Unsupportive family members (vent)

Carla1019

FI family has noticed that I lost a little weight and instead of saying "great job" I hear, you are losing too much. Why do you want to get smaller? At first I just ignored it but it is getting to the point that someone says something EVERY time I come around.

Trust me I'm not over dieting. I'm currently 10 pounds heavier than the recommended weight for my height and age. His family comes from the mentality that bigger is better and no one should be a size 6. 

Just curious if anyone else is experiencing unsupportive family and/or friends?

rlavach

I've never had negativity in that sense. The only negativity is FI trying to make me eat pastries & other junk food with him. That SO does not help the diet. 

If they have the very old mentality that 'bigger is better' then explaining the health benefits of losing weight may not do anything. Honestly, I'd just ignore them. Most likely, they are more jealous of the fact that you have the will power & determination to change your life for the better & want to bring you down. Show them you're stronger! 

anna.oskar

Nope.  I haven't experienced anything like it and i'm sorry you are.  (NO ONE in my family has noticed any weight loss) If you are indeed well within the healthy weight zone for your body, I would just reply with something along the lines of  (take your pick depending on how rude you'd like to be):

*"i worked hard to get to this weight and my doctor even said it would be okay for me to lose a bit more"

*"Actually, I'm perfectly normal but perhaps you might want to review what the current medical standards are for obesity yourself?"

*"Just trying to not die young from diabetes, heart disease, or other weight related ailment so I can be with FI/H as long as possible

*"Shut up and go eat some more cookies"

Carla1019

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_getting-shape_unsupportive-family-members-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:238Discussion:4f28a11e-03c8-4ddd-ad37-878129afc4a6Post:22d409a1-b569-4687-bdd8-920c45d78555">Re: Unsupportive family members (vent)</a>:
[QUOTE]Nope.  I haven't experienced anything like it and i'm sorry you are.  (NO ONE in my family has noticed any weight loss) If you are indeed well within the healthy weight zone for your body, I would just reply with something along the lines of  (take your pick depending on how rude you'd like to be): *"i worked hard to get to this weight and my doctor even said it would be okay for me to lose a bit more" <strong>*"Actually, I'm perfectly normal but perhaps you might want to review what the current medical standards are for obesity yourself?" </strong>*"Just trying to not die young from diabetes, heart disease, or other weight related ailment so I can be with FI/H as long as possible *"Shut up and go eat some more cookies"
Posted by anna.oskar[/QUOTE]

These are great, LOL!   I wish I could say the bold statement.

anna.oskar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_getting-shape_unsupportive-family-members-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:238Discussion:4f28a11e-03c8-4ddd-ad37-878129afc4a6Post:c6870a60-90e5-45b1-8632-f874ea798d46">Re: Unsupportive family members (vent)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unsupportive family members (vent) : These are great, LOL!   I wish I could say the bold statement.
Posted by Carla1019[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Just say that one in your head.  Probably wise.  :)</div>

Squishy85

So sorry you feel you have to justify your actions! When I was 20 I decided to work towards losing the 20lbs I had gained after HS. I was about 180 and once I got down to 165 all my ex could talk about is how small my butt and breasts were (my size "D" breasts??!!) It was absurd and I pretty much just ingored the comment. IMO it was a mistake to ignore it bc then he never knew his comments were not okay with me. And depending on what I was wearing or where my self esteem was that day they would pop back in my head and just bring me down that he was not happy with my body. I would definatly let them know it is your body and you want to be healthier! Good Luck!

lls31

One of my biggest pet peeves is when I talk to friends about working out and they say, "Oh please, like you need to work out!"  Yes, I am thin.  But I am thin BECAUSE I work out and eat healthy.  It really frustrates me when people think that I (or anyone for that matter) can maintain my weight by sitting on the couch all day and eating fast food.  

Sorry for my random vent.  

eirwyn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_getting-shape_unsupportive-family-members-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:238Discussion:4f28a11e-03c8-4ddd-ad37-878129afc4a6Post:8a5b2e0d-19ae-419b-83d9-1e50a595f43d">Re: Unsupportive family members (vent)</a>:
[QUOTE]One of my biggest pet peeves is when I talk to friends about working out and they say, "Oh please, like you need to work out!"  Yes, I am thin.  But I am thin BECAUSE I work out and eat healthy.  It really frustrates me when people think that I (or anyone for that matter) can maintain my weight by sitting on the couch all day and eating fast food.   Sorry for my random vent.  
Posted by lls31[/QUOTE]

I understand. Some of my thin friends get teased because they run and do Zumba. I don't get it. It's good to get *some* exercise every day to stay healthy, no matter what you weigh. I don't think people understand the difference between losing weight and maintaining. It's not like you get down to 135 pounds and then magically burn off everything you eat. Even then, I'd still walk or lift weights every day because it's so good for stress relief.

Maggie0829

If you are happy with yourself and the fact that you are leading a healthy lifestyle I would just ignore their comments...but if they do start to irritate the heck out of you I would simply shove a cupcake in their big mouths to mute their nagging.

firsttimersluck

Last night my H realized my butt shrank.. he's not pleased. 

reggiesmommy

I'm sorry your family is unsupportive.  Kudos to you for having the strength to make yourself healthier, stronger, and happier!  

Sarah0335

I understand what you are going through.  FI will always tells me he likes me the way I am and that I don't need to lose weight.  This would sound nice except then when I talk about my goals he looks disgusted and says I wouldn't look good that small.  I am not trying to be overly thin, but just healthy and fit for my height.

It is hard when you are trying hard to change and happy with the results and other people just don't understand.  I just say that is great you think that, but I disagree and it is my body and my choice.

erbear84

I get this ALL the time from everyone when I say I'm working out/dieting.  I'm about 7lbs heavier than my lowest weight and that's down from the 15 I was back in December.  I just want to feel my absolute best at my wedding...and to me, I'm not going to feel that way without working out and eating sensibly.

Carla1019

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_getting-shape_unsupportive-family-members-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:238Discussion:4f28a11e-03c8-4ddd-ad37-878129afc4a6Post:a7579c52-7d81-48ee-a520-e51b6b8ad74f">Re: Unsupportive family members (vent)</a>:
[QUOTE]I completely understand what you are saying. I'm very careful about working out and eating well, and my family always responds with 'OMG you are so skinny! Why are you working out?" or "You don't even have a butt!" or whatever. It's frustrating. My family is also 'fuller' (we are Puerto Rican) so I feel like there is negativity surrounding being thin. And I don't think I'm that small either! Just the other day, my sister sat me down and told me she was 'concerned' about my working out and 'dieting'. I got so annoyed. <strong>Just because I set a high standard for myself doesn't mean that I'm 'succumbing to media's idealization of women" (barf) or that I have a eating disorder.
</strong>Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]

Yes, This! I completely feel like they are looking at me like I'm starving myself. I showed FMIL a picture of my wedidng dress (dress was on a model), and she said, "i hope your not trying to get that thin?" Didn't say one word about liking or not liking the dress.