Tell me what you think...

NMac2010

Of my vows......

Did I leave anything out? Is it too much? Need some feedback from non-biased people

Our ceremony is pretty short to begin with, so I don't think time is an issue. But I doubt it'll take me more than a few minutes to read them-given I'll be bawling and purposely trying to speak slowly because I have a tendency to speak too fast in front of people. I was crying my eyes out just writing them!

Baby, I never really believed in soul mates until you came along. I never believed there was just one person out there meant for me. But now I have faith in soul mates, because I’ve found mine in you. 

 I never knew two people could be so imperfect as individuals, but fit so perfectly together.  You accept me for all that I am, all that I want to be, and all that I am not.You accept my flaws and love me despite them, sometimes more than I am accepting of myself. You don’t ever ask me to change, or be someone that I’m not. I can be 100% myself, no makeup, right out of bed, and you somehow still make me feel beautiful.You love me like I’ve never been loved before, and show me what it means to feel protected, cared for, adored, and loved always.  

I’ve never loved someone despite all their flaws, and been in love so completely before.There isn’t one thing I would change about you, because your flaws make you, you. And that’s the man that I love, and that is becoming my husband today. I’ve never loved someone who can make me so angry, and then make me laugh when all I want to do is punch you in the face!   

I’ve never enjoyed life with someone as much as I enjoy it with you. Heck, I never knew I could still ride a bike until you came along! (Inside joke, for those who are proofing this-only family and friends will get it). We have shared so many fun experiences over the last year and ½, I can’t even imagine what the rest of our lives will hold. You make me laugh, when all I want to do is cry. Please don’t ever lose that about yourself. You make me try new things, and step outside my comfort zone.You make me feel like I can do anything in this world, because I have your constant support.You push me to reach for my dreams no matter how far off they seem.You have a way of making me feel that we are a constant united front, and as a team, we can get through anything together. 


 Jason,
I promise for the rest of my life, to wake up every day, and do everything in my power to make you as happy as you make me. I promise to remember that it’s not about the superficial things like money, gifts, and “things”.I promise to do my best to remember that it’s about our marriage, our family, and this bond we have created, and are solidifying today. I can only hope that 30 years from now, all you have to do is give me that dimpled smile of yours and I still melt, just like I do today. I promise to always be faithful to you and only you.I promise to love, and support you, and always push you to achieve your goals and dreams. I promise to take care of you, like you take such amazing care of me.You’re my best friend, the love of my life, and now my husband.I cannot wait to see where this journey of life takes us together!
I love you!

cfibelkorn

I think it sounds really sweet...although pretty long Im not sure you will want to talk for that long (especially if you get nervous talking in front of people) but if you dont mind then yes they sound beautiful!

NMac2010

Well they go alot quicker when you're saying them outloud, than when you're reading them. And I don't get nervous talking in front of people, I used to purposely take public speaking classes in college so I could get the chance to get up in front of people! haha..

cfibelkorn

Then definately go for it they sound perfect and personable

I always love it when a bride and groom have vows that mean something special to them or have inside jokes in them

NMac2010

Well thanks Because after all...it is about us! I just hope I can hold it together and not be a crying mess!

cfibelkorn

That is why I chose not to write my own vows....I am a mess at weddings so I could only imagine my own...there would be no possible way I could even make it through my own vows nor would anyone be able to understand them hahaha so I wish you luck girl!

lacy1603

They sound really good!  I got goosebumps!

tam427

I like it, but personally think it's a little long. (for reference, I'm a copywriter). My concerns are that you may lose people and, if you haven't seen his vows, think of how he'll feel if he only has 4 lines and you have a novel. I think this would be better served in a nice personal letter that you give him either as or in addition to a wedding gift. Maybe give it to him right after the ceremony and say something like,  "This is everything I wanted to say in front of our friends & family, but I though it would mean more if you it was a personal gift only for you" ..... but otherwise the words are beautiful :-)

NMac2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_tell-think?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:30105679-0469-4dc3-a4bc-81d0d7290260Post:13693e66-599d-4568-a907-4ff5f1b68dc6">Re: Tell me what you think...</a>:
[QUOTE]I like it, but personally think it's a little long. (for reference, I'm a copywriter). My concerns are that you may lose people and, if you haven't seen his vows, think of how he'll feel if he only has 4 lines and you have a novel. :) I think this would be better served in a nice personal letter that you give him either as or in addition to a wedding gift. Maybe give it to him right after the ceremony and say something like,  "This is everything I wanted to say in front of our friends & family, but I though it would mean more if you it was a personal gift only for you" ..... but otherwise the words are beautiful :-)
Posted by tam427[/QUOTE]


Thanks for the feedback, I'll take that into consideration.

And, for a sidenote, he planned on getting his proofed too, by someone who is also reading mine. So they will be able to tell us both, "You need to write more, you need to shorten yours to match his a little"  etc. :) Got that part covered.

Terriniski

I think that's great.  Since you asked for comments, here are my (somewhat nit-picky) comments, and you can make of them what you will.

- I'd suggest taking out the reference to wanting to punch him in the face, well - depending on the overall feel of your wedding.  If you have a very casual feel to the wedding, then this can seem light and fun.  If your wedding is not casual, then this seems a bit too casual to mention at such a significant and important occasion.  (And personally, I have aunts and other family members that would be shocked at any public mention of a woman wanting to punch someone.)

