Arguing?

DeClue82

Anyone else arguing with FI? He's in Ohio right now, and I've been in NC for 1.5 weeks... today he got really annoyed with me over basically nothing.. (I was trying to explain to him why it's kind of rude to call up people invited to my shower and tell them what to bring for the wishing well...) Anyway.. he ended up calling me a Bridezilla and hanging up... I know he is stressed out bc I've been gone almost 2 weeks, and he was planning on coming this weekend and now he can't... but it is really stressful when I'm the one down here dealing with all the vendors, and paying them... watching my bank account get lower and lower, and then he is arguing over stupid stuff...Anyone else i the same boat?

KTina&BJ

Im with you, while we are not have to be apart like you guys weve been in the process of remodeling a house while wedding planning. We just moved in this weekend...Its just alot of stress. I know things will go back to normal as soon as the wedding is over since that was just more added stress onto everything else. Unfortunatly I am a bit of a bridezilla to FI cause when people make me mad about wedding stuff (such as rsvp's he gets the wrath of my bi**hing about people haha)

brij2006

Sure am.  I think ours is more because FI realized last night that he hasn't been much help with the planning and organizing of things. We meet with the lady who is helping me decorate the church the day before (a good family friend who is very crafty), and she was trying to figure out how to hang some things in the church. Then FI suggested how to, and what he saw used in the 3 other weddings he's been in. Then he was giving his 2 cents about what to have for lunch the day after, to provide all of our family with during gift opening. Both myself, my mom, and the friend helping us, asked him where he's been these past 4 months, because he's now finally giving a say to things, now that things have already been decided.

I just told him I can't wait for the honeymoon. No worries, no more stress, no more not seeing each other because I'm running around meeting someone or going somewhere every night.

sasha213sw

While I am with you on the "watching the bank account get lower and lower" part, FI and I are actually communicating well. He is even offering to do stuff like get the marriage license and help me with some last minute projects. His first question when he gets home is how many rsvp's did we get today (so cute!).

I'm really sorry that you two are arguing. I'm sure it's just because he misses you and is bummed that he can't see you this weekend like he thought. I am the type of person that usually ends up re-directing my anger/frustration about anything at a totally inappropriate source (FI) so maybe that's what's happening with him.

I'm sure you guys will be back in bliss mode soon!

Jojo714

Yes.

Today was a prime example. He calls me to ask  "what do we have to do today?" (in terms of appointments for the wedding) and when I told him I had an appt. with the planner- he asks me the reason for this appt. and I tell him to discuss the menus and basically the final paper products. He starts saying, don't they provide those BUT with attitude. It's like every penny bothers him, but I'm spending those pennies and not asking him for anything extra. That aggravates me so much. I don't sit there and give him attitude for the unnecessary new car, nor for the cool lights he's ordering. Nor for the 50 billion things he's gotten for himself throughout the planning process. He chooses to spend his extra money on him, and my extra money goes to the wedding. 

However- he says our arguments are nothing in comparison to his friend and the fiance. They are getting married shortly after we do, and apparently the guy has been venting to him about how crazy his fiance is driving him. He said that the fights have been so bad and out of control that he doesn't even know why they are getting married anymore. (I'm sure he just says it out of anger) Same thing- money. In his case though, he seems to feel that she's draining him financially.

iriscarmendiaz

Yeah, he isn't speaking to me right now.

I almost got into two accidents this morning (one was not my fault) and the second one, I almost hit a CHP and my hitting of the breaks made him spill his coffee ALL OVER HIS PANTS, SNEAKERS, and the CAR.

Sometimes I wonder if we'll make it to the altar. *sigh*

What a stressful morning.

nessavll

I can totally relate. It seems like the last few weeks put so much stress on the relationship. My FI feels like he is being neglected but he doesn't have a clue how much work I am doing for the wedding on my days off. Can't wait to get to the honeymoon so we can have some relaxing 1-on-1 time.

spazticrexe

We've had some of this.

