A Nice, Polite Cake-Cutting

portialoveschris

What are the rules?

Thanks!

LauraT25

What do you mean by 'rules'?  I would imagine no cake smashing, but other than that, I'm really unsure what you mean.

mica178

We didn't smash cake.  We just fed it to each other (all my makeup remained intact), very pretty for the pictures.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_nice-polite-cake-cutting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:23Discussion:d2eadbe1-afc7-491a-87a5-3d32d205c6ecPost:0202561c-38c4-4c09-a206-2200fb5e5b60">Re: A Nice, Polite Cake-Cutting</a>:
[QUOTE]We didn't smash cake.  We just fed it to each other (all my makeup remained intact), very pretty for the pictures.
Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]

Ditto.  I told H how much I was paying to get my hair and makeup done, and that it would be wasted money if he smashed it in my face.  So we promised eachother that we would be nice, and we were.  We also fed it nice to my little cousins who ran on the dance floor when they saw us eating the cake.  Then one of my best guy friends yelled out that he wanted a piece too, so I brought a piece to him and smashed it in his face. 

bridalgal50

While most of the weddings I attend have the bride and groom feeding each other a piece of cake with their hands, for the ultimate in proper etiquette: the bride and groom should each have a fork to feed each other a small bite of cake.

Be sure your cake table has a small plate and a napkin or two!

LauraT25

Oh, we did use forks.  I didn't want to use my hands.

ehathewa

We fed each other a small piece, but used our hands. 

No smashing.  I warned H that if he smashed I would kick him in the balls.  I never decided wether or not I was joking

phillychica85

I had no desire to have cake smashed in my face, especially like someone else said, not when you've paid a ton of money on hair & makeup. My mom also abhores the "tradition" so I know she wouldn't have been a happy camper either if we had done that lol.

Although DH thought it was odd, I also had us use forks to feed each other a piece. To me, the moment and subsequent pictures looked just as lovely and memorable and for me at least, it was a ton less messy.

sb9411

Tell FI not to smash it in your face.... and he shouldn't. Use little forks and it will be just perfect :-)

kaesha

Uh, discuss it with your fiancé? Agree not to do it? Keep your promises?

tsp698

Every time I see this question I refer back to one of the more memorable weddings I have attended.

I was at a friend's wedding and she decided to smash a little cake in her DH's face, well he tried to get her back but she stopped him...until she turned around and he proceeded to scoop a handful of cake (From the actual cake, not the plate)  and fling it at her across the room...Oh yeah, we spent an hour in the bathroom trying to calm her down while washing frosting out of her hair and dress. Fun Times.

The moral of the story is, when it comes to cake smashing just say 'No'

SeptemberFall2011

A wedding I went to had a funny moment...the Bride and Groom did their cake thing with the BM and MOH nearby and instead mashed the cake into the BM and MOH!  It was pretty funny.  But they did feed each other nicely with the next slice.

AbbeyS2011

Personally, I think it is very rude to smash and rub cake into the face of the man/woman you just pledged to marry - kinda goes against the love honor and cherish vows.  At my first wedding, our minister commented on it and said he thought it was offensive also, and strongly suggested we not do it.

I will not allow FI to smash cake in my face and I will not do it to him either at our wedding.  If we have cake at our RD or a wedding shower, then that might be OK, since that will be more casual.

You need to discuss that with FI beforehand, as well as if you will intertwine hands when you are drinking champagne and all that.  Its not a bad idea to practice those things together at home to see if they will work out or if you are comfortable doing them.

HTH

frogurt814

I know I've shared this story before...

One of my cousins is a photographer.  He was working a wedding one time, and the bride smashed cake in the groom's face.  The groom was so upset by it that he punched the bride in the face, right there, in front of everyone...

kaesha

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_nice-polite-cake-cutting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:23Discussion:d2eadbe1-afc7-491a-87a5-3d32d205c6ecPost:2a4a48df-0a0c-4fa4-a132-d44f70d8870a">Re: A Nice, Polite Cake-Cutting</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: A Nice, Polite Cake-Cutting : As I've said before, I totally understand people not wanting it done to them at their wedding.  But, honestly,  judging how seriously I take my wedding vows over it is pretty asinine. So, if DH and I have slightly different sense of humor than you di, we don't really love or cherish each other?
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

I agree. What an illogical train of thought. How would a <em>mutual </em>decision to smash cake in each other's faces go against their vows to love and respect each other? I mean, if anything, that points to the ability to work together and that the couple has a compatible sense of humour.

If they one person was doing it against the other's wishes, that would be a different story. But even then, it's not about the act of cake smashing. That issue is about not respecting your partner's request. The cake is just the medium through which that scenario is played out. THe cake itself has nothing morally good or bad about it.

LauraT25

I completely agree with Stage and Kaesha here.  I might judge a little if one person clearly didn't want the cake smashed, and the other did it anyway, but if the couple wants to do it, so what?

leahkate

Cake smashing is when a couple goes from classy to trashy in my opinion. Now, a little glob of icing on the nose is one thing, but the whole smashing thing is just ridiculous to me.

[Deleted User]

The smashing thing to me is hostile - no exceptions.  It's not funny, and it's symbolic of nothing other than poor taste. 

Jennifer&Nate

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_nice-polite-cake-cutting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:d2eadbe1-afc7-491a-87a5-3d32d205c6ecPost:1f04f658-2bec-4ad1-8448-9dde377be837">Re: A Nice, Polite Cake-Cutting</a>:
[QUOTE]I know I've shared this story before... One of my cousins is a photographer.  He was working a wedding one time, and the bride smashed cake in the groom's face.  The groom was so upset by it that he punched the bride in the face, right there, in front of everyone...
Posted by frogurt814[/QUOTE]
Oh....my....gosh....
I would love to know if they're still together.

Cristine2011

I think it's a little cute when the bride and groom are a little playful at their wedding (as long as it's mutual).

I won't be surprised if this happens at our wedding, we're just that kind of couple. As for whether we're perceived as classy or trashy, our guests know who we are and shouldn't be surprised by this lol

lilcassers

LOL @ ehath about the balls. I said the same thing..

doeie04

I would be really upset if he smashed cake in my face. He knows this. I would not find it funny. That being said, I don't think it is trashy. It is a decision that should be made between the two adults getting married.