favors that mean something

kendraleigh19

I have had several members of my family pass on from cancer- so my finace and I are donating money to the cancer society.  At every table we will have a frame stating in lue of a party favor we have made a donation to the cancer socity in memory of.... it means more to me than choclate or wine..

kellya01

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_favors-mean-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:27Discussion:3898d691-a8c8-4093-ae31-1043af563195Post:655ae561-e6f4-422c-afe0-8521a71ec8f2">favors that mean something</a>:
[QUOTE]I have had several members of my family pass on from cancer- so my finace and I are donating money to the cancer society.  At every table we will have a frame stating <strong>in lue of a party favor </strong>we have made a donation to the cancer socity in memory of.... it means more to me than choclate or wine..
Posted by kendraleigh19[/QUOTE]

<div>I hope you'll spell it LIEU instead of lue... just sayin'.  :-)  </div><div>
</div><div>I would agree with PP 100% on this one.  Good luck! </div>

ivyrose13

Check the sticky on top of the board in regards to doing this. I support giving out donations, but you don't have to AW about it at your reception. 

trix1223

This question comes up a lot.  So here's the answer than I give to a question that comes up a lot.

It does sound like you're not going to be dissuaded from this, but perhaps other brides and grooms who are considering a donation in lieu of favors will take this into consideration:

Make your donation.  I believe in donations.  I make them myself.  I think they're a good thing to do.

But don't pretend that they're a favor to your guests.  Because they're not.  They're a favor to the organization, and to you.  You're taking the money you'd spend on a little something for your guests and giving it to someone else.  How do you figure that's a favor for your guests?

Honestly, I don't need a favor.  I don't really want a favor.  You're already giving me food, drinks, entertainment.  I don't need a matchbook or m&ms (although I LOVE m&ms) as a thank you.

But please don't in any, way, shape or form think that giving $$ to a charity is somehow doing something for me.

Think of it this way:  Your neighbor comes over to your house and says “I’m going to do you a favor and shovel the snow from your driveway.”  That’s a favor to you.  But if your neighbor comes over and says “I’m going to do you a favor.  I’m going to shovel my elderly father’s driveway”, you’d be thinking “how is that a favor for me?”

Because it’s not.  It’s a favor, yes.  But not for you.  And what would you think if your neighbor to come to your house and said “Wow!  I’m a terrific person.  I just went and shoveled my elderly father’s driveway! I told him I did it your honor.  Aren’t I something?”   That’s pretty much how telling your guests that you’ve made a donation “for them” is going to come across.

Bottom line, IMO: charity donations are not favors.  Make your donation.  That's a wonderful thing.  But why do you have to announce to your guests that you've made a donation? 

I think it's inappropriate to donate anything "in your guests' names".  Let them make donations to charities that are important to them.  You make donations to charities that are important to you.

Just leave your wedding out of it.

sweetlilpsycho

I agree with everything that was said here, especialy trix, BUT there are ways to donate AND give your guests a little something!

I don't have a link, because I'm still looking for it myself, but I saw something once about bottles of wine benefiting charity.  You could totally do that, and I'm sure there's other little things you could get that would benefit charity, I think it's the best of both worlds! 

But I do agree that while "en vogue", donating to charities in lieu of providing favors isn't a favor to your guests, it's just a super-philanthropic, self-indulgent, yuppie thing that got started [I think] to save money on favors.

AquarianDragon

Sometimes I also think about a wedding donation. However, my thought was in lieu of gifts to ask our guests to donate to the Lupus Foundation of America. FI's mother passed away in 2007 due to complications of lupus. I think it would be a great way to 'incldue' FI's mom. It also allows guests to decide on whether to donate to our cause, give us a gift or maybe split between the two. I haven't mentioned it to him yet.
 
I realize some couples count on gifts to help them begin their married lives.

Even we (the collective "we") are planning weddings and probably hosting food & drink, I think doing a donation favor would leave some people with a bad taste in their mouth.

heatherreineke

My friend did a donation but also had personalized pencils on the tables. The pencils had a tag telling about the donation and that each time we used the pencil to think about the organization they donated to. (I think it was for school supplies somewhere...)
Maybe you could do something like this. Or buy favors from an organization that benifits the cancer society.