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Texas-Dallas and Ft. Worth

Not sure FI wants a wedding...WWYD? (long)

So, we got engaged at the end of january, and have both been super super excited about the thought of finally being married (been together 5+ years, but we're just about at the end of college, and wanted to wait until after graduation). I never thought he was super adverse to having a wedding (he doesn't like going to weddings, but really, do many boyfriends like getting draged along with people they don't know?). We had even talked about weddings, like the fact that we both thought it'd be super fun to have cousin's bbq to cater because we love it, and he never really mentioned being against one. But now...it seems like he just hates the idea. He doesn't like talking in front of people, he's not crazy about dancing, he's not religious and doesn't care for tradition. 

I'd like to think I'm pretty open to being casual about everything-we decided on Los Vaqueros, a place he and his family LOVE, and a lot of little details really don't matter to me, I'm not even sure we're going to spend more than 5k on this. My dad is covering most of the reception cost, my mom is paying for the dress, and we're already saving a good amount for a kick ass trip, but I still feel like a "bridezilla" for even making him go through with it, when I know he'd probably rather just go to a courthouse. I'm not super-girly, but I have always dreamed of having a wedding, and I know our friends and family (especially my sister and his cousins) are super excited for it. Am I a terrible person for wanting him to go through with this, or is pretty much every FI like this?

Re: Not sure FI wants a wedding...WWYD? (long)

  • Thanks for all the advice, since it's so far away I'm trying to cool it on wedding talk-I had started to go overboard in the sheer amount I was discussing it, so I'm backing off, since this really isn't going to take a super long time in planning. To me, one of the most imporant things is just to have a wedding with our familiy in friends in a simple, relaxing space, other than that, the details don't matter, so I'm trying to make sure I let him pick anything he does like.

    Los Vaqueros is an amazing spot, he loves their food and margaritas, and it's really not that expensive. He loves Dr. Who so he's going to wear a bowtie because, you know, bowties are cool, and he loves tiny cakes, and I found a recipie for mini-tiered wedding cakes that he feel inlove with pictures of, and I have a friend who specializes in large cupcake orders. I think as long as I don't overwhelm him with the details and don't go overboard on price, things are going to be ok.
  • I think that is a good approach.  He was probably just getting overwhelmed and thinking, oh great, a year of THIS?.  :)  Making him feel  like he has some say will go a long way I think.
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