Hi everyone. I have been looking to the knot for ideas for some time, but have not made any posts until now. I am not sure if this is the right place to be asking this, but here goes.
I am not a girl who has dreamed of a wedding my whole life; as crazy as it may sound I have always dreamed of being married and being a wife, but never really gave much thought to being a "bride". So after getting engaged, I felt I wanted a casual wedding to celebrate our love and commitment without having all the "show". But, fiance wanted a big wedding, lots of family and friends...the whole sha-bang.
So, throughout this whole process I feel like I have been forced to go along with what he wanted, what my parents wanted. Basically my opinions have been vetoed at every point along the way. My bridesmaids can't imagine that I don't care whether or not their shoes and earrings match each others. They all seem to be horrified that I am not being a total diva.
Anyway, I have worked on and off for about 10 years at a bbq restaurant in my hometown and the owners are honestly like family to me. I am as close to them as I am to my own grandparents. The bbq place itself is not elegant and fancy, but the food is amazing. It has been featured in a few Food Network specials and various magazines. And I helped cater 100's of wedding while I worked there. So, my parents have been on me non-stop that we need to choose a caterer...my fiance agreed that with my personal connection to the restaurant and how much people usually love the food (including both of us) that we should just go with that. For 4 months before I agreed to go on a date with my now fiance, he stopped by the restaurant every single day until I agreed to let him take me out. So, I called the owner yesterday and he was very excited and honored. I excitedly called my parents to tell them we had made a decision, and they are now very upset and disappointed.
I have been coaxed into having the ceremony and reception at an historic estate near where I grew up, which I will admit is very beautiful. But the look and feel of the venue really eliminated any casual feeling that the wedding may have had. They feel with such an elegant venue they can't imagine having to see me eating pork bbq at my wedding. They have set up appointments all weekend with 5 star chefs, and caters from all over the area and my mom has called me three times this morning already to ask me to please reconsider. "What will people do while you take photos if there are no hors d'oeurves being served?" she asked in horror.
Is having a barbecue restaurant cater a wedding at an elegant venue really that bad? The food is delicious and the presentation is always beautiful when catering, but there are not enough servers to have anything more than a buffet. I had obviously planned to use "real" dishes and whatnot. But now I feel like I must be crazy or just totally out of touch at this point. I appreciate any advice or criticisms.