TMI Tuesday

mpickl

Do you get along with your future in-laws? Mother, father, siblings? Have they been annoyingly present during wedding planning or keeping their distance? 

TayBeach2013

I do, every single one of them.  I've been a part of their family since I was a completely insane, out-of-control 16 year old who did what she wanted, when she wanted (much like their daughter, my best friend, who is 6 months older lol).  They've seen me at my worst and didn't lock the doors when my car pulled up, so I think we're good to go at this point.  We disagree at times, but I get along and make up better with any of them than I do my own family.

Both FSILs have been my best friends for far longer than FI and I have dated.  I've called his mom "mom" since high school, and his dad probably likes me more than any of his real children (and I know he prefers me to the other DIL, but that may be because we don't live in their house).  Aunts, uncles, cousins...we're a very close knit unit and have been for years.  Even the family dog is in love with me.

I know not everyone has it so good, so I do feel really lucky

armywifeplusthree

Yes, we all get along but I'm not close to them at all. They've never really tried to be close to me. His dad and I at one point didn't get along but that's over. He only has one sibling and thats his sister. We talk but only when we are over to visit. I honestly wish we were closer because we are only about a year apart but we are so different. I have a son from a previous relationship who adorns them , to the point of begging me to go to there house. He has even begged them to go home with them and they just say no. They kinda acted excited when we told them we were getting married but of course there were some smart comments. Since we started planning they haven't offered any help or even asked about it.

deburnin

There's really only his mom. He's an only child and his dad passed away shortly after we started dating.  His mom occasionally drives me up a wall constantly asking FI to come over on his day off to do stuff around her house when ours is badly in need of its own attention. But she lives alone now that he moved out so I'm trying to be more understanding.  I also feel like sometimes she expects me to be something I'm not: talkative and out going. I have social anxiety and there is only so much family gathering I can take. I will probably never be close to her like she would want. It's just not who I am.  We haven't talked to her much about wedding planning. I don't really foresee there being an issue. She has already agreed to pay for people she wants invited that we have never met before or only once.

Love11506

I love them and they love me!!  His parents offer their help and I know if I need anything they would be willing to help! His sister is my maid of honor since I don't have any sisters and she is the closest to one since I've know her for 7 years!  His brother and sister-in-law are pretty great too!  The SIL offers her help but she bugs me sometimes because she is very high maintenance and her religion is different then our religion.  She doesn't get that we can get married outside at a golf course and still be married in the "eyes of God" (her words). I still love them all because my family is really small and I can't wait to be apart of their large family and huge extended family!

Jlp818

I'm also one of the lucky ones.  My FSIL is my very best friend since we were 13.  We would never be able to survive without eachother.  My FMIL is AMAZING.  I love her soso much!  She has been VERY excited about our wedding planning and wants to be very hands on which is great by me (she knows boundries).  FFIL is pretty cool too.   FBIL, though I have never met.  He lives across the country and hasn't been home in about 16+ years.

Wesolowskia

We all get along really well but we only really talk at family stuff. My FMIL has offered to help with wedding stuff but I don't know how much I will really ask her to do. She has already asked FI to see our guest list to "review it and add people we forgot," which I'm not happy about.

BostonGIrl4732

We get along.  FI's brother and I used to have some issues, but we've gotten past that.  I'm making more of an effort to get to know him better (he's FIs only sibling and they are close).  I've had some issues with FIs family in the past (they aren't happy he's moving to be with me) but his mom and I had a heart to heart and things have gotten a lot better.  I don't think we'll ever be besties, but that's OK.

KSerafin17

FI parents are divoriced and remarried. FMIL is most present in our lives and we get along great. She is very sweet and willing to help with anything I would need. FMIL's husband is also very nice. FFIl and his wife are in the picture, just not as much. But that is okay, I know they all care about FI and I and that is enough for me.

