Tricky gift situation

stacey1508

I'm having a destination wedding in California in June.  Pretty much all of our guests are coming from out of town, around 75-80 people.  My MIL is hosting a rehearsal dinner where everyone is invited, and she brought up the idea of giving welcome bags there. It's not logistically possible for us to hand-deliver them.  I was under the impression we'd just include some information and maybe some local treats- something simple.  But she mentioned she wants to monogram wine bags to give as gifts...but just for her friends and family!  She said she figured we'd do whatever we want for guests on my parents' and me and my fiance's lists.  But I can't handle buying personalized gifts for everyone on my parents and our couple's lists.  I feel really bad about not treating our guests the same, but I don't know what to do.  I can't stop her from giving whatever she wants, but I also don't think I can handle buying personalized gifts for everyone. Any suggestions on how to handle this??

misfranks

simple. Its not her wedding that needs to be clear. Some people dont have the wedding they wanted it sounds like she is trying to relive hers through you. Its not your job to buy anything special for anyone specific side. She can ask, request, and demand. But your fiance needs to put her in line. And explain calmly, nicely, but stearnly the issue. Its better that you dont be involved in that unless she doesn't back off. If she purchases them on her own there is not really too much you can do except ask her to abide by your wishes. Maybe you can ask your wedding planner or location cordinator to step in if she places the gifts. If she does it against your wishes then make sure that, that is the only aspect she is involved in. Explain to her that it isn't fair to other people to get something different and that she is being rude to "expect" that your on your own for your side. I would remind her that Marriage is about making a family and family doesn't do that to eachother. And personally its not a good sign that she is already trying to take control of you as a couple on your big day. If you have any further thought or questions just message me.