venting about ceterer (crap, kinda long)

felkels

I am getting married at a chapel on a college campus.  By contract, every catered event on campus has to be done through their food services people, who are actually an independant catering company.  I have been in contact with the man in charge of the company several times both via face to face, and email.  We have e-mailed back and fourth several times trying to find a date to actually meet in person and talk about what we want.  My Fiance and I work graveyard, and our days off are at the begining of the week...rather than the end or the traditional weekend.  I asked if we could meet on a monday, and he said he would be out of town, and after a little back and forth, I just ask him to name the day and time of our meeting, and dispite our sleep schedule, we would find a way to make it work.  So he said specifically Friday March 26th at 2:00pm?  I said fine, we will make that work!

So we showed up today, and way to make a bride feel insecure 3 months before the wedding...the caterer I HAVE to hire is a no show!  I realize weddings are not this guy's main livelyhood, but if he can't respect me enough to show up to the time HE set, why should I have to hire him?  Our reception has already been changed venue wise several times, and the invites have already been printed, so the location cannot really change.  Deposits are down and everything. 

My theme is old fashoned picnic, and I am such a control freak that I refuse to throw one of the two biggests parts of my budget to someone who dosen't care.  I have the entire week off before the wedding, and my best friends will be in town to help me get ready...all we really need are some amazing fruit trays, bowls of potato chips, some to die for sandwiches, and drinks such and lemonaid and iced tea.  We can do that! 

I just need to check with the venue to make sure home cooking is not considered catering...Lets just pray it is not.  I didn't want the stress, as I am already putting all of my own flowers togheter the day before...but if he is not going to care about making money and being hired for that day...why should I HAVE to hire him?  I am about ready to just loose my deposit and go to a park so I can get a different caterer, or spend my entire wedding week cooking, and preping more than I ever expected for the wedding. 

Sue-n-Kevin

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles.

My recommendation would be to make sure the venue and caterer know that you have a MULTITUDE of friends on multiple social internet sites, and you will trash them to whomever will listen. Because it's a college campus, and a designated food service company (who deal with cafeterias vs weddings), it may be a hollow threat.

I would also show up at the catering company's office and wait there on one of your days off until they get the guy there. Sort of a "sit-in" a la the 1970's. They may not do this a lot, but it is vitally important to YOU that it is done right.

Or you can work through the college and do the same thing. The college has a long term contract with this vendor, and while they may be happy, you are not, and can trash the caterer's services.

I'd do all of the above before trying to get the college to bend the rules. Then, if neither party comes around to meet your sense of urgency, make and bring your own food and your guests will have a plethora of things to choose from if the caterer shows up with their stuff as well. If there are extras, donate them to the local homeless shelter. The college can't kick you out for taking care of your event ON THE DAY OF YOUR WEDDING! As the saying goes, it's easier to ask for forgiveness after the fact than permission beforehand.

Good luck.

felkels

Thank you
I started to send an angry email to the man I would be dealing with, but I stopped myself...I did however tell the college what was going on and ask what the extent of their contract was.  I went over the email that the caterer sent me, where he specifically set the time and the date, and I responded saying I don't care how hard it is with my schedule, I will make that work.  I am hoping the college lady does not talk to him before I do...but if I can pull out and still have food, I think I would be happier... I was planning on doing my own catering until the funds came through, and I am kinda a control freak.  Anyway, I will take your advise into consideration.

LauraT25

I'm sorry you're dealing with this, and I agree you should do what PP suggested to try and get the caterer to be more agreeable.  But I just want to warn you, you probably won't be able to bring your own food.  We were originally looking at getting married at our alma mater, and they told us the same thing, and specifically said that we could not bring in any outside food, even homemade - the lady told us a story about how a bride had a family member make a cake, and they couldn't let her serve it. 

She said she felt terrible, but it's a liability issue and there's no getting around it.  So I wouldn't plan on that, because it would be a shame if a lot of people spent all that time preparing food and it got confiscated and everyone wound up goinf hungry.

felkels

I am checking first before I talk to him.  Thank you.

mbcdefg

Have you talked to him about why he didn't show? Maybe something came up.

felkels

Not yet, I have not been able to get a hold of him since.  He has my contact information as well, so if somethind did come up, I would think he would have called me.  I did leave him a message also, which he has not returned.  I am going to try again tomorrow.

UDscoobychick

Ya, a lot of times homemade food is not allowed because of the health department...so definitely double-check that beforehand.  GL!