Need Help alcohol or not ?

Elatrella

Okay So our wedding is in June 2013 on a friday we have our venue the full day 9 am-11 pm  and our wedding ceremony is at 7 which will last aprox 30 min and our reception will follow with dinner and dancing . My family doesn't mind having alcohol and I would actually need a drink probably to be comfortable dancing in front of people and probably also to calm my nerves , Im pretty shy when it comes to stuff like dancing . So I was planning on serving wine and beer , no liquor though . Well we have some really close friends of the family and their family is very very strick about no drinking at all , they will not attend our wedding or reception if we decide to serve alcohol and their family is about 20 of our 80 guests . Also one of them is my wedding planner and is helping with set up and breakdown but if we serve alcohol she wont even come to help set up or break down( she is also doing it for free and we really wont have to buy any decorations) as she does parties for a living . Im stuck because I dont want to hurt their feelings but what do you do after dinner if you cant drink at all ? Will people actually dance if they are not drinking ? I want my wedding to be perfect and I dont want to wish I had done things differently . Any suggestions ?

SunriseAmber

It's your wedding - I think you should do what makes you happy. If you want alcohol past the beer and wine then do so. Don't let other people dictate what you want on YOUR day. I don't think just serving wine and beer is a problem though. I think that leaves people options to drink something and loosen people up enough.

So i think you will be fine with wine and beer but I still say do what makes you happy.

kmmssg

This ticks me off.  When I hear this my first question is do these people ever eat at Applebees, Chilis, Outback, Olive Garden, etc?  ALL of those places serve alcohol to those who wish to  drink.  Those who don't wish to, sit at their tables and enjoy their food.  Do none of the 20 people eat at those places?  If they do, they are hypocrites.

You guys have to make a value judgement here.  Are you going to let 25% of the guest list hijack your decision to serve alcohol, or is their presence so important to you guys that you are ok forgoing it?

As far as the wedding planner, I know she is part of that family, but are you telling me she does event planning for a living and won't touch a party that serves alcohol?  

If you decide you want the alcohol, find a different planner and rearrange your budget to accomodate it.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_need-help-alcohol-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:1b26033c-b90d-40d7-82c2-f32db1565fb3Post:bb3f7339-b8c8-47c1-8d5c-54ca0727f774">Re: Need Help alcohol or not ?</a>:
[QUOTE]This ticks me off.  When I hear this my first question is do these people ever eat at Applebees, Chilis, Outback, Olive Garden, etc?  ALL of those places serve alcohol to those who wish to  drink.  Those who don't wish to, sit at their tables and enjoy their food.  Do none of the 20 people eat at those places?  If they do, they are hypocrites. You guys have to make a value judgement here.  Are you going to let 25% of the guest list hijack your decision to serve alcohol, or is their presence so important to you guys that you are ok forgoing it? As far as the wedding planner, I know she is part of that family, but are you telling me she does event planning for a living and won't touch a party that serves alcohol?   If you decide you want the alcohol, find a different planner and rearrange your budget to accomodate it.
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

<div>this.</div>

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_need-help-alcohol-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:23Discussion:1b26033c-b90d-40d7-82c2-f32db1565fb3Post:bb3f7339-b8c8-47c1-8d5c-54ca0727f774">Re: Need Help alcohol or not ?</a>:
[QUOTE]This ticks me off.  When I hear this my first question is do these people ever eat at Applebees, Chilis, Outback, Olive Garden, etc?  ALL of those places serve alcohol to those who wish to  drink.  Those who don't wish to, sit at their tables and enjoy their food.  Do none of the 20 people eat at those places?  If they do, they are hypocrites. You guys have to make a value judgement here.  Are you going to let 25% of the guest list hijack your decision to serve alcohol, or is their presence so important to you guys that you are ok forgoing it? As far as the wedding planner, I know she is part of that family, but are you telling me she does event planning for a living and won't touch a party that serves alcohol?   If you decide you want the alcohol, find a different planner and rearrange your budget to accomodate it.
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

I third this.

I think these 20 or so people are kind of sh$tty.

SunriseAmber

Thats true. I didn't think of that. How is a party planner able to do her job without having to be at parties with alcohol?

Elatrella

 You know I never though of it that way, and yes  they do go to chilis , but there is a restaurant called pappas and beer and they wont eat there cause the word beer is in the name , stupid i thin really . Ive decided to serve anyway because It would be so boring with out it lol , we would just probably eat and then everyone would leave not my idea of fun especially if Im speding 10k bucks on my wedding Im going to enjoy it with or with out them ! In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_need-help-alcohol-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:1b26033c-b90d-40d7-82c2-f32db1565fb3Post:bb3f7339-b8c8-47c1-8d5c-54ca0727f774">Re: Need Help alcohol or not ?</a>:
[QUOTE]This ticks me off.  When I hear this my first question is do these people ever eat at Applebees, Chilis, Outback, Olive Garden, etc?  ALL of those places serve alcohol to those who wish to  drink.  Those who don't wish to, sit at their tables and enjoy their food.  Do none of the 20 people eat at those places?  If they do, they are hypocrites. You guys have to make a value judgement here.  Are you going to let 25% of the guest list hijack your decision to serve alcohol, or is their presence so important to you guys that you are ok forgoing it? As far as the wedding planner, I know she is part of that family, but are you telling me she does event planning for a living and won't touch a party that serves alcohol?   If you decide you want the alcohol, find a different planner and rearrange your budget to accomodate it.
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

Elatrella

 adorable  pup by the way = ) !!! I love dogs ! In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_need-help-alcohol-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:1b26033c-b90d-40d7-82c2-f32db1565fb3Post:e742e7c0-8e52-445c-bc71-b08de086f204">Re: Need Help alcohol or not ?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Need Help alcohol or not ? : this.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

Elatrella

 Thats what I was thinking Ill serve after dinner so they can at least be there for the ceremony and dinner if they still wont come then it just wasnt meant to be i guess
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_need-help-alcohol-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:1b26033c-b90d-40d7-82c2-f32db1565fb3Post:9ddcddb7-3445-46c8-91f5-ac65e6512bac">Re: Need Help alcohol or not ?</a>:
[QUOTE]You can inform the family that you are planning to serve alcohol after dinner; if they want they can exit after dinner so that they don’t be there.
Posted by boobyswope[/QUOTE]

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I find it hard to believe a professional party planner will never help with an event where alcohol is served. Either she lives in rural Utah or she probably doesn't get much business.

MelissaC315

I honestly don't understand people who do that (minus alcoholics.. obviously different story). I don't drink but I could care less if alcohol is around, I choose not to have it but certainly allow others to indulge without making a fuss. I don't understand why those 20 guests can't do the same. But regardless, it's your wedding. Go with your gut. If you would like to have it there then do it. And if you're paying your wedding planner she better be there to set up and break down. That's ridiculous