- I'd suggest taking out the line beginning "I can only hope that..."  I think part of the appeal of that whole section is that every sentence begins with "I promise" and this sentence doesn't start that way.  Also, it's a little oddly phrased - as in, you shouldn't have to *hope* that 30 years from now his smile melts your heart, on your wedding day you should be convinced that his smile will melt your heart every day for the rest of your lives.

- Like others have suggested, you might want to check with your FI about length.  If his are short, I think you could easily do a "summary" version of what you have here and then hand him the full copy sometime later.

NMac2010

Terri-

All good points!

About the punching in the face thing, we are having a very casual wedding, and all our crowd would laugh at that, trust me

And I guess the line about hoping, comes from me being a realist, and knowing that not everything always works out the way we want it to. We go into marriage taking a huge risk, hoping it works out, and as stats show us over 50% don't. I guess I felt like if I said "I know I'll feel this way in 30 years" I would sound a little naive. Because I don't KNOW I'll feel any way in 30 years. I may not even be alive in 30 years. Get where I'm coming from?

And yes, someone will be proofing FI's and my vows for length. He actually asked to read mine, but I'm not so sure about that.

Thanks again!

Terriniski

Oh, I totally know where you're coming from - I'm the exact same way, and my line of work has taught me to be brutally accurate in my choice of wording (avoiding generalizations, omitting "always" and "never", etc.).  But an important question might be whether your FI is the same way.  My husband is the opposite of me, and I think if I declared in public "I hope this works out," he would be a bit wounded.  (As it is, his expression drops just a bit when he says something really romantic and I respond with something realistically romantic.  I've found it best to keep things as romantic as I feel comfortably expressing without using any qualifiers that could be a bit of a downer.)

It's possible your FI will be just as overwhelmed as you on the day-of and not really hear everything you're saying, but it's also possible his mom or someone else might pick up on that tone difference.  I think that people, like us, who are very realistic and detail-oriented in their choice of words can easily gloss over someone who is being naively romantic, but people that are naively romantic might see that sentiment as a bit of a buzz kill.  Again, it's just one sentence, so nothing big.    Whatever you think is best given you and your FI and your ceremony is what you should go with

NMac2010

Well at least you know where I'm coming from, and I'm in good company!

I would hope if I end up saying those vows, by the end of them, people will probably be just waiting for it to be over and not really paying attention to what I'm saying anymore besides FI! hahah...

But you know, 3 weeks from the wedding, I'm to the point where I'm sick of pleasing everyone else, and I'm ready to just do something for FI and I and say "you know what, this is FI and I's ceremony, that we will remember for the rest of our lives, if it's a FEW minutes too long for you, suck it up, it's 20-30 minutes of your whole life." 

Our ceremony will still be a lot shorter than a Cathlolic Mass type ceremony, so I think we are ok!

This is completely personal preference, but when I go to a wedding, I would rather hear a few minutes of someone's personally written vows, than standing up, and sitting down, and standing up and praying a bunch of times. There's nothing wrong with that, and I put my personal feelings aside when I go to a wedding like that and enjoy the day for the couple, but I would hope people could put their own personal preferences aside on our wedding day as well.

::steps off soap box::

No idea how I got off on such a tangent!

Mariah&Steven

I'm going to be completely honest and I hope I don't offend you, but you DID ask for opinions and whether or not this was too long....

I think these are too long.  I just timed myself reading this out loud, taking appropriate pauses where needed.  It took me 2 1/2 minutes.  If you start crying your vows could easily take you 5 minutes.  Just saying.  It

I agree with PP, most of this you should write to him in a letter.  Honestly,the first and last paragraph is all I think you should say for your vows.  It pretty much sums up the whole thing you've written above.  I do think the "I can only hope" part is odd, but I can see where you're coming from on being a "realist"....that's probably another sentence I would put in a letter to him on your wedding day, not in your actual vows.

I wouldn't say the part about wanting to punch him in the face at your wedding.  But that's just me.  That's something I'd say at a much more casual setting-not at a wedding.

Like I said, I'm not trying to offend you, so please don't take this the wrong way. I think what you wrote was beautiful...but lengthy for vows.  And I truly think it would be perfect if your vows consisted of the first and last paragraph and leave out all the stuff in the middle and write that extra stuff in a letter to your husband on your wedding day.   I'm not trying to be rude, just doing what you asked in your post.

BanannaP

I agree with Mariah that the first and last paragraph pretty much sum it up. If you do the whole thing as a letter, you could have it printed on really nice paper to put in a frame or in your photo album. Then, no matter what you say in the ceremony, you have a lasting record of your own sort of "private" vows.

NMac2010

Mariah,

You didn't offend me.

And I took out the part out about punching FI It was a joke, completely, and although people would laugh, I am sure there are always a few who would take it too seriously so I just took it out.

I appreciate the feedback!

NMac2010

Ok, so after looking at them, I think y'all are right.

What about keeping the first 2 little paragraphs, and the last one and taking out the middle two? Do you think that would help?

And I like the idea of taking the paragraphs I take out, and putting those in a letter to give him before the wedding.

Terriniski

I think that length would be perfect!