Favors

donation favor

My fiance and I decided we are going to make a donation to a charity of our choice in lieu of favors.  How do we go about telling everyone?  Is it better to place a little note card on each guests napkin at the tables or can we just make one bigger sign and place it next to our guest book near the entrance to the reception? 

Re: donation favor

  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Didn't you ask this question already?  I swear I read it before.  And if you did, then my reply still stands.

    I'm not a fan of calling a donation a favor.

    Make your donation.  I believe in donations.  I make them myself.  I think they're a good thing to do.

    But don't pretend that they're a favor to your guests.  Because they're not.  They're a favor to the organization, and to you.  You're taking the money you'd spend on a little something for your guests and giving it to someone else.  How do you figure that's a favor for your guests?

    Honestly, I don't need a favor.  I don't really want a favor.  You're already giving me food, drinks, entertainment.  I don't need a matchbook or m&ms (although I LOVE m&ms) as a thank you.

    But please don't in any, way, shape or form think that giving $$ to a charity is somehow doing something for me.

    I'd liken it to a guest coming to your wedding and giving you a card that says "In honor of your marriage, I have given a donation to the "eastern micronesia tsunami prevention fund".  It may be important to your guest, but it probably doesn't mean anything to you.  So it's not really a gift for you, is it?

    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • melissamc2melissamc2 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    trix and I generally agree completely on this topic, so just re-read what she wrote - but maybe a bit meaner.  She's nicer! :)
    10-10-10
  • CA2MT4EveRCA2MT4EveR member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    and read what the moderator placed at the top of the forum
    dont make ur password so easy. gbck2CA2 hahahaha
  • magpie2313magpie2313 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I disagree. I think donation favors are totally acceptable. I think some people just don't 'get' it. Is there two ways of looking at it - as a guest you could receive something you probably won't use or want - well, by donating money to a charity - they COULD use it and NEED it. So, the money spent on M&Ms or something else - could be paying to feed someone's child one night. As a guest, would you rather forego a favor to help a good cause??  
  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_donation-favor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:27Discussion:32b6c5dc-a348-485b-a144-8625f8f168fcPost:25327869-5556-4c0b-b717-d605e2d3cc0b">Re: donation favor</a>:
    [QUOTE]I disagree. I think donation favors are totally acceptable. I think some people just don't 'get' it. Is there two ways of looking at it - as a guest you could receive something you probably won't use or want - well, by donating money to a charity - they COULD use it and NEED it. So, the money spent on M&Ms or something else - could be paying to feed someone's child one night. As a guest, would you rather forego a favor to help a good cause??  
    Posted by magpie2313[/QUOTE]


    But why exactly is it always the part for the guests that gets cut?  If you really want to feel like you're making a sacrifice for the charity, give up the limo.  Cut the flowers.  Cut the monogrammed aisle runner, or the string quartet.  Not saying that you're specifically having any of those things, but you get the idea.

    If you really want it to be about something that's important to YOU, cut something that's important to YOU.

    People can rationalize giving up favors for donations.  Example:  the tired "why give them something they won't use" argument.  But that argument is just silly.  If you're worried about it being something they won't use:  how is a donation to a charity, which they obviously won't use, better?

    Don't give favors.  Fine.  But if you drop the silly excuses, you're still going to find that a donation is NOT, in any way, shape, or form, for your guests.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • mica178mica178 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Donations are worthwhile gifts to the charity, but they aren't favors to your guests.  You get the tax deduction.  They get... a silly piece of paper that says "In lieu of a favor, a donation has been made..."?

    Make the donation.  Skip the annoying AW announcement about the donation and just don't give out any favors.  Most people won't notice.  If anyone asks, you can tell them that you thought the donation was a better option. 

