in the hot seat

DMoore421

so tomorrow is the memorial service for FI aunt.  She passes yesterday morning after slipping into a coma

I am extremely nervous.   I am going to be very emothional because although FI aunt was a headache sometimes she was extremely sweet... and loved me to death - and the fact that FI is going to be emotional is going to be hard to handle because it is not something I can fix,,

So in this situation is the first time i meeting a large majority of his family - super nervous....

armywifeplusthree

Good luck hun. I hope everything goes smooth for you.

zantster

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_in-the-hot-seat?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:cc855a8b-26e8-4a98-84be-1066886958efPost:ab054892-bcc1-408d-9fad-96f5bedf4687">Re: in the hot seat</a>:
[QUOTE]Good luck hun. I hope everything goes smooth for you.
Posted by christinajarman[/QUOTE]

With your FI at your side you two will be just fine.  Let him be your rock and be confident that you are a good person who loves him and everyone will see why he chose to marry you.  I went to my gran's memorial about a month ago when she passed and there was family from everywhere.  But it went off without a hitch.  The reverend was wonderful.  And when my FI sensed it would be hard for me he squeezed my hand really tightly as I cried.  The shoe was on the other foot and he met tons of members of my family for the first time.  But when they saw how in love and together we are they were very happy for us and wished us well.  I'm sure it will also be a welcoming environment for you.  Good luck!  Come back and tell us how it went.

DMoore421

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_in-the-hot-seat?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:cc855a8b-26e8-4a98-84be-1066886958efPost:7b1f3c63-535b-43d9-8059-cab6eb049779">Re: in the hot seat</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: in the hot seat : With your FI at your side you two will be just fine.  Let him be your rock and be confident that you are a good person who loves him and everyone will see why he chose to marry you.  I went to my gran's memorial about a month ago when she passed and there was family from everywhere.  But it went off without a hitch.  The reverend was wonderful.  And when my FI sensed it would be hard for me he squeezed my hand really tightly as I cried.  The shoe was on the other foot and he met tons of members of my family for the first time.  But when they saw how in love and together we are they were very happy for us and wished us well.  I'm sure it will also be a welcoming environment for you.  Good luck!  Come back and tell us how it went.
Posted by zantster[/QUOTE]


Thanks everyone... service was very nice and i met lots of people... felt really weird having them thank me for taking care of FI... he has actually held up pretty good... I held it together pretty well too until almost the end when they played amazing grace... that song gets me at every memorial service / funeral all the time.  I got to hear lots of stories about FI dad (who passed not long before i met FI for the first time ) and the trouble he got into with FI aunt .  It was amzing hearing some of the things that were said about her because I never really knew her to be the stong independent self sufficient woman she apparently was at one time. 

I did have one break down after the service in the bathroom... only a few minutes but enough that I could still hold it together for FI and his brother - mostly because FI aunt was sooooooooooooo excited that we were getting married as there had not been a wedding in the family in such a long time... since i was being introduced to everyone for the first time as a fiance to all these people they were all asking when the wedding was and it kind of hit me that as excited as she was when we got engaged about planning and just talking about the wedding in general she won't be here now for it ... that is when i had to excuse myself - have my cry - get it all out and go back to being the supportive FI...

I had that realization the other night before she actually passed as well when i was doing some work with my guest list spreadhseet... she is still on the list because I can't take her off or mark her as not coming - it sounds so crazy because as difficult as she could be she was a sweet sweet lady who was so happy for us. 

Trying to talk FI into going to sleep - he is exhausted - and relieved that this day and the services are over and realy just needs sleep this weekend as next week we start the process of going through and mnoving things out of the house and into storage if we want to keep it and pretty much moving on with our lives outside of this little town - which is going to be another hurdle for him to get over emotionally...