family not coming to wedding :(

Amandalyn2104

When my FI and I did our guest list we ended up with around 65 give or take a few people on each side and around 40 friends invited.  I knew out of the 180 invited around 140-150 would attend.  I just got off the phone with my mom and she was telling me about the family BBQ they had this weekend (we had already told my FILswe would go to their place or we would have gone to my families) She was asking around to get a feel of who was going to the wedding and out of the 65 people on my side of the family only 10 are coming.  I started to cry.  Some of the excuses they gave were even worse.  My Aunt who is also my godmother, said she didnt know the date of wedding and booked a party at her restuarant that day.  She has know the wedding date for over a year.  Then my cousin and his wife have a friend getting married the same day.  It hurt that they picked friends or family.  Then there was the aunt and uncle and their 4 daughters  (who are all grown up and have families) say that the hour drive was just too far to drive.  That if the wedding closer they would have.  But yet they drive here all the time to go shopping.

It hurts to know I will only have one table of people for my side of the family.  It hurts even more knowing my parents are paying for a reception where it will mostly be my FI side of family and friends.  

DeClue82

I'm in the same boat, I know how it feels, and it sucks to hear excuses. Just know that it's your day and the people who are there are the ones that truly care about you, and they are the ones that should be sharing such a special time... think about it like that... you don't want people mumbling and grumbling about having to drive or whatever their gripe may be... it's SO hard but try to see the positive. 

MelissaH21

I'm really sorry to hear that.  I know the feeling to hear people aren't coming that you thought for sure would come.  This process definitely has been a roller coaster ride.  Just remember that it's yours and your FI day and you have no control over other people.  That's something FI has to remind me a lot in all of this..  I can't worry about things I can't control.  Good luck! 

Kris012

That's really terrible!!! I'm so sorry.

TomCat2012

I'm estranged from my family, and it always sucks when the few people I did think supported me just decided they weren't coming. On the bright side, we get to invite friends we couldn't originally, which turned out to be awesome. Always look on the bright side. I choose to focus on the family I'm building instead of the people who have better things to do.

iriscarmendiaz

I feel your pain.

My fiance's family has exactly one family member attending. We also have a 76% decline rate.

So yeah. It sucks.

lb1212

Ouch! My heart aches for you! It really stinks that they aren't supporting you! I'm sure your parents don't care about the guest list. They want to celebrate your marriage!

libby2483

I'm really sorry to hear that. We have gotten a couple of no's from people I really thought would be there, so I know that it sucks. A good friend of mine got married last year, and they had a very unbalanced guest list. About 30 friends, 75 on the grooms side, and only 10 on her side. She was feeling down about it and the groom's father very sweetly said "By the reception, you will be a Smith, so you will have 85 family members there."

Amandalyn2104

Thanks everyone.  I'm trying very hard to stay positive. My FI has been very supportive

groom's father very sweetly said "By the reception, you will be a Smith, so you will have 85 family members there."

Thanks Libby2483 never thought of this but so very true   

LibbyC730

awww...so sweet of the father in law! 
I've had a few declines from family members, but nothing super shocking.  FI and I both have fairly small families, so most of the aunts and uncles try their best to make it to big events.  We did invite some friends and extended family that we knew couldn't make it to the wedding, but we wanted to include anyway.  Some of them have accepted the invite!  Like PPs have said, focus on the positives and everyone who will be able to make it there to support you!

orangemell2012

Same thing for me, the only family coming is my parents, brother and his wife. No aunts, uncle  from my Mom's, Dad's or Step Dad's side. So depressing!

dshankins

I know you pain also some people you thought would come dont and you wonder why but dont wanna be rude and just say why arnt you coming and i feel like im in the middle of the in laws due to divoriced parents issues and my fiancees sister isnt coming due to issues. it just hurts, and I feel like people dont understand but you just have to continue on and have a good time. dont let anyone ruin your very special day!!!