RSVP advice...HELP!!

kschaben

We are (were?) planning on having an adult only wedding and addressed invites appropriately.  So far everyone we know that has children has RSVP'd and included their children's names!  I am completely freaking out and have no idea what to do. I responded to the first two by letting them know we had not intended for children to be invited due to seating/budget issues (we pay the same for a child's meal as an adult's and would have cut some people off the guest list had we intended on two people turning into 4-5 in some cases)  Now that the trend is continuing I am at a loss as to what I should do!!  (Also, we are not having children attendants to stick with the theme as FI and I are not particularly fond of children)

Anyone else experiencing this to such an extreme?!  I am currently freaking out and trying to decide what to do!

ajmom2two

I think this happens a lot and you just need to respond to each person and explain the deal. Sorry you have to deal with this hassle.

lvissers

Stick your ground and kindly notify each of your guests that your wedding is adults only due to budget and space constraints. If you have a website, maybe you can word something on there to put the word out as well. We havent had this happen yet, but it's one of my fears and hope it doesnt happen.

Nancy00714

So annoying!!!  Ditto Ivissers.  Call them up and say you can't accomodate children, unfortunately.  Tell them you are sorry.  DO NOT GIVE IN! 

ski2play

Agree with PP, stick with your original plans.

Contact each person who responds with extras and let them know that the invitation was for the individuals listed and you can not accommodate others.  You do not need to indicated space or budget issues, and/or the fact that you and your FI are not particularly fond of children (sorry I had to throw that in).  Let them know that you would love to have the invitees but if not, you understand and they will be missed.

michelle11988

It sucks but you are going to have to call each individual person about it.  I would definitely stick to your guns and say sorry but this is an adults only wedding, sorry that child 1 and child 2 can't come but I hope to see you guys still there.  I would definitely also put up on the website something in the reception part about adults only.

BeachLover2885

I agree with PP.. you will unfortunately have to tell each person that does this the same thing you told the first person you contacted.  It's amazing how audacious people are! I would never just assume my children were invited to a wedding, especially b/c it is more of an adult party.  Very sorry you have to deal wiith this! We've only had one person write in their baby's name but I let it slide b/c they are flying in from Chicago and they are family. But it's still very frustrating! 

kschaben

Thanks all, just wanted to make sure calling each person wasn't unreasonable.  I completely understand parents who bring their very small children but most of the add ins are 5-10.  I guess I've got another task on my to-do list next week

LADY324

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_rsvp-advicehelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:18d9f3ff-351e-4ca7-a055-9f5baf23eb69Post:15e7ba79-3de9-467c-bf34-c279d9298eda">Re: RSVP advice...HELP!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Stick your ground and kindly notify each of your guests that your wedding is adults only due to budget and space constraints. If you have a website, maybe you can word something on there to put the word out as well. We havent had this happen yet, but it's one of my fears and hope it doesnt happen.
Posted by lvissers[/QUOTE]

I agree with this ^

Carla1019

This is why I broke the etiquette rule and put "We look forward to see you at our Adult Reception" on our reception cards. 90% of our guests assume children are part of an invitation regardless if you put their name or not.

Sorry you have to deal with this. All you can do is explain that the wedding is adult only. You do not have to give a reason.

pillsburyaj

Stick to your guns, girl! If you already told a few that they cannot bring their kids, then you have to do the same for the others as this might bring up some unwatned drama at your wedding.  Solicit your mom or FI to help you with the phone calls. It will be awkward, but remember that it is your wedding (and your $!) 

mekiakoo

Oh no. That's not good. How did you address the invitations? Sometimes people are just stupid and can't read how they're addressed (or even understand the reasoning behind the way the invitations have been addressed).

Make a decision- either include children now or stick to your guns. But be fair to everybody too- don't just let some peole bring their children while other people cannot.

toomanychoices17

Stick to your original plan- don't give in!

kschaben

Thanks all I appreciate the advice and support!!