Advice needed: Didn't get to talk to all guests

itzMS

Hi Everyone, I mainly lurk, but I need some advice on an issue I haven't seen discussed.

DH & I were married on Saturday (yay!) We truly feel we had a beautiful ceremony and have no regrets.

However, some of our more bold/assertive guests are starting to email and facebook message us about how rude it was of us not to talk to them.


To make a long story short, we didn't get to spend time with each and every guest due to a non-traditional reception. Amongst other things, we also had a very demanding photographer as well as unforseen delays with transportation.


Before our wedding, we had every intention on making rounds to speak to everyone and had even devised a plan on how to do so. It didn't go as planned. Obviously, I can't go back in time.  I can't make individual calls to over 200 people and explain all of the unforseen logistical nightmares of the wedding.

Thoughts/advice on how to cope and move forward?

calindi

For the ones who confront you, I'd apologize sincerely, say you were also disappointed you didn't get time to see them.  If they live nearby, ask them when would be convenient to meet up for a drink (you'd be buying) or stop by to visit for a bit and catch up.  If they live far away, maybe suggestin arranging for a Skype chat or a phone call to catch up and talk.

dawnp917

That's unfortunate that you weren't able to talk to all the guests.   I agree with PP that you should respond to those that are reaching out to you and apologize but don't make too many excuses about why you weren't able to speak to each guest.   You say you can't make 200 calls.   How many guests were you unable to speak with?  Did you only speak to a small number of guests.  

spazticrexe

I would apologize to those who call you out on it, but most people are cognizant of the fact that the wedding day is a crazy hectic time.

If you know specifically who you didn't get a chance to talk to, you could opt to acknowledge that in your thank you note (if they gave a gift).

Otherwise, I really wouldn't worry about it too much.

mbatzlaff

I didn't get to talk with everyone either. We did a receiving line where we were able to greet guests when they exited the ceremony. This was the best I was able to talk with the majority of the guests, but it was because I was feeling pretty ill all day. I've been to weddings where the bride and groom went to every table to talk with guests and ones where I barely saw the couple at all. I don't think you have to appologize considering it is extremely difficult to host an event for a large number of people, but I also think taking time to meet up with a few people who may have felt neglected (expecially if you are close with them) may go a long way. Maybe you could write something in the thank you notes about wishing you had more time to spend with them.

itzMS

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2012-weddings_advice-needed-didnt-get-to-talk-to-all-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1fb748ee-7a4e-40eb-b4b4-e553486f4cacDiscussion:f3af60a4-ce86-452b-aa3d-c6a98a0d636ePost:fcfd77e8-d81f-489c-af3c-900a3ee72e25">Re: Advice needed: Didn't get to talk to all guests</a>:
[QUOTE]That's unfortunate that you weren't able to talk to all the guests.   I agree with PP that you should respond to those that are reaching out to you and apologize but don't make too many excuses about why you weren't able to speak to each guest.   You say you can't make 200 calls.   <strong>How many guests were you unable to speak with?  Did you only speak to a small number of guests.  
</strong>Posted by dawnp917[/QUOTE]

We were able to do the <em>very</em> quick smile/wave/say hi/hug to a good majority. There were almost zero at-length conversations. However, we were extremely pressed for time because of delays mentioned above which is what I believe guests are alluding to as rude.  It stinks that I offended people due to things completely out of my control.

Thanks everyone for the guidance.

lb1212

Wow...I can't believe people are that offended!! I've been to several weddings where I didn't get to speak to the bride at all. I thought I understood how hectic a wedding reception was to the newlyweds.....but I never imagined that my own 4 hr - reception would feel like 20 minutes!  As PP's have said, sincerely apologize, but keep it simple. I think over-explaining isn't necessary - really I don't think ANY explanations are needed.

transcriber87

I also had been to a few weddings where I didn't get to talk to the bride and we had talked about how we would go to each table and mingle with our guests...well, that flew right out the window..We would be making our way to a table and someone would stop us and we would talk for a minute and then hubby was pulled away by someone to go talk to someone or go smoke a cig and then I would try to make my way to another table, got stopped, the photographer was taking pictures...its really all a blur, I had no clue I wouldn't get to talk to everyone...Once we were inside and the actual reception started, we were running almost 1/2 hr behind due to the photos outside and they went on longer than planned because of the sun so we had a total of 3 hours for eating, cake cutting, garter toss, bouquet toss, first dances, toasts, I didn't even go to the bathroom the whole time..Some people are funny though and maybe didn't understand what a timeline you were on and being pulled in all directions

PeanutThomas

Like our wedding, I'm sure some people traveled and took time off work to attend your wedding. If I hadn't had time to say hello and thanks for coming to those people, I'd understand if they were a little disappointed. But offended? Um, no. The bride isn't going to evaporate at midnight, the groom won't turn back into a frog, the guests will probably see at least one of you again.
That said, people will be even more upset if you don't acknowledge them now. Tell those who directly complain to you that you'd be happy to have drinks or even a dinner party (like a mini-reception, maybe?) the next time they're in town. To those who haven't complained, just a simple, "I'm sorry we weren't able to spend more time with you on our wedding day, but we're so happy you were there" in the thank-you cards should suffice.
I'm sorry people are getting so grouchy to you. People stink sometimes.