Favors

Charitable donation in lieu of favors?

My fiance and I are getting married in April 2nd and have been thinking long and hard about what to do for our favors. He will most likely be deploying shortly after our wedding so we started to discuss donating to the "Heart of a Marine Foundation" since they help out all branches of the military. My family is full of military members as well as his. We don't want our guest to feel cheated out of a favor or anything like that but we want to help out a military charity as well. Is there an easy/cheap way to do both or should we just make the donation and write up little notes saying something along the lines of in lieu of favors, we've donated the money to a charity instead?
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Re: Charitable donation in lieu of favors?

  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Okay.  A word of advice: before you post on any board, read the sticky notes at the top of the page.  You will notice that the Favors board has only one sticky and it is on donations in lieu of favors.  Please read it.
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  • ivyrose13ivyrose13 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I second the PP
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  • lalap69lalap69 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Planning Our Wedding - Updated 04/11/11
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Please read the post above this one that talks about charity donations as "favors".  They are not favors.  Make your donation.  That's a wonderful thing.  But why do you have to announce to your guests that you've made a donation? 

    I think it's inappropriate to donate anything "in your guests' names".  Let them make donations to charities that are important to them.  You make donations to charities that are important to you. 

    Just leave your wedding out of it. 
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • edited December 2011
    I just read this string of posts and I am appauled at how rude the replies are. What happened to friendly discussion?  In repsonse to telling someone to read the "sticky", I read the sticky and it didn't help me make up my mind, reading two peoples opionions is not a discussion. I would also prefer to hear what more people have to say on the topic.

    What has happened to the Knot? So much for friendly discussion and advice, it seems more like "what I do is right, what you want to do is wrong, and I'm going to tell you just how wrong you are".  That is so unfortunate.
  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_charitable-donation-lieu-of-favors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:27Discussion:03369961-2953-41ca-b07a-eb40c557a431Post:84a16697-3274-4c8b-be1c-a53ac46eb807">Re: Charitable donation in lieu of favors?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I just read this string of posts and I am appauled at how rude the replies are. What happened to friendly discussion?  In repsonse to telling someone to read the "sticky", I read the sticky and it didn't help me make up my mind, reading two peoples opionions is not a discussion. I would also prefer to hear what more people have to say on the topic. What has happened to the Knot? So much for friendly discussion and advice, it seems more like "what I do is right, what you want to do is wrong, and I'm going to tell you just how wrong you are".  That is so unfortunate.
    Posted by claudinedejoie[/QUOTE]

    What exactly was rude?  She was advised to read the sticky because they are placed at the top of boards on subjects that are asked over and over and frankly, most people are tired of hearing the question.  The two responses are the only responses you will get but overwhelmingly, Trix's response is that of the majority of posters: charitable donations are not favors.  In addition, they can be offensive as some posters have had these "favors" made in their name to charities they oppose for one reason or another.

    Don't believe me, use the search feature at the bottom of the page and take a look at past threads.
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  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_charitable-donation-lieu-of-favors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:27Discussion:03369961-2953-41ca-b07a-eb40c557a431Post:bc4bdae7-d4fd-47ac-8c79-ab075d805414">Re: Charitable donation in lieu of favors?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Didn't you know Tricia?  Thinking something is a bad idea, backing that thought up with logic and reason, and then providing resources for the person with the original idea to get further information on it are the HEIGHT of rudeness. Duh!
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    My humblest apologies ::deep sweeping bow::
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  • edited December 2011
    I am doing a charitable donation. My fiance is a firefighter and many of our guests will be fireman as well. I am donating to the ct fallen firefighter fund. I will be giving each guest a little box with a chocolate fire helmet with a note about the donation. 

    Many girls on here bash charitable donations, but then turn and bash other girls favor ideas. Do whatever you feel like and do not let the girls on here change your mind. In my opinion, many of these girls would not be happy with anything except what they chose as their gift. I can guarantee that not everyone was in love with their favor. You cannot please everyone. It is your wedding, you choose!
  • graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I don't want to bash your idea, but I do think that giving donations as favors isn't really a favor at all. Charitable donations are great, but favors are supposed to be little thank yous for your guests. Giving something to someone else, as great an organization as it is, just isn't a gift to the wedding guest. I understand why you'd want to do it-- my brother is about to enlist. However, if you want to make a donation, I would do it for what it is and leave it out of the wedding completely. 
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  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_charitable-donation-lieu-of-favors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:27Discussion:03369961-2953-41ca-b07a-eb40c557a431Post:d6e04c96-d37b-4114-9846-83ad72326887">Re: Charitable donation in lieu of favors?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am doing a charitable donation. My fiance is a firefighter and many of our guests will be fireman as well. I am donating to the ct fallen firefighter fund. I will be giving each guest a little box with a chocolate fire helmet with a note about the donation.  Many girls on here bash charitable donations, but then turn and bash other girls favor ideas. Do whatever you feel like and do not let the girls on here change your mind. In my opinion, many of these girls would not be happy with anything except what they chose as their gift. I can guarantee that not everyone was in love with their favor. You cannot please everyone. It is your wedding, you choose!
    Posted by arielmatador14[/QUOTE]

    Ahhh....the bitter old hags defense to a bad idea.

    Generally, edible favors are the best way to go like your chocolate fire helmet.  Things that are personalized with the B&G's name or wedding date do not go over well because who really wants something with this engraving.  Burned CDs are another bad idea as not everyone has the same musical taste.  Charitable donations are not favors.  Period.  Go ahead and made the donation but don't try to call it a favor.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_charitable-donation-lieu-of-favors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:27Discussion:03369961-2953-41ca-b07a-eb40c557a431Post:d6e04c96-d37b-4114-9846-83ad72326887">Re: Charitable donation in lieu of favors?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am doing a charitable donation. My fiance is a firefighter and many of our guests will be fireman as well. I am donating to the ct fallen firefighter fund.<strong> I will be giving each guest a little box with a chocolate fire helmet with a note about the donation. </strong> Many girls on here bash charitable donations, but then turn and bash other girls favor ideas. Do whatever you feel like and do not let the girls on here change your mind. In my opinion, many of these girls would not be happy with anything except what they chose as their gift. I can guarantee that not everyone was in love with their favor. You cannot please everyone. It is your wedding, you choose!
    Posted by arielmatador14[/QUOTE]

    So, essentially what you're doing is giving everyone a favor (the chocolate fire helmets) to tell them that you're not giving them a favor.That just doesn't make any sense at all.

    Give the chocolate helmets (very cute), but leave the note about the donation out of it.  By all means, GIVE the donation from you and your FI, but I see absolutely no need to announce it to your guests.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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