to yourself, as this will get you literally destroyed on some other boards on here!  It's considered very rude by a lot of people.

I admit that different regions have different etiquette in terms of what is acceptable and "normal".  Where I come from, a cash bar would definitely look odd.  Why couldn't you do something similar to what you're doing at your rehearsal (which sounds fine) by having a bottle of red and a bottle of white at each table at your wedding, and then just sodas?

saraschilling88

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2012-weddings_rehersal-dinner-etiquite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1fb748ee-7a4e-40eb-b4b4-e553486f4cacDiscussion:a4c48019-1e23-4167-80c1-1de243f53bb0Post:eb67374e-0070-487c-bcd2-7ee137b4c453">Re: Rehersal Dinner Etiquite</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Rehersal Dinner Etiquite : <strong>I'd keep this idea to yourself, as this will get you literally destroyed on some other boards on here!  It's considered very rude by a lot of people.</strong> I admit that different regions have different etiquette in terms of what is acceptable and "normal".  Where I come from, a cash bar would definitely look odd.  Why couldn't you do something similar to what you're doing at your rehearsal (which sounds fine) by having a bottle of red and a bottle of white at each table at your wedding, and then just sodas?
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

I'm guessing by this you meant the drink tickets and cash bar?  In my rural area a cash bar is considered acceptable, and the drink tickets aren't frowned upon (they are actually considered ok). 

I do want to thank you for the warning though, as I don't like to offend people.