nevermind.

Talyah Mckayle

We got everything figured out. Thanks for the input.

lyndausvi

What are ceremony guests and reception guests?

First your event is during dinner, so yes you need dinner.

In my world you don't serve guests different things.  There is not such thing as some guests getting dinner and other just desert.

Talyah Mckayle

Well while my fiancé and I are taking pictures after the ceremony, that's when our close friends and family would have a dinner that's prepared for them. The reception is later and we're just doing the dessert bar. I live in a small town that does not have a catering place that I would consider.

Talyah Mckayle

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_food-for-the-reception-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:23Discussion:d651176f-7e40-4e57-bd51-190cdbe659acPost:ff38012d-37bf-4e71-a8df-deed363c8178">Re: Food for the reception guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Food for the reception guests? : There are so many wrongs here.  WTF are reception and ceremony guests?? Guests should be invited to both. And it is at meal time, which means you need to feed them.  If you cannot afford to feed them then change the time for the wedding or cut down your guest list. Why are you having your guests eat while you are taking pictures?! That makes no sense to me.
Posted by snippet17[/QUOTE]

Well like I've said....I've been to TWO weddings. The ceremony is for close family and friends ONLY. I don't want a lot of people to be at the ceremony. Money is not or has it ever been an issue. My small town does not have a catering service that I'm happy with. So I would have to have family cook a lot of food which I don't want them in the kitchen prepping food when they should be with my fiancé and I. I'm not having a cocktail hour and that's the only time we could get photos in.

lyndausvi

I'll be honestly, I've never heard of guests being served different things.

I've heard of small ceremonies with a larger reception before.  But all the guests ate the same food.    It would never occur to me to tell some guests you get beef and others you only get a cookie.  

::shrugs::

reppunzel

Talyah,

The weddings you attended that just had veggie and meat trays, were they at a mealtime?

I grew up on the classic Southern cake-nuts-and-mints receptions so to have a reception meal was a foreign concept to me.  Those weddings also occurred during the afternoon or after-dinner in the evening (7 pm or after).  Here on the Knot, many consider 7 pm to still be a mealtime and wouldn't start a non-meal event (like a wedding with dessert reception) until 8 pm. 

All that to say, if you have the reception start at 6:30, which is definitely a mealtime, you should serve all of your guests dinner.  If you want to do a dessert-only reception, move it until at least 7:30 and specify "dessert reception" on the invitation.

Are you having a small, intimate ceremony and then a larger reception?  Etiquette-wise, it's OK to invite people to the ceremony, but not the reception (never the other way around) if the ceremony is private (usually > 25 people, or just family).  Inviting 50 to the cermony and 100 to the reception, for example, becomes a tiered event.

Honestly, though, serving dinner to some of your guests, but not to all is creating a tiered event.  How would you feel if you were invited to a dessert reception and arrived early to see other guests were finishing up dinner?  Can you move your ceremony time later and just have the dessert reception for everyone?

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_food-for-the-reception-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:d651176f-7e40-4e57-bd51-190cdbe659acPost:67dd97c8-cebc-4acb-abf1-858f1246d2fa">Re: Food for the reception guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]Talyah, The weddings you attended that just had veggie and meat trays, were they at a mealtime? I grew up on the classic Southern cake-nuts-and-mints receptions so to have a reception meal was a foreign concept to me.  Those weddings also occurred during the afternoon or after-dinner in the evening (7 pm or after).  Here on the Knot, many consider 7 pm to still be a mealtime and wouldn't start a non-meal event (like a wedding with dessert reception) until 8 pm.  All that to say, if you have the reception start at 6:30, which is definitely a mealtime, you should serve all of your guests dinner.  If you want to do a dessert-only reception, move it until at least 7:30 and specify "dessert reception" on the invitation. Are you having a small, intimate ceremony and then a larger reception?  <strong>Etiquette-wise, it's OK to invite people to the ceremony, but not the reception (never the other way around)</strong> if the ceremony is private (usually > 25 people, or just family).  Inviting 50 to the cermony and 100 to the reception, for example, becomes a tiered event. Honestly, though, serving dinner to some of your guests, but not to all is creating a tiered event.  How would you feel if you were invited to a dessert reception and arrived early to see other guests were finishing up dinner?  Can you move your ceremony time later and just have the dessert reception for everyone?
Posted by reppunzel[/QUOTE]<div> </div><div> I think you have this backwards.  it's never okay to invite people to a ceremony and not the reception.  

</div>

QueerFemme

In Response to Re:Food for the reception guests?:[QUOTE]Hey all, our wedding is at 5pm and the reception is going to be around 6:30pm. Is it horrible if you do notnbsp;have anbsp;dinner fornbsp;the reception guests? I planned on having a dinnernbsp;for the ceremony guests, and then doing a dessert bar at the reception. Is that enough? The Chef from the restaurant I work at will be making the desserts so they will benbsp;professionally made. Please keep in mind that I've only been to 2 weddings, both of which had those meat and vegetable trays that you get at the store. So yeah I need some help! Thanks! Posted by Talyah Mckayle[/QUOTE]


If you want to have a small, private ceremony, that's fine. But everyone should be invited to the SAME reception. You don't serve the ceremony guests dinner and then the reception guests only dessert. That is horribly rude.

