Plus size brides: does your FI know how much you weigh?

misschristinec

I may have to disclose to my FI how much I weigh, and it's certainly not pretty.  Most people would never guess my weight by looking at me, but it's still a scary #. 

I'm just wondering how many of you have told your husband how much you weigh?

MyWedding13

Why would you have to disclose it to him?

misschristinec

Ugh.. I almost lost it today on the phone. Thank God I have my own office, and can shut the door. 
We are going to Hawaii on our HM and my BMs got us a helicopter ride formy bridal shower present (they are expensive).

Anyway, they need your weight information to balance the helicopter. He called to make a reservation, and asked me to all to give me weight. I was happy when they told me that it's prviate and they also weigh you the day-of the ride.

I told them my weight and the woman put me on hold for a second and then told me that our combined weight was over their limit for a couple and we would have to buy an extra seat (an extra $235)  I almost died.

I'm very mortified.. and not sure what to do.

MyWedding13

That is really crappy!!!! Are the two of you close to meeting the combined weight or is it really far off? If you are close, maybe the two of you could try to lose a couple of pounds before then? I wouldn't want to miss out on the helicopter ride! If it were me, I would try to lose weight before then because I wouldn't want to pay for an extra seat. This is such a difficult and sensitive situation! I am sorry you have to go through this.

misschristinec

thanks for your sensitivity.  I'm telling you, I have never felt so awful in my life.  I could barely speak to the woman when she told me about that.  What annoys me the most is that a single person weight limit is 250 lbs, but a couple's limit is 400 lbs. 
What if 4 random people took a helicopter ride??  (it can only hold 4 passengers)

Do I secretly spend the extra money and somehow many sure FI never finds out? ugh.. my stomach is in knots

sister2groom

As I understand the situation you'd be paying them the price of a couple + a single. Whatever the surcharge it should not be more than if you had booked you and your husband separately. So if you're both under the individual limits then I would make sure they don't get more than twice the price of single tickets (and you would just have to make up difference betwen the couple and two single rates.)

cmcd16

That's ridiculous.  I'm so sorry.  How humiliating.  Is there a price reduction for couples?  I think it's absurd that you would have to pay an extra $235 for the two of you to go on the helicopter ride.  I would be tempted to call the helicopter company back and ask them about their price rates for single passengers.  I would also be tempted to call around to other helicopter companies and ask their policies.  Then I'd be taking my business elsewhere.

crnota

We did a helicopter ride in Hawaii on our honeymoon this summer, and there was never any mention of weight when we booked, or the day of the ride. Neither of us are overweight so it would not have been an issue, but the company wouldn't have known that when we booked over the phone. So obviously not all companies do this! I would look into other companies and try to get a refund from the old company. Or tell the old company you want to do that, and see what they say.

I think the company we used was Blue Hawaiian on Maui.

kayakrunhike

In regards to your original question, yes, my DH knows how much I weigh.  Keeping up a healthy lifestyle is important to us, and he's never given me grief for my weight.  I actually weigh more than him, by 30 lbs, bc he is a XC runner (with a XC runners metabolism) and shorter. 

Anyway, about the helicopter ride.  See if you can book two single seats, rather than as a couple.  Truthfully, if you can get a full refund, I would take your business elsewhere.  That is truly mortifying, and since a PP already said other companies don't require your weight measurement, I'd try to find one those to take your trip on instead. 

raynes

Ditto sister2groom and kayak, either pay as singles or go with someone else.  Their math is just illogical.

And to answer your question, it was a loooooong time before I told my H my weight.  One day I just sorta fessed up to it.  I always make it a goal to weigh less tham him, but it's close.

3peg

To answer your original question, definitly not! I'm similar to you in that I carry my weight well I guess, you'd never guess the number by looking at me. I fully agree with how you feel about it, I know hom hearing the number won't actually change my appearance... but just the thought of it... ugh. I feel your pain!

LittleKatie13

To the original question- Yes DH knows how much I weigh and I know how much he weighs.  We're honest about everything-no secrets. 

As for the helicopter issue, when I went on a helicopter with my family in Alaska they did the same thing.  They do have to balance the helicopter and if they're not asking they're probably just looking at you and estimating.  They have weight limits.  I agree that it's ridiculous that a couple has a lower weight limit than two singles, so I would call and ask and otherwise use a different place, but I think weight will still come into play, unfortunately.

missfarar

I have been on a healthy lifestyle program for the past 6 weeks, and everytime I go in for a check-up appointment (every week or 2), I tell him how much I've lost. Finally, last week he asked where I was really at...and I told him. I felt proud to tell him my weight because it wasn't what I started at.

As for the helicopter thing...that sucks! I would definitely check to see if it would be cheaper to book individually than to do a couple+a seat. I would have to be lingering around 100 pounds for the two of us to fit in the weight limit (FI is over 6'6)...nuts.

