We are writing our own wedding vows and are not sure how long they should take. We've both only been to traditional weddings. The entire ceremony only has 30 minutes scheduled (beach wedding).
Is two minutes each too long? That is more than 10% of the ceremony. Do you think people would be bored? I have a rough draft that is 3/4 of a page and it takes about 90 seconds to read aloud (without crying). Too long? Thoughts anyone?
Re: How long should vows take?
How long can you stand? Sure its a nice story but do you really care after 45? Or a minute?
I don't know how long myself, just trying to think of ways to put things in perspectives. 45seconds sounds short but there is a lot of time in there listening to someone talk. Some guests will want to hear 5 minutes of mushing and others just want to get to the freaking cake. So its all perspective I think.
I would think past 2 minutes each is pushing it though, because that's 4 minutes of talk, plus round to 5 with crying, coughing, throat clearing and akward shuffling. That's a long time to sit quietly (1 minute of silence for mourning/rememberance...that's always a looooong minute).
Honestly have no idea though. And really, adults should be able to sit quietly for a few minutes! Focus on quality of your words and I think it'll take care of itself.
Also a word of advice to those writing their own, give them to your officiant a few days ahead of time so they can make sure they are of similar length and formality. Ours did this and ours were left exactly as we wrote them, but we attended a wedding a week later where the bride's vows were very sincere and probably under a minute, and the groom, fitting with his personality, wrote a very eccentric and funny story for his vows that lasted nearly 5 mins. They were nice, but it was kind of awkward to have them so different.
When it comes to the tone, I don't really mind if the other one is more eccentric and funny. That's the reason they're called "personal". We should be able to inject our personality in the words we write. Otherwise, stick to the traditional vows.
News reporters write scripts at three words/second. Vows are often said a little bit more slowly, but this gives you a good idea. I would say anything from 130-170 words is ideal.
I have no idea how long our vows are going to be. I haven't even started on mine yet.
Agree with all bold! I know some don't like long vows or speeches but when they come from the heart, those are the best kind!!!
I love hearing vows/speech/toasts that come from the heart and make me cry. That's just me *shrugs* I don't care how long they are