How old...continued

marksle84

So now that I see a lot of you are older what is your plan for kids?

My FI started discussing this because we are getting older and fertility can become restricted with age. But we are going to be newlyweds and we love to travel, ect.. So have you discussed with your FH a timeline for TTC? How are you deciding when you are ready?

KendallandAlbert

We have agreed that we will wait until after my 30th birthday... but then, all bets are off

Stef&Bobby0612

We also agreed to wait until I'm 30. (I'm 25 now)

Tiffany618

Your going to be 27 when you get married, that's definitely not old.   Take your time and enjoy each other and travel like you want to do.

I'm almost 27 and it won't even be a discussion until after I'm 30.

NMac2010

DH and I were married when I was 25, and I thought that would be plenty of time to spend together as newlyweds and still have kids before I'm 30. However, my views have changed and now I know we won't be having that discussion until I'm at least 30. We went on our first overseas trip as a married couple this month and this is only the beginning. I can't imagine giving this up anytime soon to have kids. I wouldn't worry about your fertility. More and more women are starting after 30 these days with no problems at all. And if you do have problems, cross that bridge when you get there, don't have children early only so you can avoid a potential problem. I've never heard anyone say "Man, I wish we had kids sooner", but I know a lot of people who wish they would have waited and had more time alone as a married couple. And you can't ever get that back. My 2 cents.

angiehascandles

We are both coming into the marriage with children from pervious relationships/marriages.  Due to risk with me we will not be having any children together.  We have 3 between the 2 of us so that is plenty.

Tiffany618

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_oldcontinued?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:1ba17b70-6ad4-435a-80fe-e6f9c2ccf2f9Post:a2fe9706-151b-484f-9476-858630507d94">Re: How old...continued</a>:
[QUOTE]DH and I were married when I was 25, and I thought that would be plenty of time to spend together as newlyweds and still have kids before I'm 30. However, my views have changed and now I know we won't be having that discussion until I'm at least 30. We went on our first overseas trip as a married couple this month and this is only the beginning. I can't imagine giving this up anytime soon to have kids. I wouldn't worry about your fertility. More and more women are starting after 30 these days with no problems at all. And if you do have problems, cross that bridge when you get there, don't have children early only so you can avoid a potential problem. I've never heard anyone say "Man, I wish we had kids sooner", but I know a lot of people who wish they would have waited and had more time alone as a married couple. And you can't ever get that back. My 2 cents.
Posted by NMac2010[/QUOTE]

Yes!    Actually though, if you are genuinely concerned about it then have the conversation with your obgyn.    I've spoken with mine and there was no indication that there would be any problem with waiting until our 30's or later.

fallbride1109

My OB/GYN still asks me every year if I'm having another one.  She had all 3 of hers after 40.  I agree with Natalie 100%.  Take some time and enjoy being married for awhile.  Don't rush it.

As much as I would love to see Ben's parents become grandparents, we won't be having any for several reasons, my age being the primary one.  After 17+ years, I have zero interest in starting over and luckily Ben understands.

MarieSD

I told FI that we'll open the discussion about when we want to have kids in a couple of years. Although, our feelings about kids are still evolving. It'll depend more on when we're sure we're ready, versus a biological timeline. We also want to travel quite a bit beforehand.

My mom had me in her mid-30s, so I've never felt in too much of a rush. It's actually a huge surprise that I'm getting married at the exact same age she did (27) so I am kind of curious to see if we'll have children around the same age my parents did. But if we do it'll be a coincidence, not a plan on my part.

marksle84

We've decided to start a "BK (before kids) bucket list" so as soon as its checked off, all bets are off! We've already done a lot of overseas stuff, but we've got a big HM planned then a list of places in Europe and we want to do an African safari! I can stay busy planning trips and get a new dog to tie me over!

serlace

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_oldcontinued?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:1ba17b70-6ad4-435a-80fe-e6f9c2ccf2f9Post:2fc6144e-42f7-43a4-b4ba-00b7ab4c1cab">Re: How old...continued</a>:
[QUOTE]We've decided to start a "BK (before kids) bucket list" so as soon as its checked off, all bets are off! We've already done a lot of overseas stuff, but we've got a big HM planned then a list of places in Europe and we want to do an African safari! I can stay busy planning trips and <strong>get a new dog to tie me over</strong>!
Posted by marksle84[/QUOTE]

Get a puppy.  It will change your mind about a kid.  Haha - kind of joking.  :)

Who knows when/if we will have kids.  If we do have kids I would like to have them by age 35, but if we don't then oh well.  If for some reason I cannot have children and we want them, then we will adopt.