    Trust your Aunt Mica.
  • melissamc2melissamc2 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    As I've also pointed out, we don't all agree on what charities are "worthwhile."  There are some that I'd be downright OFFENDED if someone donated money to and called it a "favor" to me or in "honor" of me.
    10-10-10
  • brilibby4brilibby4 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    [QUOTE] I'm not a fan of calling a donation a favor. Make your donation.  I believe in donations.  I make them myself.  I think they're a good thing to do. But don't pretend that they're a favor to your guests.  Because they're not.  They're a favor to the organization, and to you.  You're taking the money you'd spend on a little something for your guests and giving it to someone else.  How do you figure that's a favor for your guests? Honestly, I don't need a favor.  I don't really want a favor.  You're already giving me food, drinks, entertainment.  I don't need a matchbook or m&ms (although I LOVE m&ms) as a thank you. But please don't in any, way, shape or form think that giving $$ to a charity is somehow doing something for me. I'd liken it to a guest coming to your wedding and giving you a card that says "In honor of your marriage, I have given a donation to the "eastern micronesia tsunami prevention fund".  It may be important to your guest, but it probably doesn't mean anything to you.  So it's not really a gift for you, is it?
    Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]


    This exactly.  I make donations too.  However, I donate for the causes I believe in not for my guests.  Your donations benefit causes YOU believe in and have absolutely nothing to do with your guests. 
    image
  • edited December 2011
    We're doing a donation instead of wasting money (in my opinion) on little trinkets for the guests. They don't need to walk away with a little tin of candy or other trinket that they will not know what to do with. The wedding is about us, and we will make a donation to a charity that represents our passions. It's a way to show our guests what we care about, and for them to feel involved. Maybe it will inspire them to get involved with a charity or community service, maybe not. What you spend money on reflects what you really care about--this applies to your wedding too. 

    I don't know why people think they need to get a favor when they go to a party anyways. They come to celebrate and honor the birthday girl, or bride & groom, etc--they have fun, eat food, probably take some pictures and create memories--I think that's enough.
  • CA2MT4EveRCA2MT4EveR member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_donation-favor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:27Discussion:32b6c5dc-a348-485b-a144-8625f8f168fcPost:9daa4698-35fd-4774-978f-8aed4d4bc44f">Re: donation favor</a>:
    [QUOTE]We're doing a donation instead of wasting money (in my opinion) on little trinkets for the guests. They don't need to walk away with a little tin of candy or other trinket that they will not know what to do with. The wedding is about us, and we will make a donation to a charity that represents our passions. It's a way to show our guests what we care about, and for them to<strong> feel involved</strong>. Maybe it will inspire them to get involved with a charity or community service, maybe not. What you spend money on reflects what you really care about--this applies to your wedding too.

     I don't know why people think they need to get a favor when they go to a party anyways. They come to celebrate and honor the birthday girl, or bride & groom, etc--they have fun, eat food, probably take some pictures and create memories--I think that's enough.
    Posted by jsickream[/QUOTE]

    I see nothing about YOU giving money to something as ME getting involved.  Besides that, what if you donated to SPCA?  You think it's a great cause, but I am highly against this charity.  You never know how your guests will feel and yes, you may offend someone!
    dont make ur password so easy. gbck2CA2 hahahaha
  • melissamc2melissamc2 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_donation-favor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:27Discussion:32b6c5dc-a348-485b-a144-8625f8f168fcPost:9daa4698-35fd-4774-978f-8aed4d4bc44f">Re: donation favor</a>:
    [QUOTE]We're doing a donation instead of wasting money (in my opinion) on little trinkets for the guests. They don't need to walk away with a little tin of candy or other trinket that they will not know what to do with.
    Posted by jsickream[/QUOTE]

    I have absolute faith that even the most moronic of our guests will know what to do with a piece of chocolate!
    10-10-10
  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_donation-favor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:27Discussion:32b6c5dc-a348-485b-a144-8625f8f168fcPost:9daa4698-35fd-4774-978f-8aed4d4bc44f">Re: donation favor</a>:
    [QUOTE]We're doing a donation instead of wasting money (in my opinion) on little trinkets for the guests. They don't need to walk away with a little tin of candy or other trinket that they will not know what to do with. The wedding is about us, and we will make a donation to a charity that represents our passions. It's a way to show our guests what we care about, <em><strong>and for them to feel involved</strong></em>. <em><strong>Maybe it will inspire them to get involved with a charity or community service,</strong></em> maybe not. What you spend money on reflects what you really care about--this applies to your wedding too.  I don't know why people think they need to get a favor when they go to a party anyways. They come to celebrate and honor the birthday girl, or bride & groom, etc--they have fun, eat food, probably take some pictures and create memories--I think that's enough.
    Posted by jsickream[/QUOTE]


    Please tell me how YOU  giving money to a charity that YOU care about  is going to make ME feel involved in YOUR wedding?  Are you kidding me?

