My SIL/Florist keeps changing her mind

flobear100

I'm having flower worries.

I asked my sister-in-law (brother's wife), who is an amazing floral designer, if she would mind making my bouquets for the wedding. Initially she said she wanted to. This week I had sent a picture of the ceremony venue asking if she thought we should do anything with that space, or just stick with the 3 bouquets that I asked her to make.

I happened to call over there this week (for something completely different) and she is trying to back out. She said that I wanted too much and she thinks someone local should do it. I told her I was just asking her opinion if anything needed to or should be done in the ceremony space, but I was fine with just the 3 bouquets. She kept going back and forth, saying that she didn't know of any backup plans if the flowers weren't perfect, and that she wouldn't be able to do her normal job because she would be traveling to the wedding (she lives in a different state). 

I told her if she doesn't want to do it to tell me, but I'd really like her to since I trust her. We finally decided that we would make a final decision at the shower next month.

We are a little over 3 months away from the wedding and I'm worried that she's going to back out in a month, or worse yet, a week before the wedding. I really only want 3 bouquets (mine and my Maid of Honor and Matron of Honor). In fact, she initially was trying to have me do more flowers! 

Should I start looking into having someone else (locally) make these bouquets? How difficult would it be for me to put three (sunflower) bouquets together? 

I'm nervous!

flower_diva

you are settting yourself up for disappointment...she's already expressed her opinion and you didn't listen....don't push it.....find a florist now and be done with it...everyone will rest easier and she can relax at your wedding as a guest.

dogsandfrogs

If you are considering putting your own bouquets together as an alternative, that's definitely an option.  Girls do their own bouquets all the time, and if you're doing something simple it should be relatively easy.  At the very least you need to talk to a local florist about getting the flowers you would need to make them yourself, but it might be worth seeing if they are still available on your date in the event you don't want to try to put the bouquets together yourself or if you want more flowers for other parts of the wedding.  The sooner you talk to a florist the better, because they can get booked up really quickly.

It's sounding like she doesn't really want to do it and she's trying to find a delicate way to tell you that.  You started to give her an out when you told her to just tell you if she didn't want to do it, but then you went on to say "you really would like her to", which could make her feel bad about not trying harder to fit it into her schedule.  I think your best bet is to call her up and say she sounds like she's really busy and you never meant to make her feel obligated to do the flowers.  Tell her you're sorry for making her feel pressured, and that you really won't be hurt if she says she doesn't think she can do work she'll be really proud of from that distance.

flobear100

I guess I'm just frustrated because for her wedding I did everything she asked no matter what. I couldn't tell when we were talking if she really wanted to bail on the three bouquets or if she wanted to bail on anything else.

I guess I'm upset at not only her changing her mind, but that I never questioned helping her out for her wedding. I guess I'm just surprised that she's not feeling the same way, especially after she initially said she would be happy to help with the flowers and came up with a huge plan to which I brought it down to three bouquets.

I think you are right though...just start searching for someone locally

flobear100

To update, I took the advice of telling her not to worry about doing the flowers, and now I'm going to start going around to see who can make the bouquets and also try making them myself.

Thank you!

dogsandfrogs

Glad you got it worked out!  Good luck finding a local florist!!