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Ohio-Toledo

Kid Crisis

I am having a dilema with kids being invited to my wedding.  First of all, my reception hall is smaller and only allows 180 guests, we have an invite list of 190, of course not everyone will show but this guest list includes NO kids.  The only kids that we are having at the wedding and reception are those in the bridal party, my fiance's son, the ring bearer, and his two nieces, who are both flower girls.  One of my friends mentioned something to me about the wedding that made me feel she is bringing her kids to my wedding.  How do I tell her nicely that they is no room for kids and they are not invited without sounding mean?  No where on my invitation, am I putting "and family" on the address label or envelope and no where in my RSVP is there a food selection for the kids.  I am assuming this confusion will happen with more than one of my guests so how do I explain to them I have no room for kids and want the number of them limited to those that are in the party... TIA!!

Re: Kid Crisis

  • edited December 2011
    I'm putting on the actual invitation ADULT RECEPTION, not in caps, but it will be listed on the invitation --- up top!!! We are allowing people from out of town (which is half the list since I'm not from Toledo) to bring their kids if needed but, local/in-town people will not have the option.  I know it will cause some issues with some friends and family members who are from the area and see kids around but, I can't expect people from my hometown (who are traveling almost 550 miles) to not bring thier kids if they need to!  Thankfully many of my friends are looking forward to the weeding as a "no kid weekend getaway!!"
  • nyreknyrek member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We've had problems with this too.  We are allowing kids at ours, but mainly for out-of-towners.  FI's cousin is re-married, and we invited her, her spouse, and her 3 kids.  At Thanksgiving, her husband starts saying how he'll have his three kids over that weekend also and can't wait to bring all of them to the wedding!!!!  (That's a total of 6 kids!) 

    (We explained that we simply couldn't accomodate everyone, but hoped the 5 of them could still come and have a good time! (smile sweetly...move away quickly.)

    I like the suggestion of specifying "Adult Reception" on the invites.
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  • aholtsbaholtsb member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I have heard of people actually writing on the RSVP how many seats are being reserved for each party.  It would be worded something like...

    ____ seats have been reserved for your party

    and then you would fill in the line.  I think this makes the situation very clear and will help avoid awkward situations.

    Hope this helps!

    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    Great suggestion Amanda!!
  • edited December 2011

    People will bring others than in order to meet that number.  We invited one couple and the husband could not make it, so the wife (a friend of mine) brought her annoying daughter with her who we really did not want at our wedding.  We wrote specific names on our invitations, and if people want to bring more or others whose names are not listed, then they are being inconsiderate.  If people RSVP for more than you invited, politely tell them that your site can only accomodate so many, we had to cut back the guest list, etc.  Good luck!

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  • edited December 2011
    Thanks so much for all your suggestions.  Glad to know that I am not the only one that has come to this problem. 
  • edited December 2011
    I put Adult Reception on my invites and I still had people ask if their kids were allowed to come.  There is always somebody who is going to ask no matter how you word it!
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