Head Count... Seriously??

DeClue82

SOOOOO we are finally past our RSVP due date. And we are still missing FIs entire family... And one of his friends. All grown people who have had weddings themselves. I have his mom on it calling them... I just got a FB message from his cousin, "Sorry I missed the deadline, I got busy, as of right now I'm not coming, if anything changes I'll let you know " WTH!?! It's 18 days away! I sent invites out 3 months ago! You had time to figure this out! And we are passed the point where I can handle wishy washy.

Then FI contacts his friend who is missing the response... He texts back "well if I come it will be solo my wife def. Can't make it." ok that is wonderful so we have one no, and one what!? Are you coming?! I need definite answers here I hand the final count in Friday!!

Anyone else hang these problems?!

libby2483

Good luck in getting ahold of your stragglers.  I think that was the most stressful part of the wedding for me.

We finally have all of ours in, but it took a while to get to that point.  The only person we still aren't sure about is my great aunt, and that is because my great uncle is very sick and may pass away before the wedding...so I definitely understand that one.  

There were a few friends and family members that we had to say, "If we don't hear from you by X day, we will have to count you as a no."  I don't mean to sound stuck up or like my wedding is overly fancy, but I am the first person on my dad's side of the family that has done a wedding that is a plated meal with assigned tables.  All of my cousins have just had buffet style at VFW halls or in someone's back yard.  Many didn't even ask people to RSVP.  Don't get me wrong, that is totally fine, but since my wedding is different than the style my family is used to, it means that some of my dad's family members didn't understand we needed an exact head count with a meal choice, not just a verbal commitment that "I may stop by".  

Again, best of luck with getting all of your RSVPs, and don't be afraid to be firm with people about a deadline, especially if you need to give a headcount to the caterer.

KT020803

ugh, I guess misery loves company. I feel slightly better than others are dealing with this BS, but I'm also like "this is not a facebook evite, if you want a place to sit, you give me a yes! or else don't even show!" My FI has a cousin that is 9 months pregnant but really wants to make it, she is the only person I am accepting this maybe/maybe not status from. Everyone else is just RUDE!

*For example, my FI's aunt lives literally 2 tenths of a mile away from my future IN-laws where the reception is being held. I can see her house from where the tent will be, she doesn't work and all her children are grown. She hasn't given us an answer or returned calls checking in...seriously? how rude can you be? and I remember when her daughter (fiance's cousin) got married that she was complaining about lack of responses. Pot calling kettle black much?

[Deleted User]

So as far as your cousin, I would text her one more time and say that you have to know by x date. If you don't hear from her you will unfortunately have to count her out. 

[Deleted User]

You need to be very specific with each person, it may sound rude but its RUDE to not answer or to not know! I mean they have had 3 plus months ahead of time knowing so who cares! 

samaram

People can be very rude and it is sometimes mind boggling! I think for us it is just dissapointing... either you cannot come because you have some sort of pre-existing time conflict or else... come! Especially my FIs friends who are doing this... the wedding is in 2 weeks... you either have other plans or you don't and if you don't then it is kind of hurtful that you cannot commit to my WEDDING because I consider you a good friend!!! I feel your pain  ladies!

Pammie76

I so feel your pain. Our RSVP date was the 24th. Fi's best friend just told us that his wife isn't coming, his other friend hasn't responded even after texting and a phone call, but yet can update his FB status. My cousin has not responded yet even after several phone calls. And someone who responded yes sent me a FB mess yesterday cancelling .. WTF people its not that hard to check yes/no on a piece of paper.. It's really starting to piss me off and making me not want these people to come at all .. Ok rant over

DeClue82

Thanks everyone. I wrote her ba k this morning and told her I turn the final count in Friday, so she has to let me know by then if anything changes. It really amazes me with her that she can't respond with an 100% answer. She has planned 3 weddings for herself so I know she knows what it's like to want people to RSvp!

calindi

Yeah, people shock me sometimes with the, "I didn't get back to you because I'm trying to make it, but I don't know if I can."  Uh... okay?  When will you know?

Or the people that are reserving the right to bring a guest, but haven't confirmed if they will actually be bringing one or what their name is for the list.  Goody!

It won't be my fault if someone doesn't have an escort card, or is listed as "Ms. Jane Doe & Guest"

transcriber87

Im personally sick to death of the word RSVP and headcount! My Mom and I feel like it was just $ wasted to even order RSVP cards not to mention the $$ spent on stamps! How frickin hard is it to write a number down and put it in the dam mailbox? SERIOUSLY? This part of the planning is THE WORST! I thought my fondant dilema was bad, the crap from my venue was bad but this is just really getting to me! People just do NOT understand the importance of getting back to someone..if your NOT coming, let me know!  Out of the 80+ invites, we only have 14! Oh wait, the mail just came and I got one! So that is 15 cards! Just an added stress just a couple of weeks away that us brides DO NOT need!

mbatzlaff

We are still waiting to hear from a few families. It is nearly 2 weeks past the deadline and I've tried to contact people but many still haven't responded. My favorite excuses so far have been "oh I lost the RSVP" and "I threw out the invitation" both of these people are coming. I'm still waiting to hear from a cousin who told my grandma she was coming 2 months ago but still hasn't responded to us. We originally planned to meet with caterer this week but were able to schedule something for next week instead because we still haven't heard from everyone. Seriously...don't people realize we are paying for their meal and need a number?

texasgurly13

We are still waiting on a little over 1/4 of our response cards back.  That's down from the 85 people we were missing as of Saturday.  I've gotten in touch with most of them through FB and my parents have called the people on their end.  

If the count is at least 100, I'm okay with that.  My parents paid for 50% of the reception based on a count of 150, and the venue said all we have to do is pay the remaining balance if the count is less than that.  

saraschilling88

So sorry this is happening to you too!!!  We invited nearly 400 guests (by the time all the "OMG I forgot to put this person on the list" people were invited!!

The RSVP date for us was the 18th, and we still have 70+ guests that haven't RSVP'd!!  We are doing a buffet meal and planned on 200 attending (our guest count is up to the 180s so we were pretty close), I just hope a lot of people don't crash because my Mom is now putting an announcement in the paper.  If we have to up the count to 225 I'd be fine with it.

Good luck everyone!!