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Ohio-Toledo

FMIL rant (kinda long sorry)

Hi ladies I usually just lurk here but I have to get this off my chest! I am from Toledo, my Fi is from Cleveland. We are getting married in Marblehead and having the reception in Sandusky at Lyman Harbor. Last January we were transferred to South Florida so I am planning from here. Now that you have the background story ok here we go.
    My FMIL is what we would consider alittle hard to swallow at times, but we do have an "alright" relationship. She called me last Saturday to let me know that she thinks traffic is going to be to bad in Sandusky next year so she went ahead and put in a call to another reception site in Catawba and they would be paying the difference. All of this with NO discussion, not asking or bringing it up but just letting me know that she would be changing Fi's and I day completely. I of course was put off and let her know that all deposits had already been paid and that the invites are being printed as we speak. She wasn't taking NO for an answer or atleast without a fight. So after about an hour long discussion I finally just said "FI and I are paying for the wedding, Lyman is special to us because we spent much of our time dating there, and there is a special line that MIL's shouldn't cross and I considered that line crossed". I felt alittle rude but there was no way I was letting her change our day.
     Finally the conversation ends with this "well I think you should consider CIC (which is one of their yacht clubs) and we said we would pay the difference so I don't see the problem, I think you're turning into a bit of a bridezilla, oh and don't tell FI about this conversation I don't want him to think we aren't getting along"
    I almost had a stroke at that last part, she honestly wants me to not tell my FI that his mom is trying to change our reception site and being totally passive aggressive!!! Of course I did tell Fi and he was angry but I made him promise not to tell his mom. Oh boy I can't believe this is already happening a year before the big day!!!!! Sorry for the lengthy message
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Re: FMIL rant (kinda long sorry)

  • edited December 2011
    Oh no, that is not cool.  Wow, I can't believe she did all that - shady!  It's good your FI is supportive of you on this (as he should be).  I'd have a hard time not calling my mom and going off on her immediately.

    Stand your ground!

    Good luck.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that. --Michael Leunig-- Planning Bio
  • edited December 2011
    AMEN SISTER!! STAND YOUR GROUND. My FMIL is not that bad but i did have to tell FI this week that she is seriously getting on my nerves so any and all phone conversation for a couple of days - HE CAN TAKE. bc im not in the mood nor give a **!@#$ what she thinks at this point. we are exactly one month away TODAY!!!  <3

    Hold true to your plans girl. And the next time she pulls the bridezilla card (which pisses me OFF to no end - excuse my language) tell her you think shes being a momzilla and to let you handel it your way. Its your wedding, do it how you want it.
    Us brides gotta stick together.
    Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust. Love still stands when all else has fallen. Corinthians 13:7-8 Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies :)
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  • skippylouwhoskippylouwho member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree that you must stand your ground with her (and I'm a MOG and a MOB) but you were upset she asked you not to tell your FI about the conversation yet after you told him about the conversation you asked your FI not to tell his mom that you'd told him.... how is that right?  It wasn't right for her to ask you to not tell but it's ok for you to ask him not to tell?
  • edited December 2011
    Ahhh...I just read this last post and I feel bad that I never replied. You're totally right, I just wanted to tell her that I spoke with him instead of her trying to put him between us. I know, I know, neither way is really right, but everything worked out ok. I finally cooled down and tried telling myself that she was "trying to help". I called her and told her that Josh and I spoke and he agreed that we should just keep it as is. It wasn't a big deal but she always plays these mind games with us. Oh well one hurdle conquered and I'm sure many to come! That's why I love the knot so I can vent here vs. going off the deep end and saying something to her I really regret!
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