    I am very involved in community service.  I'm pretty sure that people know that countless opportunities exist for their involvement of time, talents, and $$.  Please don't assume that a little scroll on their plate is suddenly going to make someone say "Gosh!  I never thought of donating money to people whose homes have been ruined by earthquakes.  I've seen the light!!"
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • edited December 2011
    I think it is a fabulous idea to donate "favor" money to charity... what I don't understand is the need to advertise your good deed.  Like Nike says -- just do it.  To me the signs stating "we've donated in lieu of favors" screams out --- look at how great we are, we donate to charity!!! Perfectly fine to spend your money as you see fit, just please do not feel the urge to let your guest know.
  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_donation-favor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:27Discussion:32b6c5dc-a348-485b-a144-8625f8f168fcPost:9daa4698-35fd-4774-978f-8aed4d4bc44f">Re: donation favor</a>:
    [QUOTE]We're doing a donation instead of wasting money (in my opinion) on little trinkets for the guests. They don't need to walk away with a little tin of candy or other trinket that they will not know what to do with. The wedding is about us, and we will make a donation to a charity that represents our passions. It's a way to show our guests what we care about, and for them to feel involved. Maybe it will inspire them to get involved with a charity or community service, maybe not. What you spend money on reflects what you really care about--this applies to your wedding too. <em><strong> I don't know why people think they need to get a favor when they go to a party anyways.</strong></em> They come to celebrate and honor the birthday girl, or bride & groom, etc--they have fun, eat food, probably take some pictures and create memories--I think that's enough.
    Posted by jsickream[/QUOTE]

    If you re-read my initial post you'll see that I very clearly say that I DON'T need nor do I WANT favors.  I don't.  You're already giving me food, drinks, and entertainment.

    So skip the favor.  I'm very cool with that.  Just don't pretend that taking money you'd have spent on a token for me and giving it to someone else  is somehow a favor for me.

    Let's try this analogy:  I come to your wedding.  I give you a card and inside is the notation:  I've taken the money I'd use to buy a gift for YOU and given it to my cousin Larry.  Aren't you honored?
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • lindsayfalllindsayfall member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The last wedding I went to, on every table there was a sign/notice/whatever, that said, in lieu of favors, we have donated to (insert charity here), a charity very close to our hearts.
    It said some other things, but, it was the charity for the disease that the MOB had passed away from. Very touching, and no one minded or mentioned not getting a favor.
    I say go for it.
  • dees14dees14 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't understand the confusion. You're all right, it's not a favor to the guests. That's why it's called a donation IN LIEU OF a favor. Who has ever loved their wedding favor, anyways? 
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks StageManager, that's a good idea. :)
  • mica178mica178 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_donation-favor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:27Discussion:32b6c5dc-a348-485b-a144-8625f8f168fcPost:5c32f195-107c-40ad-a7d0-d61906075054">Re: donation favor</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't understand the confusion. You're all right, it's not a favor to the guests. That's why it's called a donation IN LIEU OF a favor. Who has ever loved their wedding favor, anyways? 
    Posted by dees14[/QUOTE]

    Actually, sometimes I have loved my wedding favor.  Excellent chocolate wins every time.

    How'd you feel if I put up a sign "In lieu of a live band, the bride and groom have decided on an iPod reception and the abiity to pay their electricity bill this month"?  No?  How about "In lieu of an open bar, a donation has been made to the local Sheriff Department's Retirement Fund"?

    Skip the note, skip the favor, make the donation.  Quiet and classy.
  • lmcit23lmcit23 member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think a donation is a nice idea - and do not look for anything to take home from a wedding. 
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