Favors
Wedding Favor- a donation to charity
I want to make a small donation in every guest's name to a charity the groom and I care about instead of wasteful wedding favors.
Has anyone seen this at a wedding and have any ideas on how to do it? And were the guests critical of the idea? Or if anyone else have any suggestions for it?
Our charities will be the Humane Society and Concerns of Police Survivors.
Has anyone seen this at a wedding and have any ideas on how to do it? And were the guests critical of the idea? Or if anyone else have any suggestions for it?
Our charities will be the Humane Society and Concerns of Police Survivors.
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Re: Wedding Favor- a donation to charity
Are you planning on filling out the tax forms every guest will need for their IRS writeoff? If not, then you are not making a donation in their name.
This is a very heated topic. Here is my take and a few threads that you should read:
Hi Guest - To thank you for coming to our wedding, we have a little gift for you. Where is it? Oh, no. You don't understand. You aren't getting it; someone else is.
Please don't pretend this is a favor. People don't expect favors at weddings so just don't do them. Make your donation but don't tell people what they aren't getting. If it really means that much to you to donate to your charities, why not ask guests to donate to this instead of giving you a gift. Too much? How about you and your FI making a donation as your gift to eachother.
http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_charity-donations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:27Discussion:26fa9ee4-6301-4700-a6fe-8e05270d749fPost:8a35bcd9-4546-4473-b945-d57fb16bb600
http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_carity-favor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:27Discussion:a8add106-428b-4be1-a24e-552775c0a15bPost:304e58d6-add5-44dd-a216-b2f9df05a9f3
http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_favors-mean-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:27Discussion:3898d691-a8c8-4093-ae31-1043af563195Post:a89f7b4d-770b-48fc-8e13-dc32db0b5f25
http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_donation-lieu-of-favors-ammount?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:27Discussion:5a4ed765-dd8d-42cb-b488-dc53097a89d8Post:fc518e7b-bd7f-44e2-a601-1ccb531c6b73
Well thanks for the links so I could read people jump down these girls throats for posing a question and wanting advice.
I was curious though how guests feel about it. I have heard alot of people rave how cute it was at a wedding and I haven't had a chance to hear other perpectives on it.
I guess I will have to think of something else then..: )
[QUOTE]Well thanks for the links so I could read people jump down these girls throats for posing a question and wanting advice. I was curious though how guests feel about it. I have heard alot of people rave how cute it was at a wedding and <strong>I haven't had a chance to hear other perpectives on it.</strong> I guess I will have to think of something else then..: )
Posted by sauterkm[/QUOTE]
Be careful what you wish for? These are other perspectives.
As a favor, it is not really a gift for the guest. It is a very nice thought on the surface, but as a guest, I never understood how that is thanking me for coming to your wedding. I can't write it off on my taxes (unless you're planning to fill out the form for every single person attending) Overall it looks very AW and pretentious to me.
I've been to enough weddings to know that I don't want any more candies, or matchbooks, or smelly candles. We will be making a donation to the ArborDay Foundation so that a tree is planted in a national park for each of our guests (I'm a field biology graduate student). A tree will outlast any silly favor that gets put on the table, and I know people will appreciate a donation to the Humane Soceity and a Concerns of Police Survivors. These are obviously important issues to you...and let's be honest...your wedding is about YOU. No one else is going to a wedding because they want something out of it.
I applaud your idea for doing something that means a lot to you!
Jen
[QUOTE]Well thanks for the links so I could read people jump down these girls throats for posing a question and wanting advice. I was curious though how guests feel about it. I have heard alot of people rave how cute it was at a wedding and I haven't had a chance to hear other perpectives on it. I guess I will have to think of something else then..: )
Posted by sauterkm[/QUOTE]
Actually my SIL did them at a wedding a few weeks ago. Except it wasn't even something she cared about and it was a charity that's important to her FIL.
Here's what I can tell you: FIL regularly donates to a charity that provides houses to families in Haiti. He regularly does this in our names, which does in fact upset me. We get junk mail from this charity now, and not to mention I personally and politically would rather support charities that help those closer to home - usually local charities get my buck for that reason. Now, at this same wedding they had centerpieces that had cost well $50+ a piece. If a donation was so important to the bride, then I would have thought maybe she could have given up the expensive, wasteful flowers or something, but she gave up something she didn't care about.
In my day to day life when I donate, I'm giving up a meal out or a new dress. I'm sacrificing for that - not asking others to sacrifice when I am not. If I only put my birthday and Christmas gift money towards donating to charity, for one thing I would be a crappy person but I would also be in effect saying that I must not care that much about that charity. If you really care about this charity, I would guess that you'll give up something you actually care about in the wedding.
When I read those threads(which I appreciated having to read) I just thought it was a little uncalled for to people to be so abrasive to girls just wanting advice.
These types of sites are about sharing ideas and getting advice. There are nicer and just as effective ways to tell someone something is not a good idea. Weddings are stressful enough.
No one has been this way to me about my posts on this (which I am somewhat surprised by).
[QUOTE]Yes, that is why I said thanks for the links because I wanted to know what others thought. When I read those threads(which I appreciated having to read) I just thought it was a little uncalled for to people to be so abrasive to girls just wanting advice. These types of sites are about sharing ideas and getting advice. There are nicer and just as effective ways to tell someone something is not a good idea. Weddings are stressful enough. No one has been this way to me about my posts on this (which I am somewhat surprised by).
Posted by sauterkm[/QUOTE]
We've all been guests at weddings so we do have some knowlege about what we are talking about here. TK is about sharing ideas and advice. The difference between TK and all the other sites is that we are going to tell you when something is a bad idea. We don't know you. We are not invested in making sure your feelings aren't hurt. We do want to you understand that what you are proposing is offensive to a lot of people and that if we have a problem with this, you can bet a lot of your guests will too. The difference is that they won't tell you.
The bottom line of almost everyone's advice is to skip the favors and save the money.
Maybe the others are right - just donate and don't offer it as a favor. People are going to come to your wedding to share in your special day, not for the favor.
In the past I have loved to volnteer at the Animal Shelter in my home town and recently it has had many problems so I wanted to donate some of the money to them as well as some of our own money.
My groom-to-be and his groomsmen are often involved in fund raisers and events to raise money for families of fallen police officers and that is why we picked the other chartiy.
[QUOTE]As a guest, I don't want to be told what I'm not getting while you have a "look what I did!" moment. Donating is great, but you can just donate at any time without looking AWish and making it part of the wedding.
Posted by CassieeK[/QUOTE]
This. I will never understand why the need to announce how wonderful you are for making a donation instead of giving me candy. Why not give up uplighting in lieu of the donation, or have smaller floral arrangements.
Just make a donation and don't give favors. It's that simple.