Open bar for only coctail hour???

Gismo123

We were thinking about doing an open bar for only the coctail hour...meaning that all drinks would be free the whole time we're off taking our pictures.  Then when the meal starts the bar will still be open but you have to pay.   We were also tossing up the idea of only doing free beer and wine for the entire reception but if you wanted a mixed drink having to pay for that.  Any advice?

SaraAndrew2010

You shouldn't ask your guests to open their wallets and pay for anything at your wedding.  If beer and wine is all you can afford to serve, just provide beer and wine.  If you choose to go that route, I would not have hard liquor as an option for them to buy.  I think it's best to serve what you can afford.

mgietler76

You can't flip the switch on your guests halfway thru. Either do entire night of cash bar or entire night with an open bar. I agree with PP though that if you want to serve just beer and wine that's fine, but please don't make them pay for anything else.

tldh

A guest should be able to forget their wallet and still enjoy your wedding just as much as everyone else.

Ashes_3

There is no reason why guest should have to pay to be at YOUR wedding!! If you can't afford it, then just do open bar with a signature cocktail, beer and wine!!! You definately can't expect people to start drinking and then all of a sudden be told it was 3.00. Seriously?

HaylaC

As far as i understand this is pretty poor etiquette in most places.  Where im from the etiquette surrounding  partial cash bars is totally different, so i would not be offended by this as a guest. 

If this is not commonly done in your circle of friends or your area, and your guests might be offended then i strongly suggest you just serve drinks you can afford for free.

ETA:  when i say partial cash bar i mean free drinks for cocktail hour and meal and then pay for drinks in the evening.  I would advise against having some drinks free and some you have to pay for.  All or nothing.

rknox88

Yeah, I agree with PPs- don't switch on them in the middle of the party.  If you guys can only afford beer and wine then just do that-most people will be very pleased and grateful that you are providing those things. If you are worried about not having hard alcohol can you work with your venue/bartender to have a signature cocktail or two? Maybe a "his" and hers" so guests who prefer liquor have an option?  That way you aren't shelling out big bucks for an ungodly amount of liquor but everyone still has options.

We are doing beer, wine, and 2 sig. cocktails.  Granted, we get to bring in our own alcohol, but still it is a much more cost effective way to provide alcohol for your guests.

Gismo123

I wish we could bring our own alchi lol but sadly it's not allowed....I'll have to ask about the signiture drink idea though. .  If we can do the his and her signiture drinks idea along with the wine and beer we'll probably go with that thanks for ideas.

JustKate

I attended a wedding where they had an open bar cocktail hour and cash bar reception.  It wasn't communicated ahead of time and I would rather have paid for all of my drinks than being confused and not prepared.  Didn't bring cash, no tips for the bartender, and the cash bar was literally a cash bar as in they didn't take cards.  I think whatever you can afford and decide on will be fine as long as you let your guests know ahead of time.  Put it on the rsvp cards or send a little insert or something.  Guests shouldn't expect anything at a wedding, they should be there to celebrate the marriage of their friend or family member. 

kaesha

If cash bars are a done thing in your social circle, then I don't think you'd offend anyone by having one, but think about how happy everyone would be if they didn't have to pay. Offering your guests just wine + beer is a totally acceptable and popular solution!

I Want Cake

In my area, it's not rude to have to pay for liquor or to have a free cocktail hour and cash bar after a certain time.  It does help to have a sign up at the bar, though, so people won't be surprised later on.  I prefer hard liquor myself, and have never minded having to pay for it when wine/beer were free, I'm just happy to have an option available.  I think I've only ever been to one wedding where it was all free, and it was originally supposed to be hosted for cocktail hour only.  That said, our bar will be completely hosted because we have to provide all the wine/beer/liquor/sodas/mixers ourselves. 

