This is so stressful! Please help me...

CCBelATC

HI Ladies,

FI and I had a phone convo with our officiate this AM to talk about our ceremony. We're having a casual service with a religious tone.

She provided many examples of vows, ring vows, and other readings. We picked readings and a scripture reading, but I'm having such a huge mental block with the vows part. I get the personal vows, but I'm not getting the ring vows.

No matter what, I thought FI and I would say the same things to each other as we put the rings on each other's fingers...thus, I thought our ring vows would be the same. Officiate tells me this is not the case, that the personal vows are how I feel about marrying him, and the ring vows are what the ring symbolizes. FI seems excited to have such personalized vows.

What am I missing?! Are the ring vows not what you say as you're exchanging rings?? Are any of you using different ring vows for each other? Any explanations, advice, or examples would be greatly appreciated!!!!!!

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You can look in my bio under "Ceremony" for what we're doing. I basically looked at other examples online and that my officiant sent me and used my own words, with FH's input. We have three parts of the vows:

1. He asks each of us the same question, and we say "I do."

2. We're writing our own separate vows and keeping them a secret from each other until that day.

3. We repeat after him as we put the ring on each others' fingers (we're both saying the same thing). This is what I consider the "ring vows."

Hopefully that will make sense if you look at my bio

CCBelATC

Thanks!!!! That does make more sense to me. I'm glad you think what's being said while the rings are being exchanged is the actual ring vow. I thought I had lost my mind, but this is much clearer now. Thank you again!!!