September 2013 Weddings

My Registry Vent!

I have two parts to this vent. 

1) I planned on registering at the Bay, which is kind of like Macy's for Canada.  I was at the bridal show in my town and there was a consultant for the Bay there.  I gave her my information and started talking to her about registering, and asked how it worked.   I was planning on registering at the Bay in Kelowna (about an hour from where I live, but the store is TWICE the size with more stuff).  I asked if I could pick items at both stores, etc.  She got really defensive and started asking me WHY I wanted to register down there, it makes no sense because I live here,  and 'people think they have more stuff down there, but they really don't'.  I felt like she was very condescending and I was very uncomfortable with the whole conversation. 

2) So, I pre-register online and go down to the other Bay store in Kelowna, thinking because I did everything online we could just pick up the gun and go.  Instead we have to sit through this consultation, where the lady tells us with the size of our guest list, we should ahve $15,600 worth of stuff on the registry; our guests will get mad at the store if we don't have a lot of items on our list, and grilled us about each of our appliances (which are already new with our house).  Plus, we have already registered at one other store, and all I really wanted from here was luggage.  She even joked that if we picked out luggage that didn't match 'she would go in and change it for us'. 

We are really just doing a token registry, with a few items that we could actually use, because we honestly have most of what we need already.  FI says "they are taking the commitment we are making and the relationships we have with our friends and family and trying to squeeze every last dime out of us and them.'  Sorry for the long rant, has anyone else found registering to be a bit of a pain in the rear?

Re: My Registry Vent!

  • Sounds like the salesgirls are doing just that -- SELLING. It seems strange to me that stores would make things so uncomfortable/inconvenient for their customers, but my guess is that they are just going for the commission. Can you just do the rest of your registering online?
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  • I'm going to.  We have pretty much everything on there anyhow.  I wonder if they make commission!
  • We just told all the stores that we went into that we weren't interested in having someone come around with us.  We registered at BBB but because of here I'd been warned to just say no.  We went online after registering in store and fixed our registries a bunch of times.

    My registry vent is that we registered somewhat early because one of my aunts was really pressuring us.  We figured that we'd register now so that we wouldn't have to worry about it down the line (one more check right?).  Anyway, I have a hard time asking for expensive stuff so it was a challenge for me.  FI's grandmother called and was upset because we didn't register for fine china (we don't want it) or crystal (my parents are going to give me theirs when we buy a house).  FI and I decide to register for a few things we left off the list that were more expensive (KitchenAid Mixer for example).  We registered for it in the morning and went back online that night to make a few changes and someone had already bought it.  The shower is at the end of June.  Turns out my aunt (the same one who put pressure on us), went through and bought all the "big ticket" items and she'll sell them to other family members so that my family will get to give us all the "big stuff".  I think she wants our family to look better than his and more supportive or something.  Anyway, she bought our sheets/duvet/pillows, pots and pans, knives, (maybe the mixer?), and a bunch of little things and then bragged to my sister about everything.  Sigh.  Now FI's family is going to be upset when they get the shower invitations or try to buy us something.  I don't get how this turned into a competition.  Sorry to vent here.  Gah.  #engagedgirlproblems #firstworldproblems.
  • I hear you, I felt bad asking for expensive items also.  We really didn't want to come across as greedy.
  • Boston, wow! That is kind of a crummy position to put you in. Is this normal behavior for your aunt? 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_my-registry-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:3271729a-f42e-4ae9-a039-a82d585f0d79Post:744490ab-bca3-474e-8678-090083ad2d22">Re: My Registry Vent!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Boston, wow! That is kind of a crummy position to put you in. Is this normal behavior for your aunt? 
    Posted by mpickl[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yes and no.  My aunt has been through a lot over the past few years with her sons and husband.  She's always been a bit involved, but now I think she involves herself in things she shouldn't to distract herself.  </div><div>
    </div><div>For example, she wanted to call my FMIL to chat about the shower (who's hosting).  It took my dad, my sister, and myself all telling her NOT TO separately before it got through her head that it's not a good idea.  My FMIL won't take too well to someone calling her and telling her how things "should" be done at a shower by someone she hasn't met.  My FMIL is being amazing about the shower and I wouldn't want to insult her.

