I'm obviously partially insane. I freaking love my fiance and can't imagine my life without him. I think I was seriously trying to talk myself out of getting married and reading things online were only helping. I had been talking to friends who left their relationships but never anyone who stayed. Last night I had a great conversation with my MOH and her husband. My MOH was kind of wishy washy like me but her husbands comment put it into perspective for me and her.
We were talking about how I wanted to marry him 4 years ago and he said "well if you got married 4 years ago you'd be getting a divorce right now." I said "no, we'd be working on things." They were like well, THERE YOU GO. That's your answer. The fact I said that was like HELLO! Planet earth? Are you there? It was really interesting talking to them because they went through a lot of the things that I'm feeling. Marriage is work and after 6 years if I leave over things that can be worked through I see a huge flaw within myself.
I've bottled up my emotions and that's because of my childhood so I don't tell him how I feel.. We're going to be more honest with eachother and each day will be a growing/learning experience. I'm feeling euphoric... Through the entire planning process I've felt the opposite but I've come to realize that this is what I want. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I'm happier now than I've been in a looong time. This is how I should feel. It's sad that it had to happen at the end of the planning process but I needed to go through everything I did to get here. I'm all smiles and so happy. God, I didn't know that it would feel this way! I'm so excited and I can't help but think I'm going to ball during our vows! lol
FYI We're going to do counseling as well. I think that's something we didn't do that's very important. I can't wait! : )
