HELP bridal shower bump in the road

jenifercharles

My mom and sister moh are throwing me a bridal shower. My mom doesn't want me to know anything but my sister tells me everything. So my mom and I live in Houston and my sister lives in Port Arthur the shower was originally planned to be in Port Arthur since all the bridemaids, my fmil, and most of our family is there and it was going to be in July. Now moms wants it a week before the wedding and in Houston. This is not going to work. Everyone is not going to want to take the hour and a half drive and get hotel rooms two weekends in a row. My sister can't stand up to our mother and I'm not suppose to know. Do I talk to my mother for my sister or do I make my sister stand up.

BostonGIrl4732

This is a sticky situation.  Personally, I think you need to figure out what works best for you.  I get that surprise showers are fun, but for me at least, it just wasn't going to be possible.  My sister was upset that it isn't going to be a surprise, but I was happier about it because I needed to plan on actually being there.  A shower with no bride because she already has plans for the day is no fun!

If you are OK with it not being a surprise (and it sounds like you are), I think you should just tell your mom that you have heard a rumor that she's planning the shower close to the wedding.  Then I'd tell her that you hope that maybe the shower would be planned a bit earlier because you already have plans with your FI that weekend to finish last minute wedding details.  Hopefully she'll take the hint and back off that date.  Or you can casually mention that you and FI have planned a weekend away the weekend before the wedding.  If you decide to change your mind about the weekend away later, oh well!

I've never heard of a shower the weekend before the wedding.  Sounds stressful to me!

mpickl

I agree with Boston, a shower the weekend before the wedding would be a lot of unneeded stress! If your sister won't stand up, it's tough to put her in the middle. Try to explain to your mom that the date and location slipped and then tell her it's not going to work. Let her know she can plan whatever surprises she wants inside the parameters of X, Y, Z (whatever you need to happen). Hopefully she understands and realizes how busy you'll be in the weeks leading up to the wedding!

elliemonster2012

As another bridal shower hell bride here, I feel ya!

I'd def just try talking to them.  Let them know exactly what works easier.  Chances are, they will realize it!

cookie0803

This is a tough situation, both because it is a surprise shower, and showers are a gift. Because of that, I really don't think you should say anything to you mom. Is there really nothing your sister will say to her? It shouldn't have to be a big dramatic blowout, just a simple explanation that the date and location won't work, for the reasons you've already listed.

If your sister absolutely refuses to talk to your mom or your mom refuses to budge, I would honestly make some plans for that day or something to that effect now, and tell mom about it, so you're not going to be available then. Since the party is a surprise, she would have to either tell you about it, creating the opening for you to explain the problem with her plan, or just change things on her own.

Kimba2121

Does your fiance have a relationship with your mom at all? My BM's are planning my bridal shower, and we have had a little drama between them - my fiance and one of my bridesmaids became the "peacemakers."If he could casually mention that its too close to the wedding or something along those lines, that might help. As the bride, you can't be stressed about the shower, you have too much to plan! If its really bothering you, just tell your mom, at least then you can say your peace. Just be nice about it and let her know how appreciative you are that she is doing this for you. You just have way too much to worry about, the bridal shower really shouldn't be one of them! Good luck!

jenifercharles

Thanks everyone for the advice. I talked with mom and came up with an solution. They wii throw the shower in July but it will be in Houston instead of our hometown. Everyone gets something. Mom had an attitude for a minute then she understood.