XP: Critique my vows/personal statement

pennstated912

This is also posted on my September 2009 board.We are doing "personal statements" before our traditional wedding vows (wedding is 1 week from today!) and I don't know how to end them or if I should change some things around. Advice?:D,Today, I am committing myself to you as not only your wife, but also as your best friend throughout life. I love you - for who you are and you for who I am when I am with you. Together, I believe that we can accomplish anything. I pledge to always be there to encourage and support your goals, to laugh with you and to work together through any challenge this adventure may bring us. I commit to you my honesty, my devotion, and willingness to compromise....How do I end this? Is there anything that sounds awkward and I should change?

emmayer

I like it a lot (I'm a 9-19) too.. so working on mine also. I do think it needs something to tie it all together. Example:willingness to compromise.... I am looking forward to watching out life unfold and our dreams come true one by one. So today, when I look into your eyes and speak my vows, know that I want, more than anything, to be your wife and love you for the rest of my life! Best wishes to you on your big day!!!

mdg713

Hi The only thing I noticed that didn't flow right is this line: I love you - for who you are and you for who I am when I am with you. It should read (I think) I love you - for who you are and for who I am when I am with you. There was an extra "for" in there. Here are my vows... My love for you is deep and pure, simple, yet complicated. My love for you is unconditional, absolute and everlasting. You are my light, my day, my night, my love, my world. You are my everything.   Love understands, no matter what. Love never, ever gives up hope. Love is never having enough time in the day. Love is light, even in the darkest of moments.   I promise to cherish, adore and love you. I promise to fill you with warmth and love. I promise to protect you. I promise to always be around. I promise to stand behind you.   I promise to give you the best of myself And to ask of you no more than you can give. I promise to respect you as your own person. I promise to keep myself open to you. I promise to grow with you and keep our relationship alive. I promise to love you, in the only way I know how, completely and without end.   I love you and I’m in this forever. Hope that gives you some inspiration!!

Pwitty2005

I know what you mean, but I would reconsider the phrase "willingness to compromise". I'm sure you mean collaborate, working together, considering one another's feelings, but it sounds more like you're settling and willing to accept something you dont really want (and that's the last thing you want guests to whisper about. Plus you already brought up working together through challenges. Other than that, I like it. If you feel like it needs a closing, then I would consider taking the first line out and putting it at the end: D, I love you - for who you are and you for who I am when I am with you. Together, I believe that we can accomplish anything. I pledge to always be there to encourage and support your goals, to laugh with you and to work together through any challenge this adventure may bring us. I commit to you my honesty, my devotion, and (something other than compromise). Today, I am committing myself to you as not only your wife, but also as your best friend throughout life.

hillaryeggert

It's nice so far!For our 8/23 wedding, my hubby and I wrote our vows as well.  What worked really well for us was coming up with the same "stems" to use and ending the phrases ourselves.Ours:The moment I met you, I knew...I knew I loved you when...What I miss most when we're apart is...I want to marry you because....What I look forward to most is...I think yours lends itself to this too.  It just gives it a more cohesive feel, I think, when there is a bit of a format you both follow.  (I happen to think the last two items are good ones to touch on whether you follow this format or not and could help you wrap yours up.)Good luck!

hillaryeggert

Oh, and then we ended with the following:Him: I love you, name, and I am yours forever.Me: I love you, name, and I am forever yours.How did I forget?  That was my favorite part!

leah.s

mdg713, you are a year and 10 months from your wedding and already have your vows written?!  I am shocked and impressed (and inspired!)They are beautiful!

Zapata~Wedding

for all the days of our lives.

TopazAngel

I think 'work together through any challenge' covers the 'willingness to compromise' idea, so maybe just skip the latter. As was suggested, 'compromise' does sound like 'settling' even though I'm sure that's not how you meant it.

That and editing out the extra words in 'for who you are and who I am when I'm with you' should just about do it.

I think it's beautiful. Good job.