FavoriteOne

To answer your original question, YES my DH knows how much I weigh and he did know before we were married. It took me a while to tell him, but once we got engaged, I figured if I was marrying him then he had the right to know everything about me. I don't know why you would keep this from him.

TerriandJoe

I'm so sorry that you are going through this!

But I think I understand their weight limit thing.

A couple that's friends of my parents went on a helicopter ride also on their honeymoon in Hawaii. This was a couple of years ago and the one thing that I remember not being fair about it was that they couldn't sit together due to him being heavy.

I don't remember the layout of how their ride was, but the fact they couldn't sit together bothered me. It was their honeymoon after all!

So the helicopter ride your BM's plan to buy you probably holds 400pounds on each side. That's why that's the couple limit.

They probably figure they won't have a flight with four people who weigh 250 pounds each. More than likely, since they are "individuals" they would split them up on different flights. And that's if four people all called for a tuesday morning helicopter ride. and they all weighed 250 lbs each or more. More than likely the 250 figure allows for a lot of people to fall under that limit.

So the couple rule probably is because they plan to have you sit next to each other. Or in front of one another on the same side of the plane.

Not sure if that helps! But hope so!

And DH knows now what I weigh. I was so happy with how I looked at the wedding, I told him. So now when I say I've gained 14 pounds since the wedding, he delights himself in adding in front of me. And tells me how far apart we are. Now I wish I never said anything!

lizzybit1975

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_getting-shape_plus-size-brides-fi-much-weigh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:238Discussion:79da5adf-8efe-4c22-8776-4d0d01ca76bdPost:198f02b7-d111-4b20-af51-bbe1df55f4b5">Re: Plus size brides: does your FI know how much you weigh?</a>:
[QUOTE]That's ridiculous.  I'm so sorry.  How humiliating.  Is there a price reduction for couples?  I think it's absurd that you would have to pay an extra $235 for the two of you to go on the helicopter ride.  I would be tempted to call the helicopter company back and ask them about their price rates for single passengers.  I would also be tempted to call around to other helicopter companies and ask their policies.  Then I'd be taking my business elsewhere.
Posted by cmcd16[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree!  That sounds ridiculous!  I have not had to disclose the actual number but would be mortified if I did because I weigh more than him!</div>

probablykate

Weight is just a number--knowing the number doesn't change how you look or who you are--so you should not feel embarrassed to tell him your weight! 

wheresmypopcorn

My FI doesn't know how much I weight and we have been together for 12 years.  Its not a question he ever asked so not something I ever told him.  He knows what I look like, though, but I doubt he would ever guess because most of it is in my hips and legs.  When I told him I wanted to lose weight for the wedding, he said he likes me just the way I am which was nice to hear but he likes big girls and I was a lot smaller 12 years ago.  I "think" it's not so much an issue of the total weight but an issue of balancing.  I think it can be handled in a delicate manner on the companies end.  I went to Belize in May and took a small plane from the main airport to the Island where we stayed and the pilot was moving people all over the place trying to balance out the plane.  I think it's incredibly rude to have to pay for a whole extra ticket just because they can charge that. 

Another time you might have to disclose weight to him would be if (when) you apply for life insurance.  Just an FYI. 

Don't let it get you down, though!  Find a helicoptor ride you will enjoy from a company that will be friendlier.

Enami

Of course he knows, he's such a nosy person! But I'm ok with that. He actually started dating me when I was at my highest weight ever, and we decided to try and lose our freshman "15" (yeah, 15 every year of college) together. There's about an inch/inch and half difference in our heights, and we have similar body builds, and weighed within 3 pounds of each other in June, which was my weight peak. So, yeah, he knows.

misschristinec

thank you all for the feedback! I'm making the dreaded call backt to the helicopter company today. I will be asking 1) if we can book separately 2) if we can I am going to see if she can assure me buying an extra seat will not be revealed to my FI. I guess I'm gonna buy the extra seat, -I will not relay any of this nonsense to my FI, he will go on not-knowing my weight if I did tell him my weight, I know he would not look at me differently, or love me less, but have you ever had someone tell you something shocking and then only be able to think of what they told you when you see them?

wheresmypopcorn

I understand.  Nobody but the doctor knows how much I actually weigh.  My FI knows what size I wear, though, since he has bought clothes for me before. I don't thnk he knows what that means - women's sizes don't mean much to him.  Once, he bought me a belt and the lady in the store told him he would do better going to a men's department.  That was kind of embarrassing...  but 'teva!

I Want Cake

My FI doesn't know what I weigh, and I really don't think it's any of his business.  He knows what size I wear, since there are always tags on the floor from when I buy new clothes, though I'm not sure it means much to him.  If he really wanted to know, he could look on our programmable scale, but he better not, or at least not tell me if he did!