DMoore421

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_tmi-tuesday-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:7d545984-5212-497f-977c-1570bb609990Post:95f49ea4-57e3-47a6-a673-6219ac17d044">TMI Tuesday</a>:
[QUOTE]Do you get along with your future in-laws? Mother, father, siblings? Have they been annoyingly present during wedding planning or keeping their distance? 
Posted by mpickl[/QUOTE]

There really are no in-laws for me to get along with.  Most of FI family has passed except for his parents cousins.   His brother is great though and we all have the same weird sense of humor.   Now that his aunt has passed - which was the one person that felt she had a say in everything - basically what we want goes... it's my mom that is not to keen on some of our ideas - which is not fun because they are paying for most of it...

GoofyAssChick

My FI is an only child and his parents divorced when he was a teenager. 

When was first began dating, my FI was apprehensive about my meeting his mother and I had been “warned” about her behavior from both my FI and his father.  We’ve had a few snags in our relationship due to her not having a filter before she speaks, but for the most part she’s been a wonderful future mother-in-law.  She’s taken me in as the daughter she never had and she’s now on medication that helps with her behavior.  My own mother died in 2004 of a brain tumor and prior to her death she had years of odd behavior and did things that embarrassed me.  So when people say things happen for a reason, I sometimes find comfort in thinking that my mom’s illness helped me be able to cope with the things my future mother-in-law does and says.  It’s an illness and I’m just more patient.  My FI’s exes have had less patience and it was a struggle for them to be around his mother.  I love her and my family has welcomed her with welcome arms as well.  Last Thanksgiving, my family invited her to join our family for dinner and it was a wonderful occasion.  She also went with me when I found my wedding dress and literally cried when she saw me in THE dress.  I love her.  It’s as simple as that. 

My FI’s father reminds me a lot of my own Dad.   He jokes around A LOT and it’s hard for him to be serious.  He’s extremely helpful and each time he comes to town he seems to want to work on a project around my house; just because.  I love his father to pieces.  Last October my FI’s father remarried after they dated for less time than us.  He moved to Illinois and it has been very, very hard to have him so far away.  It has strained the relationship with my FI and his father and seeing my FI hurt, hurts me.  As much as we like his new step-mom, she’s got a big personality that can clash with ours at times.  She says and does some things that are just plaid condescending and it’s VERY hard for me to bite my tongue.  She doesn’t like my FI and it’s very evident that she doesn’t.  And they come to stay with us about every other month for a long weekend.  It’s hard to just sit idly by and listen to her belittle my FI, pick out my future father-in-law’s clothes and style his hair in front of us, and spend his money like it’s growing on trees.  But we suck it up because we love his Dad. And she's not all bad.  It's just kind of hard not to focus on the negative when she's staying with you in close proximity and taking your bath robe without asking. 

As for wedding planning, everyone has been extremely helpful in the process.  I think EVERYONE wanted us to get engaged long before we actually did.  Both his mom and dad knew I was right for him almost immediately.  (I can’t blame them).  My FI’s mom even gave him her diamond to give to me; in front of me I might add.  She has offered to help in her time and doing a lot of DIY stuff.  His father has offered more in just money, which helps for sure.  

Wow.  I didn't expect that to be so long.  Whoops. 

BostonGIrl4732

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_tmi-tuesday-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:7d545984-5212-497f-977c-1570bb609990Post:4db8d40b-51cb-4330-a244-c5e2cd468751">Re: TMI Tuesday</a>:
[QUOTE]taking your bath robe without asking.
Posted by GoofyAssChick[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Seriously?  I'd be beyond upset if anyone touched by bath robe.  I'm weird but I treat my bath robe like underwear.  So gross!
</div>

TayBeach2013

BostonGirl, you beat me to it.  I read that and my eyes almost rolled onto the floor.

Then again, I'm a middle child with only child syndrome so there's that.

