Hi - I am new to the boards! I was hoping for a little bit of advice on dealing with my mother. I have been told every wedding has at least one difficult person. So a little background, my FI and I are paying for the wedding ourselves, which we were aware from day one - its just the reality of the situation. I have had nothing but issues with my mother from day one.
1. She told me I could not have a sweetheart table because thats not how things were done.
2. She offered to pay for my dress, then the day I was ordering it said she would have to send monthly payments and never sent one because her boyfriend would not allow it. (A little bitter, but not surprised and I was prepared to pay myself.) Also while I was tring on dresses, she spent the better part of the time looking at wedding dresses for herself.
3. Picked out her mother of the bride dress in a color almost identical to the bridesmaids after I had sent a picture. When asked to pick out a different color so she could stand out as the MOB, she said she would wear a crown of her own. Also explained she did not want to spend a lot of money on a dress she was only going to wear once. Also, she is upset with my future MIL because she picked out a dress first that she is considering, but wants my aproval first. MOB should have first choice on the dress. I told my mother that my wedding stopped being traditional when I had to pay for it myself. Maybe a little harsh. Ultimately, I told her to wear what she wants and figure I will just notify my photographer and hope for the best.
4. Has told me if I invite my brother, her son, and somewhat of the black sheep for the moment due to his bad choices, that she won't go because it will upset her stomach and health issues.
5. She is texting me to determine my seating plan to find out who she is sitting with - and to make sure I get her in put on who not to seat her with. Again, she is worried about this making her ill.
My mother has been married and divorced twice and is in a new relationship and desparately wants to get married again. It almost feels like a power struggle and guilt trip - and I'm not sure how to handle it.
Thanks for any input and/or support!