    My aunt just needs to chill out and back off.  She's already driving my sister (MOH) crazy telling her that she needs to do XYZ or the shower/batchelorette/wedding is going to be horrible (ignoring that all I expect from my MOH is to show up sober in the dress).  </div><div>
    </div><div>I think a huge part of it is that my mom isn't involved and it's upsetting to all my aunts because my mom was so looking forward to helping me and my sister plan our weddings someday. My aunt thinks she's stepping in and taking that part over in place of my mom, but it's just insulting to the two of us because we have it handled (together too which is really nice).  Besides, I bought my mom wedding magazines to look at and she has fun with the pretty pictures! :-)</div>
  • Holy cow. As if all the regular planning werent enough! My head is spinning just from getting things done let alone trying to manage family stuff (which im sure will come later).
    Its nice to come on here to a neutral zone!!! We're always here to lend an ear!
    As for the OP, I hadnt even thought of commissions or pushy sales staff but now that your mentioning it, it shouldnt surprise me I guess... Its gotta be millions of dollars in just wedding registry industry. They should be glad you didnt take your business elsewhere... Guess its good to know looking forward, ill be sure and use my assertive voice. (Is this where bridezillas are born?) Haha!
    Good luck everyone.
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  • Semi, I had considered going to the Bay because they have the best completion program. But I've had some terrible experiences with their sales staff in the last couple of years, so we're thinking Home Outfitters or Sears. (although Sears just laid off 10% of their Canadian workforce, so I don't know how I feel about that either)

     

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  • My FI and I were looking at the Bay but decided on BBB because of the pushy Bay  people at the wedding fairs. When we got to BBB we were seated with a sales lady since the wedding associate was busy, the sales lady was pushy and telling us we HAD to register for at least 20,000 worth of stuff because we were planning on 75 people. Both my FI and I were not interested in anything too expensive since our friends aren't rich and we don't want people uncomfortable. When the wedding associate finally came over she told us to ignore everything the sales lady said and just get whatever we wanted or truly thought people might get us. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_my-registry-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:3271729a-f42e-4ae9-a039-a82d585f0d79Post:fc67ce95-8abb-43ac-b67b-6b10e271daa9">Re: My Registry Vent!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Semi, I had considered going to the Bay because they have the best completion program. But I've had some terrible experiences with their sales staff in the last couple of years, so we're thinking Home Outfitters or Sears. (although Sears just laid off 10% of their Canadian workforce, so I don't know how I feel about that either)
    Posted by Angelface225[/QUOTE]
    We registered at Home Outfitters as well...I went there first hoping I could just register there, but there were a few things I was hoping to register for that I went to the Bay for (ie, luggage).

    Home Outfitters was 100x better.  Granted, they messed up when booking our appointment, and the lady in charge of registering wasn't there, so another lady who doesn't do registries helped us out.  But still.  If I waited a little longer, we could have done Target :)
  • Alls I want is a table and chairs from JCpenny! Its about $1,500 but I really really really want it! I figure some people could buy the chiars others could buy the table! I don't know why I am so focused on this dinning room set! Let me just let everyone know having a dinning room has been a big issue with my FI and self! I want a dinning room he thinks its not needed! We are moving into the home I grew up in and fixing it up (my mom is pretty much giving us the house as long as we pay for all the renovations and she is still living with us good for when we have kids) I went ahead and put the table and chairs on my registry with out asking my FI. Figure we will need the dinning room if we have a dinning room set! (I'm a little bit of a spoiled brat that gets my way most times). My mom was like alls you have on your registry is a coffee maker and the table! I said thats all I want and I want to make sure I get it!

    Just so eveyone knows I am laughing at myself as I type this because it is just tooooo funny to me. Of course I am going to put more on the registry and don't think I will get the set mostly I want to annoy my FI. Not really "annoy" but just kind of show him that we are having a dinning room table and I will not cook dinner if the table is in the tiny kitchen! I guess you would have to get our relationship to really understand that we are being playful with each other and im not that much of a brat!

    But I hate this registry stuff. I don't want to ask anyone for anything and I deff don't want to demand/tell people what to get me. I would truthfully rather just have a good time with people then have to get gifts and send thank yous!
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  • My theory on registering for larger ticket items is that the family might want to chip in on the big items we do need.  Otherwise at the end we can get a discount on the items we really wanted.  I don't expect to get everything, but it's fun to dream about redecorating and culling all our old kitchen stuff!

    On a positive note, we haven't had anyone try to sell us anything, just make suggestions about what to register for and how many items to register for.  
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