But please, whatever you do decide, do not make anyone pay for sodas if wine/beer is free.  That would truly be rude.  Kids and non-drinkers shouldn't have to pay a penalty for their lifestyle choice or age.

ehathewa

I'm with I Want Cake.  (also, I do want cake)

It is very common here to host alcohol through cocktail hour and dinner.  Then switch to cash bar.  Either way, you should host soda, lemonade, coffee, etc for your guests all night. 

kari829

I have been to many weddings and it may just be the area I live in but I've been to Zero weddings with a complete open bar. 2 months ago, I went to one that was open up to $700, guests had to pay about the last 30 minutes. The next week I went to one that had a cash bar except for beer was free. I'm sure this won't go over well on here, but mine won't be open either. We will have free beer & soft drinks but anything else is at the cash bar. That's how a lot of weddings around here are.

sarahbutchin

I would just have beer and wine as options, and maybe a signature cocktail or punch if you can afford that. Forget the mixed drinks all together... if people want to get drunk, they will drink whatever is around ;-)

Gismo123

On the subject of non alchi drink....all soda's, teas, coffees, and Sparkling cider are free...it's included in our package. So the kids at our wedding will have the cider to toast with when we do the speeches.

Goldlie11

Most people do drink beer and wine.  If it were me, I would serve beer and wine for free to your guests all night.  We're doing beer, wine, and a signature drink.  

I think any kind of cash bar is rude.  And switching halfway seems like a recipe for disaster.  

Kreskin79

Here's another "me too" post:

I agree that switching from open to cash at the start of dinner would be a recipe for confusion and irritation.  I strongly suggest avoiding that option.

 I find the idea of a cash bar disagreeable, but I'm from Long Island - all the venues I know anything about include full open bar for the duration of the event.  If this is unusual in your neck of the woods, your guests might be fine with it.

That said, I suspect the easiest way to please the most people is to go the beer/wine/one or two signature drinks route.  Opting for a limited (but free) bar takes the onus off guests to pay for anything, but allows you to avoid incurring the cost of a full bar.

Johnson8905

My aunt was married two years ago, and she had an open bar for one hour after the ceremony. I think communicated correctly, all goes well. Myself, along with other guests had no problem purchasing our own alcoholic drinks at the wedding after the first hour. I would just make sure it was announced and noted correctly. After all, they're not paying to be at your wedding by purchasing alcoholic drinks... they're paying to DRINK at your wedding. It's their choice.

Habs2Hart

I think it totally depend on your guests.  Some people don't find it appropriate to have an open bar at a religious wedding for example. 

I am having sig non-alc cocktails and cash bar during cocktail hour, wine on tables and cash bar during reception.  If people want to drink during cocktail hour and dance time, it's their perogative, but I've seen open bars get WAY out of control. 

As long as it is communicated well, I don't think cash bars are rude.  I don't think any guest should just expect to be able to drink all night for free.  You're going to celebrate a wedding, not to get free booze.  Just communicate it ahead of time.  As long as the option is there for people to drink if they want to, it's perfectly acceptable in "my area"

AbbeyS2011

I agree with Johnson and Habs.  I also agree with offering your guests what you can afford.

Even if I was having my reception at a venue that had a bar option, I will not be paying for any alcohol for my guests to drink.  I will be offering all non-alcoholic options - if they cannot abstain from drinking booze for a few hours to celebrate with FI and I, then they are welcome to head down the road to the bar. 

jennipea382

Maybe it's just where I'm from but every wedding I've been to has either been a full cash bar or beer/wine free until it runs out and cash for everything else. I always bring cash with me to weddings just in case. I know when I start planning my wedding, an open bar is very likely out of the picture. The way I see it, I'd rather spend more on food and other things than getting everyone drunk. If people want to drink, they're still able to. I've never minded paying for my own drinks at weddings. The only open bar wedding I've been to was a distant cousin's wedding who had a VERY nice wedding, something I could only dream of!

As for switching in the middle, make sure everyone knows the plan beforehand so your guests can be prepared to bring cash if they want to continue to drink. I agree with others when they said just springing it on them may not be a good idea.