TJohn20

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_oldcontinued?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:1ba17b70-6ad4-435a-80fe-e6f9c2ccf2f9Post:2fc6144e-42f7-43a4-b4ba-00b7ab4c1cab">Re: How old...continued</a>:
[QUOTE]We've decided to start a "BK (before kids) bucket list" so as soon as its checked off, all bets are off! We've already done a lot of overseas stuff, but we've got a big HM planned then a list of places in Europe and we want to do an African safari! I can stay busy planning trips and get a new dog to tie me over!
Posted by marksle84[/QUOTE]

<div>I love the idea of a BK bucket list.</div>

dianaslik

I'll be 30 in a few days (eek!), and my FI is 29 -
As previously mentioned, we don't want kids (yes, at one point I thought I did, but that changed a few years ago).

But to contribute to the conversation - I just want to note that my mom had my brother at age 41 - he is now 17 (so, yeah, it was slightly less common to have a kid over 40 almost 20 yrs ago) - but nowadays, it seems more and more common (and not as risky).  My parents do look younger than a lot of other people their age, and they always joke that my brother "kept them young" (keeping up with his sports practices, playing, staying "hip," etc).  Just an example of a "later" kiddo.

jsauer74

I'm torn on this topic...due to my age and previous health issues, TTC would have to be very carefully planned, but I haven't ruled it out completely. I know that Kenneth would be an amazing dad because he has already had to fill those shoes with my daughter (her "donor" is a dead beat) and I see how he lights up around her and our 12 neices and nephews...but I'm not sure that I want to start over at this point in my life.
I did promise myself that I was entering this marriage with an open mind, so if he decides this is something that he feels he needs, I'm willing to discuss it with my OB/GYN. My OB/GYN however, would be over the moon if we decided to add a bundle of joy to our family...but for now I will be content with my/our beautiful daughter and babysitting my friend's 7 month old monster!

NMac2010

Uhhhh.... I agree about the getting a puppy thing. That's why we haven't gotten one. They're so much work and responsibility, just like a child. Good preparation for a child in some ways.

tnickel06

I'm 23 now and we don't plan to start until at least 27-28, which is still a good age to have kids.

meghanttu08

My mom had me when she was 39 (she turned 40 the same year I was born). My dad is 2 years older than her. Course, they got married at a later age too. I just want them to have a grandchild in the next 5 years or so. FI and myself are both 27 now, but I def. want to have the time for us. We have our "daughter" for now-Rosie. BK we def want to move and get a house, as well as another dog-this time a pug!:)

NathanandJordan

Well I am definitely in the minority here....

FI and I want kids soonish.  After I graduate I am going to stop taking bc and we will see what happens. My mom had us at 24 so I guess I want them early too.  FI and I have already done a lot of traveling and would rather spend our money on a baby.

bethlovesjim

I've thought about this a lot lately!
FI and I talk about it daily.
I'm 28 (turning 29 while on the honeymoon), and FI is 25, 26 in September.
I've gone all over the map.  At times I want to get preggers on the honeymoon, because I don't want to wait much longer to have children.  our friends have babies, my younger sister has a baby, and we want to give our parents grandchildren.  Among many other reasons.
BUT, I start law school in the fall, so I'm not sure if I want a child while in law school. 
If we wait till after law school I will be 33ish. I sometimes think that's the perfect age, and FI will be 30.  But then I'll be older, and will I be busy building a law career?  Or do I wait till after I establish a successful law career, but if I wait and get to that point, will I still want children over my busy career?  is that something that changes?  I mean, when I was 20 yrs old, I never wanted children.  now I'm 28 and would have one today! haha.

Well, FI and I often end the discussion with, whatever happens happens.   We wont be using birth control... we've kinda put it in Gods hands .

jenngb

If it were up to my FI then we would have kids now. I'm 29 and wont be married until I am 31. I wanted to wait until I am finished school but that would not be in the near future since I have 2 jobs & I'm only taking one class a semester. I think we'll have kids within 2 years of marriage.
I feel like I am behind since a lot of friends had there children before 25. My parents had their last child at 45 so I still have time.

tam427

Interesting discussion. I'll be 29 and FI is 31. We've said we want to wait about 3 years before we want to have kids. Luckily we've been together a while and have already done a bit of traveling, etc. It will be nice to get our home & finances in order before we bring another human into the world.  We do have a furbaby though. She's enough for now

danac2010

I'm 28 and DH is 34.  He has a little girl that will be 6 Thursday.  We don't want a huge age gap so I'm on my last month of bc and then we will see what happens.  We would have started sooner actually but I didn't want to be pregnant on our honeymoon cruise in April.  I'm excited and ready.