If you want to skip serving dinner, change your ceremony start time to either afternoon 2pm and have your reception end at 5/5:30ish or start your ceremony at 8pm.

What you are talking about doing is a tiered reception. It makes one tier of your guests more important than the others and is super rude and against etiquette.

reppunzel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_food-for-the-reception-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:d651176f-7e40-4e57-bd51-190cdbe659acPost:717e84a6-1210-471b-a36a-3c4b4c0140cb">Re: Food for the reception guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Food for the reception guests? :    I think you have this backwards.  it's never okay to invite people to a ceremony and not the reception.  
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

Thank you for catching that -- typing fail on my part (revised that sentence too many times).  To clarify what I meant: it's OK, under certain circumstances, to invite some guests to ceremony and reception and some to only the reception.  Never OK to invite guests to ceremony but <em>not</em>  the reception.

reppunzel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_food-for-the-reception-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:d651176f-7e40-4e57-bd51-190cdbe659acPost:5242b3b0-34e6-4227-95ad-5d3c698640a2">Re: Food for the reception guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Food for the reception guests? : Well like I've said....I've been to TWO weddings. The ceremony is for close family and friends ONLY. I don't want a lot of people to be at the ceremony. Money is not or has it ever been an issue. <strong>My small town does not have a catering service that I'm happy with.</strong> So I would have to have family cook a lot of food which I don't want them in the kitchen prepping food when they should be with my fiancé and I. I'm not having a cocktail hour and that's the only time we could get photos in.
Posted by Talyah Mckayle[/QUOTE]

Is there a restuarant that you and your FI like that may do catering on the side?  Even places that don't offer catering will sell you prepped pans of food, and sometimes will deliver them hot and ready to serve to your reception site. 

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_food-for-the-reception-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:d651176f-7e40-4e57-bd51-190cdbe659acPost:2be0571f-30a7-4e30-8a57-a196ed1ef074">Re: Food for the reception guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]Well while my fiancé and I are taking pictures after the ceremony, that's when our close friends and family would have a dinner that's prepared for them. The reception is later and we're just doing the dessert bar. I live in a small town that does not have a catering place that I would consider.
Posted by Talyah Mckayle[/QUOTE]
No, that is not okay.  You can have a private ceremony but you cannot have a tiered reception.  Everyone gets the same reception or should not be invited at all.  Further, you cannot host an event during a meal time without offering a meal.

Talyah Mckayle

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_food-for-the-reception-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:23Discussion:d651176f-7e40-4e57-bd51-190cdbe659acPost:67dd97c8-cebc-4acb-abf1-858f1246d2fa">Re: Food for the reception guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]Talyah, The weddings you attended that just had veggie and meat trays, were they at a mealtime? I grew up on the classic Southern cake-nuts-and-mints receptions so to have a reception meal was a foreign concept to me.  Those weddings also occurred during the afternoon or after-dinner in the evening (7 pm or after).  Here on the Knot, many consider 7 pm to still be a mealtime and wouldn't start a non-meal event (like a wedding with dessert reception) until 8 pm.  All that to say, if you have the reception start at 6:30, which is definitely a mealtime, you should serve all of your guests dinner.  If you want to do a dessert-only reception, move it until at least 7:30 and specify "dessert reception" on the invitation. Are you having a small, intimate ceremony and then a larger reception?  Etiquette-wise, it's OK to invite people to the ceremony, but not the reception (never the other way around) if the ceremony is private (usually /> 25 people, or just family).  Inviting 50 to the cermony and 100 to the reception, for example, becomes a tiered event. Honestly, though, serving dinner to some of your guests, but not to all is creating a tiered event.  How would you feel if you were invited to a dessert reception and arrived early to see other guests were finishing up dinner?  Can you move your ceremony time later and just have the dessert reception for everyone?
Posted by reppunzel[/QUOTE]

Thanks for the advice, we got everything figured out!! No the food wasn't served at a meal time. it was an awkward time of the day. But the weddings here are not like the ones you see on tv. there isn't a cocktail hour, dinner is not served (usually just some small refreshments) and they do a dinner for the family long before the reception starts. That's why I was so confused because I see all these ideas on tv that I like, but I've never seen it done so it's hard for me to get an idea for something when I've never seen it in person.

Talyah Mckayle

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_food-for-the-reception-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:23Discussion:d651176f-7e40-4e57-bd51-190cdbe659acPost:71ca80b6-d63a-4ee6-8329-3725c215d17d">Re: Food for the reception guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'll be honestly, I've never heard of guests being served different things. I've heard of small ceremonies with a larger reception before.  But all the guests ate the same food.    It would never occur to me to tell some guests you get beef and others you only get a cookie.   ::shrugs::
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

like I told reppunzel, its just a small family dinner that's done and over with before the reception starts. the weddings around here do not serve dinner to guests just refreshments. which was why i was doing the dessert bar. we've decided to just pick a caterer (which i still dont like the food but oh well) and still offer the dessert bar after they have had dinner.