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August 2012 Weddings

VENT: FMIL

So I think I have vented before about stuff like this. But I am mad at my FMIL. Basically, my fiance calls her all the time and she is always "too busy" to talk, and then I get on facebook and I guess shes' too busy playting Farmville to talk to her son--beacuse shes logged on doing crap on facebook. Thats vent number one.

Number 2 is that...
I asked her for a modified guest list. I know its early, but my parents are going to put down a 20% deposit at the caterer this weekend.  I emailed FMIL and said "hey we need an updated count. because right now we are at 113-- and we are hoping to get the list to stay around 140. but my parents have more to invite, so i was just looking for an estimate of How many more people you will add to your preliminary list.... so we can give the caterer a good idea of the count"  (We need to know a basic count, so the caterer can figure out the deposit!). I mean the deposit my parents put down is going to be a lot more, if say she has 50 more people she wants to add!

So they had 22 perople on the guest list. And I noticed, since we have been getting invited to my fi's cousins wedding on his dad's side- that NONE of those people were on there. Yes, she did not indclude Fiance's first cousins- on his dads side. People that invited US to their wedding. SO I emailed back and said "sorry, I noticed tjs cousins are missing--isn't that an additional 9 people and their spouses?"

and she wrote back "thats' not my side of the family. i don't really Talk to them, i dont know them well -i can't help you. The list I gave you is complete as far as im concerned"

OK THANKS. Thanks for your complete list of 22 people. So now, my fiance or I have to call his aunt and uncles on his dad's side and ask for their kids addresses and etc... because we don't even have it. Like THANKS for the help- Just add one more thing on my list.

You know, I understand that they can't contribute financially, but Don't you think it would be nice to take one thing off my fiance or my's plate? Since you aren't doing ANYTHING else to help- maybe you could offer to get their names. addresses and numbers of these people for us. Especially knowing you can't contribute to anything financially, and that you don't physically live here to go to vendor meetings-- maybe you would try to Help any other way you know how.
My friends parents live in CAli and they can't help them a lot, but didn't her FMIL send her some birdal magazines? And email her "how can I help?"

Thanks for the help

To be honest. I'm annoyed becuase I think its unfair to my parents to have to pay for people that don't even want to participate or appreciate that we are planning this big event. Its so nice of my parents to offer to  help- but its almost like a slap in their face that future inlaws could care less. Like they just assume us and my parents will just handle it. and take care of everything. Like, don't worry about offering to do anything- let my parents take care of it all.. .don't worry.
It feels like we are getting taken advantage of.

Which- isn't the first time I've felt this way with my Future in laws.
 One time they insisted on seeing us, so we flew half way to meet them- and because we only flew half way they expected us to pay for everything. They just sat there when the check came to dinner, etc. IT made me angry and they go "well we had to pay to fly here to meet you" well guess what SO DID WE!

uhhhh
im so mad.
www.weddedeverafter.blogspot.com
167 Invited image 34 Attending image Declined 4 image Still Waiting 129 image

Re: VENT: FMIL

  • Yikes - it sounds like she is a real peach....I'm sorry you are having so much trouble with her. Can you have FI deal with her at all?
    image 223 Invited
    image 127 Wouldn't miss it
    image 64 Passed on the fun
    image 32 Still undecided
    RSVP Date: August 1, 2012 Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • i2012doi2012do member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    Well fiancé and I went to a nice lunch Sunday and I basically started letting it all out about her and how I felt my parents were the schmucks that were there to pick up the tab on not only the financial part of the wedding but basically all the palanning. That his parents are just going to show up. I said it made me feel like it's a burden to them because i wanted a traditional wedding. A while back he called his mom to say he felt anxious that his parents weren't even going to come to the wedding, and that he felt they were starting to put a damper on the event. The way fiancé thinks his mom is being pretty selfish That she is being overly dramatic about stuff and making thigmgs difficult for us. It's just frustrating to see all my other friends getting married and their in laws are sending gifts, and having engagement dinners etc I Kano most ppl will say "just ignore it" but its so hard to do... When it feels like they don't care, kt hurts our feelings
    www.weddedeverafter.blogspot.com
    167 Invited image 34 Attending image Declined 4 image Still Waiting 129 image
  • FMIL's are just insane, I tell ya.

    But that would annoy the bajeesus out of me.
    Bio!
    Updated 8/9!
  • That does suck! I'm sorry that your going through those problems.
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