Unhappy with Ceremony

BrightFirefly

Background: We had a difficult time finding a ceremony venue/officiant and eventually ended up booking the two seperately. Our officiant is a reverend, but I was straight-forward with her about wanting a non-religious ceremony. When we met with her, She told me she did all kinds of ceremonies, including non-religious ones..

Now: I just received our ceremony via email - and I'm not happy with it at all...

She mentions god or the holy spirit MULTIPLE times throughout the ceremony..

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, amen.

To grow as individuals and grow closer as a couple and closer to God.

Let us pray.

Heavenly Father, ::insert entire freakin' prayer::

I'm no bridezilla, but the ceremony is IMPORTANT and to have mentions of god, the holy spirit, and a prayer totally cheapens and ruins the entire thing for me.

Do I email her back and ask her to remove them? I mean..she is a reverend..maybe this was her idea of non religious????

arunkumar

she didn't listen to you at all. I suggest doing some research on your own to find out what you may want said in your ceremony. It's your ceremony so you can certainly dictate that you don't want God mentioned multiple times. It seems excessive for a non religious ceremony. I don't understand why God is even mentioned once. I told my priest things that I wanted to cut out of my ceremony and he was fine with it. You just have to be honest and direct.  Ask for a revised ceremony to be sent to you soon for your approval. Don't wait until the ceremony to find out if she made the changes you requested.

BeachLover2885

I think you have every right to ask her to remove the religious terms. I didn't want a religious ceremony either so I completely understand your viewpoint. I agree with arunkamar about finding something to replace the religious wording to kind of give your officiant a model of what you want. I would be uncomfortable if my officiant tried to lead everyone in prayer b/c FI and I are from two different religions, so it would be very awkward. HTH! 

michelle11988

I would definitely be emailing her back about your previous requests and this is why you hired her.  Definitely fight back and don't let her think you will just allow it to happen.  Since its kind of close you might want to give her a call about it in case she doesn't check her email all that much.

knjorgensen

Agree with all the PPs. She should uphold what she said she could provide you, but in the meantime, you should think about perhaps researching another officiant in case this one doesn't pull through.

Nati05

Yeah definitely email her back. There's no way this means non-religious to her. Maybe she got her formats mixed up and sent you the wrong one? Either way definitely kindly remind her you hired for a non religious ceremony and that you'd like to remove those parts

littlemoments324

ditto

BmoreBride311

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_unhappy-with-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:158a16bd-3716-4d57-9696-276eda3c1cb8Post:844b06ea-39e0-4a43-a27e-15461bf8821d">Re: Unhappy with Ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah definitely email her back. <strong>There's no way this means non-religious to her. Maybe she got her formats mixed up and sent you the wrong one?</strong> Either way definitely kindly remind her you hired for a non religious ceremony and that you'd like to remove those parts :)
Posted by Nati05[/QUOTE]

This! Hopefully it was just an error on her part and you can work it out.

rachael7183

absolutely, write her and tell that was not what you discussed.  I told my officiant that I do not want any mention of god or religion in my ceremony, because my FI is muslim and I am catholic, and his family (not so much my family) would probably get offended if the catholic religion was mentioned during the ceremony...instead she is making it lighthearted/a little funny and more about just us.

butterflyjumper1

tell her what you want. Everyone should have a perfect wedding ceremony. If you told her non-religious, that is what you should get.

BrightFirefly

Thanks ladies. I emailed her last night and she said she would tone it down and email me a revised version tonight.

I am getting so FREAKING nervous now that we're at just about 2 weeks.  I realized that all those "small details" need to be tied up soon..:p