Getting the marriage license was a BEAR. I was stressed about all kinds of little things since we had to go downtown to get it, and I was trying to not be late for work and just because I was in a not-so-great mood he got PO'd. We ended up going later that week and I took a half day from work so it wouldn't be so stressful!

Since then we've been on a pretty even keel and FI has been more into getting wedding stuff done. He's already acknowledged that I've pretty much done everything for planning the wedding, so I think it helps that we're both on the same page.

KT020803

Good luck to all the ladies during this stressful last month before the big day nonsense.

I guess I am the odd ball out. The first 3 months of wedding planning for us were miserable, us fighting all the time, me crying and saying lets just go to the courthouse because I don't want to start our marriage with us being resentful on the others priorities during the planning. Once we finally agreed on a budget, and all the big details we really have been better off.

You would think after 9 years together we could agree on who was important enough to come to the wedding but that was a huge fight (guest list drama). I'm still excited for the wedding, but I think we both are holding out breath for more NO rsvp's that are remanining just for less logisitics to handle and being able to enjoy all our work.

Ballet513

We've had a little of this...mostly he'll think of something and say "babe you need to call the florist and ask for this" um why can't you? Otherwise we're getting alone well and he keeps texting me a countdown at some point throughout the day of days will we are married. Its really sweet, can't wait to marry him!

ohnoitskaroljo

We haven't been fighting too much between us - but we don't fight much in general. Usually it's a full day of me bitching at him via texts then when we get home everything is fine again. (We refuse to fight infront of my daughter - she's never seen us argue and we like to keep it that way). 

He's been pretty helpful when I ask him for help but lately he's just gotten lazy since we got into the new apartment and he spends most of his time playing video games. Like literally he gets home and starts playing. It makes me crazy. OR he's watching tv. I've had to literally go pause it or log him out of the game to get him to do things. I've gotten snippy with him but mainly because I'm under a ton of stress. Things don't get to him the way they get to me, so it's mostly me taking the stress and frustration out on him.  And I'm not a bridezilla at all so I'm not freaking out about stuff. Just stressed about getting things done so we can relax. (Altho no can do on that front as I go back to school immediately following the ceremony!)

rungirl12

I agree with a couple others on here that FI & I rarely fight  These past few months have been wonderful and we've been getting things done as a team (me initiating and him stepping up when asked).

There was a patch during January where I was becoming a tad bit overworked and stressing too much.  I wasn't being the nicest to some family members and FI called me out on it which upset me, but in the end was for the best.  It was really the only "fight" I can recall us having and I can say now that he was right & I was wrong.  He helped nip it in the bud before I blew anything way out of control.

There have been a couple tasks he is in charge of that I keep asking him about and I keep waiting for him to get mad or think I'm nagging, but he hasn't, so that's good!  I want him to ask his sister's to do the readings and I think he finally did this week!

jmleejohnson

Jeremy and I argued last night over me spending 20 dollars at a company lunch, I was under the impression that the company was paying for it, but when they didn't what was I supposed to do? Tell them... um I am sorry I wasn't planning on paying for this...?? Anyway, Jeremy freaked out because we are at the point where we are living paycheck to paycheck paying for this wedding which is not something we ever do and it is uncomfortable. I can't wait until the wedding is over.

libby2483

FI and I haven't been fighting much at all.  I think it is because he has taken a more hands-off approach to the wedding.  He definitely helps when I need him to or ask him to do something. However, since I am taking the lead role on things, and he doesn't have a lot of strong opinions, there isn't much to fight about.  We did get in one really silly fight about our bridal processional, but overall, things are good!

PeanutThomas

I noticed more bickering in the past month or so over little stupid things ("The cat got out and you were on the phone and I felt like you weren't helping me catch her!"), but I think a big part of that is our new roommate, who I despise. FI and I have had a rough year, but once everything has settled down and we have enough money to live without a roommate, we'll be back to Blissville.
I think all of us will feel much less grumpy in about a month!