Why are girls on the knot so cruel?

Sunshine811

So, I was just looking through other posts... I usually stick to this board and my local board, and just lurk others, but I spent some time reading and can't believe how ladies on here are so quick to be such B---- to eachother. Aren't we all on here just trying to the best we can and ask questions that we need answered? Why does it have to be such cruel responses and cut down other brides? I'm really infuriated with the evilness that comes out of these ladies. I think I'll stick to this board and my other one from now on, because they really make me want to cry for the girls that just ask questions and then have 8 people jump down their throat for not proper etiquete? A little bit of tact or courtesy or thinking of others feelings?- Nope, not on these boards.... I'm glad you ladies have always been supportive, but what are your thoughts on this? I'm curious 

LaurenG1986

oh my goodness!! I totally agree!!! They can be ruthless!! I asked a question on the etiquette board the other night and was terrified to see the responses!! I only read one and haven't even gone back to look because I'm afraid! lol. I am also so glad to be able to come to this board and the CT board without feeling nervous!

maggiebeth29

AGREE!

libby2483

I agree that sometimes ladies on certain boards can be very catty.  That's why I like this board so much - everyone shares an opinion without being rude!

mercy4

I think you're bound to get a snarky response anywhere. I've gotten them on boards I frequent. But I try to tell myself they don't know the whole story or maybe I explained it poorly.. Or maybe they're just having a bad day!

dawnp917

Lurking on boards can be a good thing. Generally the rude/snarky responses come when the same question has been asked multiple times where if a poster had scanned the page they would have gotten their answer. I know there are many things I am doing at the wedding which will be met with disapproval as it doesn't follow tradition but I choose not to post about those things. For example the wording on our invitations was very informal and did not follow proper etiquette or tradition but it worked for us. We are also using labels on our envelopes which is seen as a huge no-no to some.

unicorntrees

This board has been the nicest board I've seen. I don't think I've seen one snarky thing here in the time I've been lurking, since about January or so. If someone has a difference in opinion, it is straightforward but in a nice and/or neutral manner. I know I don't post all the time, but I love this board. 

I pretty much only check this one. Sometimes I glance at my local board, and I check in on the other boards as things come up for me. I've posted in some of the others a handful of times, and I always expect to get replies from brides that may not be written with butterflies and rainbows. I just try to be nice no matter what, and then take what info I want to take. 

The student board is also pretty nice too. I haven't followed it as much as this one, but I haven't come across rude stuff there. 

20pearls16

I stick to my regular 4 boards where I know the judge and jury won't send out the squad to get me.

msowena

I agree. I have found that out of any of the boards I have lurked, the etiquette board is the most rude. I always think to myself 'who are you to talk about etiquette and tact when you speak to people like that?'. There is almost always a tactful way to let someone know that their idea might not go over well with guests or that it is not considered proper etiquette (I'm not saying ALL girls on that board are rude.. I have seen some that give good advice in a tactful manner)... without straight up bashing on the person until they feel like a complete moron or you ruin their entire day.

mitshawt- I see where your coming from with people getting annoyed by posters not researching and instead posting the same things over and over. BUT some of those people might not even know how to lurk other than flipping through pages on the boards. When I first started on the knot I didn't even notice the search fields. And if they do know how to lurk, but choose to just ask the question... well then nobody is forcing them to answer. A lot of the time I have seen a question that has already gotten multiple replies with the "proper etiquette" and then it will continue another full page or two of people saying really mean things to the OP. If they are one of those people who are sick of answering the same question over and over.... then they probably shouldn't click on the post entitled "honeymoon registry" or "cash bar" lol

BTCarolus

In regard to people not lurking/searching, etc.: I think a lot of people who come to the knot have never, ever participated in an internet forum before. That's often the case with things with really specific focuses. The people who hang out on the boards often decide to eat them for lunch, but obviously the newbies don't know that they're committing internet faux pas (or etiquette faux pas), and it really scares a lot of people away. Also, TK's search function is both somewhat hard to find and really crappy, and it isn't designed in a way to limit redundant posts. So the forum isn't helping itself. (I'd also like to point out, as somebody who participates in other online forums, a lot of the long-term Knot hanger-outers on the e-board have terrible netiquette. This whole, "everytime I reply to somebody I quote their entire post" thing, very, very frowned upon elsewhere. In fact, one site I'm on, the webmaster designed a bot to auto-delete redundant quotes.)

I think another reason everybody seems so mean is that often these posts turn into big pile-ons. Twelve people post "don't send the registry card in your invites," within 20 seconds of each other, and then five more show up to re-enforce what everybody else said. So instead of a helpful comment and one or two people saying "yes, I agree with what PP said, here is a suggestion," you get thirty comments that seem to be yelling "don't do that, moron!"

[Deleted User]

Agree!  I tend to stick to this board and my local board, unless I have a specific question. 
I think now that we're down to 4! months to go, we're all on the same pages as far as stress levels and just generally wanting to help each other out.

saraschilling88

I agree that not all the girls on the knot are cruel, but there are a few boards (and posters) who can be.  I myself have literally cried after reading some responses to my posts on other boards (not on this one though)!!

I try to stick to this board and my local boards for that reason...

kthowell

I went on other boards too.....and OMG.....those women are straight b*tches

elhoekenga

B*tches be crazy. Let them be rude. It's their problem. One day they will get what is coming to them, karma is wonderful that way.

Personally I don't have time for rudeness or disrespectful people. Live and let live, go somewhere else with that negativity if that's all you have to offer!

They are probably already on a Bridezilla episode somewhere, anyway

ElyseE25

I totally agree with all you girls! This board is one of the nicest I've seen. The first time I posted a question about my MOH I got so many nasty responses that I went home and cried to my FI. I was devistated, it took a lot to finally get the courage up to ask another question. I feel like if you get to personal on any board except your month one you will get attacked! So aweful! 

leamide

I totally agree! I have just been sticking to a few boards as well, like in here where it is all nice.

I look at it as, when you are typing and reading something we probably all do it in different tones, so a question you may just want a simple question to, it is taken the wrong way by someone else and their response may reflect that. But, I have had a few run in's with some real B&%#H's on this site as well and I learned my lesson to keep it to just a few quite boards. lol