Bridal Shower Etiquette

KHollyTX

My Future MIL and Future SILs are wanting to throw me a BIG wedding shower where I invite every girlfriend I have.  This sounds amazing of course, but I'm not inviting every girlfriend of mine to the wedding, (I can't).  What is the etiquette?  It seems to me that it would be rude to invite people to a shower that you aren't inviting to the wedding.

I WISH I could invite everyone to the wedding, but I know that I just financially won't be able to.

Thanks for your advice!

laurencste

I personally only invited to the shower those I had invited to the wedding.  It felt weird saying "gimme a present!" to people who weren't invited to the wedding, you know?  I was glad I had too, because at the shower we talked a lot about the wedding plans, so it was nice to say "you'll see!"

crash2729

Etiquette states you should only invite those who are invited to the wedding to any pre-wedding parties.

I would give them your guest list and ask that they not invite any one else as you cannot invite them to the wedding. If they keep pushing you can always respectfully decline the shower if you think they won't honor your wishes.

fallbride1109

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_bridal-shower-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:2516f200-c6af-480a-b136-dc95b13a2d88Post:0f699358-b1d3-4c2e-9a6a-55eb61d9b1da">Re: Bridal Shower Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]Etiquette states you should only invite those who are invited to the wedding to any pre-wedding parties. Posted by crash2729[/QUOTE]

This.

courtski2004

I agree with PPs. Any guests that are invitied to and attend pre-wedding parties should also be invited to the wedding.
It will get really awkward to have non-invited guests at your shower--my friend that threw my bachelorette party invited a girlfriend of hers (who was an aquaintance of mine) that I hadn't invited to the wedding. I was in a really awkward position and felt really bad that she hadn't been invited to the wedding. I asked her not to for that reason, but she said that her friend 'didn't mind'. Just let them know that as much as you would like to invite everyone, that it is impolite and will cause you to feel uncomfortable at your own shower. Hopefully they will respect your wishes, but if they choose to still invite those guests then they are the ones in violation of the proper etiquette--not you.

KHollyTX

Thanks, Ladies!  You've confirmed my gut feeling on the matter.  Thankfully, my future in-laws don't know too many of my friends so I don't think they'll be able to go outside my wishes.  Whew!

bigbabyface

i was invited to a bridal shower, but not the wedding. it honestly...felt a little weird

professorscience

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_bridal-shower-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:2516f200-c6af-480a-b136-dc95b13a2d88Post:769ecaf8-62bf-4025-8e8b-d86136820cbb">Re: Bridal Shower Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]i was invited to a bridal shower, but not the wedding. it honestly...felt a little weird
Posted by bigbabyface[/QUOTE]

Because it's rude and gift grabby.  Who does that?