GoofyAssChick

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_tmi-tuesday-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:7d545984-5212-497f-977c-1570bb609990Post:97a38bb5-54de-46a9-874c-9af86e40a89f">Re: TMI Tuesday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: TMI Tuesday : Seriously?  I'd be beyond upset if anyone touched by bath robe.  I'm weird but I treat my bath robe like underwear.  So gross!
Posted by BostonGIrl4732[/QUOTE]

YES!  Not once, but on two separate visits.  The last visit, I literally hid it.  Then while I was wearing it, she asked when I would be dressed so she could bathe and use it.  The weirdest moment ever.  Sooooo gross.  I'm getting her a robe for Christmas. 

GoofyAssChick

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_tmi-tuesday-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:7d545984-5212-497f-977c-1570bb609990Post:770ee03b-2c94-411c-8cb6-7ed3f30a040a">Re: TMI Tuesday</a>:
[QUOTE]BostonGirl, you beat me to it.  I read that and my eyes almost rolled onto the floor. Then again, I'm a middle child with only child syndrome so there's that.
Posted by TayBeach2013[/QUOTE]

She also goes through my bathroom closet and medicine cabinet.  She finds my Philosophy products and tries them on and then comments on it.  My Hope in a Jar moisturizer was in the medicine cabinet yet she comes out lathering it on her face and comments on how great it is and asks if it's expensive.  I get floored by her.  I want people to make themselves at home and not feel like guests, but it's common courtesy to not go through my sh*t. 

TayBeach2013

Not the Hope in a Jar (speaking of, did you catch it on the Q this weekend?  Tons of easy pay!)!  Oh, I'd have thrown her.

I 100% agree about people not going through your things, that's just home-training.  In my world, if it's not out, it's not for public consumption.  Snooping takes me to my place, no matter how harmlessly.

APDSS22

Ew, the bath robe?  I honestly have never had anyone steal mine, but I'm assuming it would be icky and traumatizing.

I get along alright with my FILs.  My FSIL and I sometimes text about what to get my FI for Christmas, etc.  His mom is super-sweet and is helping us find vendors around here since we don't know any and they used to live here.  His dad has a big personality and feels I should be more out-going but I think he's getting used to me now.  In general, I think I got pretty darn lucky, and not just because I get to marry my best friend!

GoofyAssChick

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_tmi-tuesday-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:7d545984-5212-497f-977c-1570bb609990Post:017d7243-686c-4cdd-adf5-952ab4fb5dd5">Re: TMI Tuesday</a>:
[QUOTE]Not the Hope in a Jar (speaking of, did you catch it on the Q this weekend?  Tons of easy pay!)!  Oh, I'd have thrown her. Posted by TayBeach2013[/QUOTE]

Girl, I'm addicted to the Q for that very reason.  I haven't needed to purchase anything though since I'm locked into easy pay and auto shipment for a lot of items and have been for years.  Thank God because the prices have risen!!!  But hot diggity dog I love me some Philosophy. 

greeneyes04

My FMIL and I havde always had a close relationship since FI and I started dating. We lived with her for the first 2 years of our relationship. She does tend to drive me a little crazy at times, but mostly when she is in my house. I don't care that she uses my things (not my bathrobe though! lol) but she had a hard time putting things back where they belong and likes to eat and drink in my living room and spills! I don't mind the little things though. I love her so so much! We are pretty much the only family she has besides FBIL and his wife who we have a roller coaster relationship with mostly bc of his absence in his oldest daughters life and our presence in her life . FMIL isn't as close to him as she is with FI. She is disabled and so she doesn't have much of an income so she is going to help with the wedding as much as she can. 

My FFIL was not always a part of our lives, but things changed for the better about 6 years ago. We see him now every couple of months although it seems we make more of an effort than he does. I love his dad very much and I am happy he is now a part of our lives. We mentioned that we picked a date for the wedding and booked both venues and our officiant aand he changed the subject and walked outside. Not sure f we are going to get any help from him. Wish he could help contribute in some way since FMIL can only afford so much. 

As far as extended family I just love all of his Aunts, Uncles, and cousins on his Dad's side! Wish we could see them all more. His Moms family is all split up and so we really only have a relationship with one of his Uncles & his cousin on that side.