I just need to vent for a minute

danac2010

Ok so FI has a guy he use to be pretty close with that just eloped last month.  FI hasn't really seen or heard from this guy since Super Bowl Sunday because his now wife won't let him hang out with friends. You may think I'm stretching the truth but I have seen the text when the guys are planning a guys night and he'll text saying that "M" won't let me go because she can't go.  He isn't allowed to do anything without her but she goes and has girl's night with her best friend every week and makes sure evreyone knows about it on FB.

Now that isn't my main issue.  They got engaged May 5th and eloped on June 6th.  Not a big deal but they just recently decided (like 2 weeks ago) that they wanted to have a reception type party back here so they can "celebrate" with friends and family.  FIne whatever we are going but then they registered for gifts too.  The cheapest thing on either of their registries is $29.99.  I have had a feeling all along that they wanted the party because she wanted presents but FI kept telling me no they don't even want presents.  Well then why register???  The place setting she wants is $59.99 a plate.  I told FI that we are getting them a gift card and a nice card but I wasn't going to spend $59.99 on a single plate.  I just feel like they are being gift grappy and not wanting to actually "celebrate" their marriage.  Sorry just had to get that of my chest!!!

annielouise

I will have to agree with you here about them wanting gifts.  E-loping generally entails the possibility of giving up gifts.  I find it funny how they want to celebrate with their friends and family, yet he doesn't hang out with his friends.  I would feel extremely awkward going to such an event--especially with gift in tow---unless of course that gift was a "DIY Divorce Kit"   haha, jk.. I would definitely stick to a card and a small gift card.

danac2010

Well it is her 3rd marriage in 3 years

linzcw04

Annie - lol...that's hilarious - we have said that about a couple that are our friends...the girl controls EVERYTHING and I think it is starting to get to him. He can't do many of the things that he used to with us before he married/got engaged to her.
I really feel sorry for the women that are like this...they are not comfortable and secure enough with themselves to let their FI/DH be himself. Hello....ever heard of being independent?? I think that is key before marrying someone - you have to know yourself and be secure with yourself or you won't make it together.

Personally I would feel uncomfortable with this situation too - and definitely wouldn't be buying a $60 plate for her grubby-self to eat off of!! (bit harsh - sorry) But really...you don't want to celebrate your love for each other with your close friends and family but you still want them to shell out gifts for you??? Ummm...no.

annielouise

If this is her 3rd mariage in 3 yrs, go with the DIY Divorce Kit.  At least you know it's something they will use.   Just saying.

stephl3055

If she wants a true reception, then you shouldn't have to pay for your plate.  She's just greedy.

ETA: If someone I knew pulled this, I wouldn't go and I wouldn't send a gift.  A card would be plenty.  Although I do feel bad for her husband.

Buttercup509

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_just-need-vent-minute?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:15b7277e-8e0c-43d1-9f5b-f1fca4bef16fPost:6a5b7067-a1b7-4d1e-8b55-b736983f48f3">Re: I just need to vent for a minute</a>:
[QUOTE]If she wants a true reception, then you shouldn't have to pay for your plate.  She's just greedy. ETA: If someone I knew pulled this, I wouldn't go and I wouldn't send a gift.  A card would be plenty.  Although I do feel bad for her husband.
Posted by steph13055[/QUOTE

This exactly.

Tiffany618

Wait.... you have to pay for your own plate at the reception?   I understood this as the place settings she wants as a gift are $59.99.

My half sister eloped in Hawaii and had an at home reception.  I didn't see anything wrong with that.  I don't think its gift grabby either.   It was all pre-planned though...she had showers thrown and everything beforehand, and we got our reception invitations before they even left for Hawaii.   Yours sounds a little diffferent. 

That being said, I wouldn't go to the wedding at all if you haven't seen the guy since Jan/Feb.   Sorry, but that's not a real friend.   Yes, his wife may be controlling him....but he is letting her do it.

stephl3055

Oops, I totally read that wrong.  For some reason when I saw $59.99 a plate I thought she meant you had to pay to eat the venue or restaurant.  But still, I wouldn't go and I wouldn't get a gift since you haven't seen them in 6 months.  A card is plenty.

danac2010

No the plates are on her registry.  They eloped here in town at a B&B because they wanted to get married asap and didn't have the budget for a wedding.  They decided after they were married about a month to have a "reception" and just sent out the invites to it yesterday and the "reception" is next Saturday.  I totally would have been ok with all this if they had told everyone before that they were going to elope but then have a party with everyone and not registered.  I probably would have ended up getting them something nice at that point because I didn't feel like they were only wanting the gifts. 

I have had a problem with this girl for over a year now and she is just adding to my dislike for her even more.  She has been rude, controlling, and manipulative the entire relationship.  The guy would have been one of our GM if she would have let him but she didn't want him to commit to it and then her decide he couldn't go.  She has a daughter from one of her other marriages and she told the dad that he didn't need to pay child support anymore because her husband made enough and she also quit her job.  I am all about being a stay at home mom but it bothers me that he is working 2 jobs to support her and her daughter and she wants another baby asap.  She told him if she wasn't pregnant by the end of the year she would think about divorcing him.  I feel bad for my FI because he really valued this guy's friendship up until last Oct when they started dating.  He wants to go to show his support of his friend and I think we shouldn't go so we don't support her behavior.  Oh well he already said we were going so nothing I can do now!

Jeff and Deepthi

Wow that just seems ridiculous! I don't understand how guys fall for girls like that, but hey he already married her and like some one else said he is allowing this behavior! I say just go support him. Tell him ya'll are still there for him and get them a card! There is no reason to do anything more.

She doesn't too decent to me. How rude can you really be?

annielouise

How about getting a gift that is geared more toward him?  A gift certificate for a round of golf?  Your FI can get one for himself as well so they can (hopefully) spend some much needed time together.  And if it's a gift...how could this guy not go?

Tiffany618

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_just-need-vent-minute?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:15b7277e-8e0c-43d1-9f5b-f1fca4bef16fPost:0408332c-2032-46d3-97f7-9d9f836ef376">Re: I just need to vent for a minute</a>:
[QUOTE]How about getting a gift that is geared more toward him?  A gift certificate for a round of golf?  Posted by annielouise[/QUOTE]

Hahaha, great idea!!!     Maybe get him some tools or something ... make sure it is something she won't get her hands on. Ha! 

Terriniski

I ditto Annie's suggestion!